Women Are So SO Crazy
(because men totally make us that way)
"ohmygod i'm worried," confides ShoeHo, who is getting as much work done as i am today.
and in case you're not keeping track, today = friday. which means if you're single and female, you have a weekend ahead of yourself where you have to figure out ahead of time what fabulous activities you're going to engage in because if you don't, you know that you will likely end up hanging out with your married friends drinking boxed wine from a straw.
unfortunately, figuring it out ahead of time usually requires at least two people, one of whom is male.
and that's how the crazy starts.
"what? did He say something bad?" i ask.
"no, i emailed Him at..." ShoeHo looks up her sent email files. "11:21 a.m."
"ShoeHo! it's not even 12:30 yet!" i say, feigning shock and dismay at such crazy behavior.
(because what woman on the planet would EVER start worrying about why He hasn't called as soon as she hits send? no, to do that would be crazy.)
"i know. but...i was waiting...but then, well" she looked at me sheepishly.
"i called and left him a message, too."
GAH! we are so crazy.
"NO NO NO NO NO," i say, all helpful-like. "you can't DO that."
"i know but kristy, he makes me crazy!"
ShoeHo had her first date with Him last week. crazy starts right away.
::post-lunch, back at the front desk::
"kristy, can i be crazy?" asks PinkJaime.
"go ahead," i say.
"okay. He said he was going to call me this afternoon. but i missed a call from the 415 area code, and now there's no message. what if it's Him? do you think it is?"
PinkJaime met her Him last weekend at a party.
"i don't know. maybe. probably."
"why didn't He leave a message!?"
"maybe he was too nervous? maybe he will call back?"
"whatever. can you do me a favor?" she asks.
and here comes the crazy.
"can you call the number and see who it is?"
"um, is that a good idea? don't you think that's weird? and also, if i call the number, how will i know? am i supposed to ask?"
"no, just say you got the wrong number."
"but..." i love that i am not the crazy one today, "if he just says 'hi' and then i say, oh sorry, wrong number, that doesn't help us at all."
"kristy just call it. you know you want to."
at which point i google it and find out that the number belongs to the guy she thinks.
"according to google, it was Him."
"WHY didn't he leave a message!?"
i don't know. i don't know why guys don't leave messages. i don't know why guys take two or three or four or five or six days to call.
i do know that the women i know are all -- whether experienced or inexperienced or playing by The Rules or completely ignoring them -- in one way or another, waiting for that call. and being crazy in the meantime.