You Said It, Not Me

*begin rant*

one of my greatest pet peeves is inappropriate gum-chewing, by which i mean people who chew gum with their mouths open where i can see and hear them.

so last night i'm on muni, in a single seat, contentedly knitting away and keeping my eyes on my work as more and more people get on. and some woman ends up standing next to me, reading.

and chewing.

i don't even have to look at her to know she is chewing gum because every few seconds she makes some gross wet smacking sound to remind me.

and i try to ignore it. try to ignore it. try to ignore it.

but finally, as the chewing reaches new auditory heights, i decide i have to at least give her a disgusted look*.

so i look up, and find myself staring directly at the title of her book.

it's called "choke."

*end rant*

*hey, this is as confrontational as i get, folks.


  1. Dude, I hear you. My officemate smacks gum and slurps soup so loud I swear she has a microphone.

    It's disgusting.

  2. What's even worse is a former chain smoker, now gumchewer, who only stops chewing to change out gum, and spits the old gum out on the ground.



  3. OH. OH. OH MY GOD!! The gum crackers... Right up there with the chip/carrot open mouth crunch chewers in the office. Makes me mental. But the WORST ever was a 10 hour flight, that was full, that had me seated beside a bubble blowing, smacksounding gum chewer. I lost it about halfway through and told him he either chewed with his mouth closed, or I made him spend the rest of the flight with it on his nose. He said that was the first time a 5-foot-nuthin' woman had ever made him fear for his safety in our subsequent date.
    For the record, I'm 5'2", dammit!

  4. We can thank Britney Spears and Co for women acting/dressing as if they were an entire generation of cocktail waitresses.

  5. Seriously- this is like my biggest pet peeve ever. In my house we call this "food noises." Whenever anyone makes gratuitous food noises, I have to fight the urge to claw their eyes out.

    You obviously have much more restraint than I do....

  6. if they were an entire generation of cocktail waitresses.

    I know a few current and former cocktail waitresses that would take issue with that statement. Just because a woman has to work (her ass off) for a living, doesn't mean she smacks her gum.

  7. i'm gonna have to side with el gallo on this one.

    i've known a lot of classy waitresses in my life. plus i seriously wouldn't mind looking like brit-ney on any given day.

    and then, given my forays into "breezy elegance" mode, i really can't point fingers about trashiness.

    i think i just think of "rude" as something else.

  8. you know.......i spent MANY a days as a cocktail waitress/ server and i have to admit, i was laughing pretty hard at the britney comment...sorry guys!

  9. k-

    although i agree with the whole gum-smacking thing, i have a lot bigger issues with people on public transportation (in Boston, MA it's "the T") getting in my space--my physical, auditory, or olfactory space.

    I thought you might enjoy reading this post in my own live journal. The last paragraph is a rant about a recent T experience.

  10. pinkjaime said...
    you know...i was laughing pretty hard at the britney comment...sorry guys!

    We already knew you smacked your gum!

  11. Between the gum smackers and the shuffling-foot-scuffers, I'm just about to lose my mind in this town! Pick up your damn feet, people!

  12. Mea Culpa ! Mea Culpa ! Apologies to all the lovely current and ex cocktail waitresses. I absolutely didn't mean it that way.

  13. Can't stand it either. I know someone was there to teach these people manners!

  14. my officemate eats lunch at 11:30 everyday, on the dot.

    he chews with his mouth open. smack smack smack. and after lunch, he takes a mouthful of water and gargles.

    i asked him "are you gargling?" he replied "no, i'm swishing."

    many a times i have had to bite my knuckle just to stop myself from strangling him.

  15. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't pick their feet up when they walk. Especially when wearing flip flops. I have to cross the street in order to not walk up behind them (or slow down so they catch up) to tell them to learn how to walk!

    The gum chewing is a close second.

    Choke (by Chuck Pal-something or other) is a good book. He is the writer of Fight Club.

  16. "choke" was an awesome book. who cares if she was gum-popping? she's reading an excellent work of fiction and supporting a great writer. her taste in books trumps her chewing shenanigans. if she had spit the gum OUT on you, though...

  17. Speaking of the noises people make.. I had a boyfriend who was obsessed with brushing his teeth - he did it 5-8 times a day. Hey, I'm not complaining about good oral hygiene, but after he rinsed he had to make this loud, grating noise to clear out his throat - it sounded like he was hawking up a loogie. You know what I mean. I kid you not, I actually broke up with him because I just couldn't imagine a life where I had to hear that sound 5-8 times a day for the rest of my life.
    P.S. Did I mention that love this blog?
    ~Oakland Girl

  18. I agree! Check out the GumBlasters website at


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