you know, i'm not so bad in the kitchen. sure, i've cooked dinner for someone other than me* only twice since i've lived in my current apartment (7 months), and sure the second time i set the dish towel on fire, but dinner was good and the fire was small and seriously, i handled it very nonchalantly (thank you, wine).
*dinner for me: indian take-out. but this is not the point.
oh right, my cleaning skills could use a little work. but whose couldn't? my cats don't care if i don't make my bed, and clean dishes are only really necessary if you USE dishes regularly (see above re: indian).
but back to why i'm a domestic goddess.
my apartment, though the size of a shoebox, is adorable. my furniture is cute. i throw good parties (= all my guests get drunk and as far as they can remember had a GREAT time).
most importantly, i can unclog a drain.
i know you think i'm lying, but i'm not. for the first time in my life when faced with a bathroom clog, i didn't have a boy to call. [insert you feeling bad for me here.]
[also note: i do not call my landlords/supers ever ever because i am afraid of them and my dishes are never clean anyway and this embarrasses me when someone i don't know is going to see my sink. also it would mean i'd have to be dressed in non-holey-sweats and have makeup on and it is just too much work.]
so i did the most amazing thing of all. i went to walgreens, and bought some drano-y stuff, and got home and read the directions and followed the directions, and IT WORKED!
this means that i actually fixed a bathroom thing all. by. my. self.
so between the bathroom savvy and my kitchen-fire nonchalant-itude and my knitting, i believe i am on the path to true marthahood.
[all i need now is a logo, a multi-billion-dollar company, and um, sound legal advice.]