Why Marketing People Suck

i just got an email from an ecommerce company. that's fine.

they are trying to drive me to their site. that's fine.

they are trying to lure me in with Mother's Day specials. that would be fine.

if the store weren't called KEG WORKS.

seriously kids, wtf? "get mom that beer she's always wanted!"

if it had been tongue-in-cheek, i could've let it go. i mean, i get that -- from a marketing perspective -- any opportunity to drive web traffic should be exploited. but if you sell BEER and BEER ACCESSORIES, maybe you might want to let mother's day go?

apparently not. apparently i do not know anything.

apparently mother's day is a perfect opportunity to sell a CORONA GIFT SET, proudly featuring:
  • Corona Tin Sign (12" diameter)
    anything bigger would be tacky, obviously
  • Corona Cast Iron Wall Mount Bottle Opener
    wouldn't want mom to break a nail popping open her brewskis
  • Corona Lime Slicer
    that's for beer with a twist, kids
  • (2) Corona Zip up Beer Coolers
    so mom can enjoy her beer with a friend
and the best part? it's 20% off! so go! get buyin'! act now, before all the coronas sell out and you have to resort to getting mom something like, i dunno, flowers.


  1. K,

    First off, quick question... so, if I revisit your blog oh say about 3-4 times a day and am continuously disappointed when no new entry is found... am I officially cyber-stalking :)

    Secondly, in the spirit of sharing bad mornings: Today morning the HR manager informed me that the VP from the *other* department decided to not further pursue my application for an open position in his dept. This after 3 interviews and a month of waiting ! To top it all off, now my manager knows that (as he put it) "I'm looking around" ... wow ! I must be the first employee to be accused of infidelity, funny thing is, I feel guilty too !!!

    Oh, and by the way, this is the 3rd time I am typing this message cuz the other two times I tried to leave a comment, I got the apache.tomcat. whatever error.... talk about perfect days..

    Finally, maybe I should just stop ranting and raving on other peoples blogs and start one of my own??? what do you say ? << ask me nicely and I may even start knitting ;) >>

    Ps: I did read Crazy Aunt Purl's blog about the bus catching on fire.... read it in our monthly "status" meeting.... oh, and did you read the other post about the bee sting and meat tenderizer ??? I was rolling on the floor laughing

    Another PS: I realize this comment has nothing to do with marketing or their ability to continually amuse all of us... but hey, till I get my own blog.... I have no choice but to rant and rave wherever I can

  2. What if mom is famous for her keg stands?

  3. Oh come on! Everyone knows the perfect gift for momma on Mother's Day is a box of wine...with a straw. Who do they think they're kidding?

  4. This is my first time on your website and I just want to let you know that I love your sense of humor.

  5. Nothing says "I love you, Mom" like a Corona. Of course, should be served in nice beer mug. Can't forget our manners, can we ? :)

  6. Sadly, I know a "Mom" that would love that Corona gift set. *sigh* And NO it's not me!!! I can show you HER blog, if you like. LOL

  7. Keep writing and we will keep reading.

  8. Thanks for the exelent idea for a mothers day gift....Woo Hoo.....

    Haha just kidding.

  9. Um. I'm a mother and I'd take that gift. It's alcohol right?

  10. so you're saying i shouldn't have gotten mommy dearest the corona set?

  11. They should have *at least* included a beer-hat, too. You know, the ones with the tube-y straws so you can drink a beer that's resting on your head?

  12. sounds like the perfect gift choice for my mother in law, the booze hound.

    she's not really a booze hound.

  13. you are absolutely hilarious.

    and you clearly haven't met my mother.

  14. This is all I can find for WHY MARKETING PEOPLE SUCK? I'm a designer who knows a thing or two about marketing. More than half of my projects are total BS to begin with because of this exact reason - MARKETING PEOPLE SUCK. They are paying, so we do it anyway. Here's the deal:

    They are hacks: most of them don't have a degree in anything related to marketing.

    They don't market: Instead, they try to tell copywriters, designers and photographers how to do their jobs.

    They're delusional: They will drop lines like "oh I was a designer during a semester in school back in '79" "I am a pretty good writer, too" "make that logo larger, people need to READ it." and so on, ad nauseum.

    Sorry, have to be anon because of my career, but I'm feeling the same sentiments, though stronger and from a different angle. Marketing people are the bane of my career.


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