Friday, July 31, 2009

A Note To Those Who May Be Struggling With Infertility and/or Who Are Trying To Conceive

I can't emphasize it enough. I had sound, medical rational for thinking I would have trouble conceiving. I know what it feels like to fear infertility.

I have stayed up nights, entertaining thoughts of what my life would look like if I was never able to have children. Would I adopt? Or would I go the Dual-Income-No-Kids, embrace-my-career-and-disposable-income route? Where maybe I would take up an expensive shoe habit? Perpetually live with chic white furniture? Play a martini-addled Auntie Mame to my sisters' and friends' kids?

I have cried at pictures of everyone else's kids. Not because I felt any ill will towards them, not for one second. But out of a kind jealousy, if there is such a thing. Will my life always look so different from theirs? Will I never know what it's like to take a photo of my own child?

I would never have described myself as baby-crazy. I just happened to spend the first 25 years of my life assuming I would have kids. So as I crept towards 30, and then towards 35, and the possibility of kids seemed less and less likely, I just didn't understand how I could have been so wrong. I started to regret my life choices and feel a sense of betrayal in my body, my conceptions.


So I want to make two points, if I may. If you know what I'm talking about and you're reading this, me, my blog anyway.

One: I do not take "having a baby" for granted. I know what it's like to promise the Fates that I would gladly accept a nightmarish pregnancy or week-long labor or breastfeeding malfunctions if I can just have a baby.

And getting pregnant and having a baby has not made me forget those thoughts. I tried not to complain about being pregnant. (Neither in real life nor on this blog.) I will never complain about having a c-section instead of a "traditional" birth. I will try desperately to never be mindless about how lucky I am and how precious this experience should be.

Yes, I know that millions of people have been having babies for thousands of years, but I also know how hard it is to be on the other side. To have to wonder, if it's so goddamned easy to have a kid, why I don't seem able to.

NOTE: If I ever DO complain mindlessly, if I ever AM insensitive to those struggling with fertility, please call me on it. Please.

Two: This is not a "baby blog," not any more than this is a "marriage blog" or a "life in the suburbs blog." Of course I know that Having A Child Changes EverythingTM. My blog is already one of those things, as evidenced by nine million posts about pregnancy and the subsequent baby photos. But this is still my space, where I write about my life and my perceptions and my messes. I'm no longer single and living in San Francisco, but I'm still the tripping-spilling-martini-drinking-crazypants I always was. If my married-suburban-baby circumstances make me less interesting to you, I understand. Just know that I'm not trading in my "life blogging" card for a "mommyblogging" one. (At least, that is not my expressed purpose.)

Lastly, and just because I loved it when I read it (though it made me weep), here is a fantastic site that details the top things NOT TO SAY to someone dealing with infertility. I think it's a fantastic thing for anyone and everyone to read...because you probably DO know someone who's struggling, even if they haven't made that public yet.

Just wanted to put that out there.

Monday, July 27, 2009

My Labor Story: Part One

The Set-Up

Oh, where to begin?

As you may recall, when we last left the labor "story," we'd chosen NOT to induce the baby on Thursday, July 3. This was because we'd hoped that she'd magically decide to pop out of me -- naturally -- shortly thereafter.

But when the holiday weekend (and my birthday) came and went without so much as a single Braxton-Hicks contraction, we found ourselves back at the doctor's on Monday afternoon. We entered the doctor's office prepared to offer a lot of shoulder-shrugging, and rightfully so. Upon seeing us the receptionist exclaimed, "You're still PREGNANT!?!?"

We were still in good spirits, though. We met with the doctor who delicately explained that we'd need to go to the hospital in the morning and that we should be sure to bring our bags with us.

We didn't sleep well. We called the hospital at 8 a.m. and asked when we should come in. They apologized but said they were too busy and to please call back at noon. We called back at noon, they asked us to please wait a little longer.

I sat on the sofa in utter disbelief while Ish worked upstairs. Just another day, except for the part about waiting for the hospital to call us to say Yes, you can come have your baby now. I alternated between watching DVR'd episodes of Law & Order: SVU and the Michael Jackson Memorial Service. Both seemed like the most totally, completely wrong things to be watching while waiting to (possibly) go to the hospital to have labor induced. But there you go. Life, stranger than fiction.

Just before 2 p.m. we got the green light to go in. For no reason that has anything to do with anything, the garage door broke on our way out.

We managed to get it closed, but what an odd thing to happen, you know? I don't think there's a single omen that could be harder to interpret. Ah, yes. Your garage door has closed at a broken angle. To the ancient Greeks, this meant your child would be born a girl and in the early evening.

Note, if you can make it out, how lopsided the door is.

After tests and consultations and all that jazz, we said yes. Let's get it going.

At 4 p.m. they gave me Cytotec, a drug that sparks menstrual cramps. The idea was to start things off slowly, to hopefully jump-start my body into a natural(ish) labor.

For the next three hours, I sat in bed in my street clothes feeling nothing but pregnant.

Me. Street clothes. Giant pregnant belly.

We'd positioned the bed so that I was upright. Ish and I had our laptops open and the tv on. We had in-room wifi.

My "throne." I love the way the reflected sunset shines on my laptop.
(The tv is in the top right corner.

I got to order dinner.

This was the last thing I ate for two days.

And the view from our room afforded us a charming view of the sun setting over the St. Helena hills.

It was really quite pleasant.

And then I had my first real contraction.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Before I Tell You Way Too Much About My Labor, Let Me Piss Off All The Natural Labor Advocates!

Eve, 11 days old.

Photographs taken by child photographer (and my bff), Emily Cobb Henry.
You can see her photo site here.

I have no idea why I was ultimately able to conceive so easily, or why I had an easy pregnancy, or why I seem to have an easy baby. I am anxious even writing these words, as though putting them into type will make them no longer true, or somehow "jinx" me and everything will fall apart.

I lost both my parents to cancer by the time I was 30 and, as I've stated before, this has had a significant affect on my ability to think rationally when it comes to matters of health. Things could be fine, but maybe they aren't, and maybe that maybe will result in the worst possible outcome. That's how I think. That's how I thought, felt, feared throughout my pregnancy -- that anything (or nothing) could lead to the worst possible outcome.

I barely believed I'd ever get to meet my daughter.

Dramatic? Yes. Silly? Yes, as it turns out. Also? True.

But. But but but.

In the grand scheme of things, I understand how much is not up to me, and how much is simply not in my control. I spent a huge portion of my growing-up life trying to fix things I couldn't fix, wanting to repair messes that weren't mine, trying to solve problems I didn't create. And for so many reasons we can let my therapist work out, my efforts didn't work. When my mom got sick and my husband left me, I realized -- with tremendous fanfare -- that you can try really hard to make things turn out a certain way and fail anyway.

I am grateful to have learned that. I'm not happy about the circumstances under which I learned that, but at least I know. I have no illusions about what I can control. My controlling-ness comes out in my work, in small day-to-day things, sometimes in (non-personal) projects. But I have let go of a lot.

Sometimes you plan and plan and plan and then the worst thing happens anyway and what was the point of all your stupid planning? All it did was make you crazy.

This is why, once I realized I was really and truly pregnant, I became the most mellow I have ever been.

The internet and pregnancy books and websites are treacherous places. As a new mom I was clueless and wanted to learn everything I could so I could do things "right". But it took me about two hours to determine that if I were to follow every recommendation, I'd be a complete basketcase. The list of off-limit-just-to-be-safe foods and drinks and activities and products could, if you were under the impression that you could control things, consume your whole life and you'd be worried at every turn about every little thing.

I know lots of pregnant women who were that way. I should have been one of them. Except.

Except I let go. Except, I guess, I'm cynical. Except I don't, really, believe that all the tiny things matter because if something horrible is going to happen, it's going to happen and there's very little you can do to prevent it. Not one but TWO of my best friends did everything by the book and it didn't make a difference to their failed pregnancies. My sister did her damndest to have the perfect pregnancy and that had nothing whatsoever to do with the genetic condition that befell her beautiful baby boy. And you know there are crazy crack moms and alcoholics and underaged high-schoolers who don't even care having healthy babies every day.

I stopped my own madness before it started.

The second I found out I was pregnant I started to read, yes. I researched. I explored and discussed and blogged and studied a lot and then said OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT to most of it. I mean, I didn't drink tequila and smoke crack. Of course there are reasonable things to do and not do, reasonable things to worry about. But if I focus on the big picture, then I drown out the noise.

I live with the gripping fear that comes from knowing there's absolutely nothing -- nothing -- I can do to guarantee I have a healthy baby. But that fear also puts into perspective how unnecessary it is to obsess over whether I can, say, eat a soft cheese, have a glass of wine, or take a bath.

My perspective may be rooted in something rather grim, but the result has been quite positive.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because it's not that I don't care. It's not that it doesn't matter, it's not that I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person naturally, it's not that I really think "Oh, whatever." But that's how it came across -- not just when I was enjoying a piece of cheese or glass of wine while pregnant, but when I had to decide whether to induce labor, whether to have a c-section, whether to give the baby formula, when to leave the hospital.

I just (ha! "just") wanted to have a healthy baby. I didn't let myself get wrapped up in how that was supposed to look. If I could be lucky enough even to just HAVE a baby, I didn't care about the rest of the stuff. Or rather, I didn't overly care.

I'm envious of the women who are trusting enough in the world to have birth plans. Who think that if they write it down, that's how it will go. Who have resources enough to go to the hospital and choose to have a home birth anyway, because they trust it will be fine. Who want their experiences to be heightened by not taking drugs, who have immovable conviction about needing to bond with their baby the moment it's born. Who, basically, worry about the details because they assume they WILL have a baby.

Whereas I just don't. I didn't. I went into it thinking I had no idea what would happen. I didn't make a plan so I wouldn't be disappointed if when it didn't work out. That seemed like tempting fate to me. I just hoped I'd end up with a baby. Everything else seemed totally inconsequential.

I'm beyond grateful it worked out.

And hi. Now with all that weird background given, I can finally get into what actually happened. The whole "labor" thing was rather enjoyable, all things considered.

Friday, July 17, 2009


The good, great, best news is that Eve is a fantastic newborn. I don't have a lot to compare her to, but so far, she's been a dream. She isn't very fussy, and when she gets fussy she's easy to soothe. She eats a lot (we haven't figured out a breastfeeding "routine" yet, but I'm just following her lead) and sleeps a lot, especially at night. I was unaware that newborns were capable of sleeping for 6- and 8-hour stretches.

My only "however" here is that I wish I had the opportunity to be writing more about what's going on. I want to tell the labor and delivery story while it's still fresh in my mind (and physical memory). I want to write at least something about breastfeeding because now that I'm doing it, I feel I have a better platform from which to rail against the "Nursing Nazis." And I also want to write about a bunch of other stuff so it's not BABY ALL THE TIME around here.

But the pain meds. They make this hard.

I've been on a Vicodin/Ibuprofen cocktail since my c-section, and I hate it. I love that I'm not in agonizing pain, of course, but I don't like taking Vicodin. It makes my head fuzzy and communication challenging -- I can hear myself speaking slower than I'm thinking. Writing is nearly impossible. (I'm embarrassed by how long this entry has taken me to put together; I can barely construct emails.)

So yesterday I decided to start cutting back on the meds, because I'm strong and feeling great! Yes! But then everything started hurting a lot, and then more, and then by 2 a.m. I had to call the doctor to make sure I wasn't going to die.

Doctor: Are you still taking your pain meds?

Me: Yeeeees...but... I took only about half the dosage today.

Doctor, with nearly audible eye roll: Why don't you take the correct dosage now, and then call the office tomorrow morning if you're still hurting.


So right. Apparently I'm still recovering from surgery, even though I've basically been ignoring that fact for a week. Thus, it'll still be a while before I can construct the blog posts I'm dying to write. (I hope you will be patient!)

And thanks, again, for reading.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Have you heard the good news?

She's here!

We could not be happier to announce the arrival of our daughter,

Eve Elizabeth Boston Bartlett.

Eve was born on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 5:57 p.m.
(Or, as we like to say, "5 of 6 on 7-8-9.")

* * * * * * * * * * *

I tracked as much of the labor as I could (which was a surprising amount, if you ask me) on Twitter, and tried to update Facebook accordingly. Of course, there is SO much more to tell you about. Including announcing who won the contest below!

But for the next few days -- while I'm getting my bearings and trying to use any extra minutes I find for naps -- I will leave you with this announcement, photos, and the Tweets that Ish and I made from when we went to the hospital to when Eve arrived.
**A VERY special thank-you to our good friend, Amy, who was thoughtful enough to pull these together for us and send them in a surprise email!**

In the meantime, please accept my (and Ish's) thanks for reading and for coming along on this crazy ride.

I can't believe I'm not pregnant anymore.

I can't believe I'm a mom now.


* * * * * * * * * * *
Proud Papa

Happy (If Very Evidently Unshowered) Mama


(Yes, this is a picture of her breastfeeding. I think her expression is hilarious. No, nothing is sacred anymore.)
(Also, her eyes look brown here, but they're still very blue.)

* * * * * * * * *
The Twitter Experience

July 7, 2009

8:39 am - kristysf - BabyWatch Day [expletive] 12: Hospital still super busy this morning. Told us to call back at noon to find out when
to come in. SO RELAXING.

12:22 pm - Ish - Hospital has put us in a holding pattern for "a couple more hours." At this rate, maybe we should name this baby "Godot."

12:25 pm - kristysf - Update: Tiny hospital still busy. (Dr in surgery) They will call us when they're ready. WHEEEEEEE.

12:35 pm - kristysf - It's best I didn't go into labor during the memorial. Talk about tacky.

1:57 pm - kristysf - I can hardly believe it myself, but we are HEADING TO THE HOSPITAL. Stay tuned for confirmation that we'll be induced

2:50 pm - Ish - At the hospital now with @kristysf. Don't know if we're staying yet, but we got a nice room, so I hope so.

4:03 pm - kristysf - Giving me cytotec, will watch my progress over next 4 hrs. If nothing, might be sent home!

kristysf - BabyWatch Update: We're staying. 1st dose of cytotec not doing anything, but we'll keep at it every 4 hours o'night. By morning, who knows?

7:30 pm - kristysf - Suspect my next Tweets will either be: "Nothing. Nothing. Nothing." or "OW! OW! OW!"

kristysf - Have big room to ourselves. Small, quiet birth cntr. TV channels way ltd, but awesome WIFI! Great view. No one here
but me, @Ish, and you!

8:30 pm - Ish - TV speaker in the hospital room makes everything sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Or a subwoofer in a Dodge Neon.

kristysf - Live-tweeting getting my IV put in. One-handed typing never felt so...ah...pinchy? Sharp?

kristysf - First IV attempt: FAIL. Blood down arm. Gonna try again, have warm towel on me now in interim. Nurse unfazed by

kristysf - Awesome! @AmySphere in labor, too. Yay, Twitter!

Ish - Having trouble following 'Deadliest Catch' with all this pregnanty medical stuff going on. Could you guys keep it down?

kristysf - IV is in - had to do it in my hand instead of arm (arm vein would not cooperate). Am starting to feel cramps/contractions...

kristysf - ...but they are BARELY registering on the monitor. This concerns me. They're pretty uncomfortable already.

9:30 pm - kristysf - I'm just at the eeeeaaarly stages of this. They're expecting me to sleep tonight (w/help frm Ambien). Is prolly gonna be a long one...

kristysf - Gonna try and get a little rest now. (Does that sound hilarious?) Will tweet as much as I can in the coming hours! Hopefully
while drugged!

10:30 pm - kristysf - Oops. I think my water just broke.

kristysf - I feel pretty strong that @AmySphere will give birth before me. Yes, my water broke, but she has things like
"effacement" and "dilation".

kristysf - Having experienced both "contractions" and "not contractions," I'm preferring "not contractions."

July 8, 2009

12:30 am - Ish - Who has two thumbs, an IV and her water broke? This guy...'s wife.

1:30 am - kristysf - Btw contractions I'm like, I should totally tweet! And then moments later, I'm very angry about that idea...

kristysf - A "breezy elegance" moment btw contractions: Standing, I just tangled myself up in my IV/monitor cords like a dog on
a leash. Nice.

kristysf - Also, I've dilated to a whopping 1. At this point, I'll get pain meds on Saturday.

2:30 am - kristysf - Why is it that during a contraction, the last thing in the world I want to do is breathe?

3:30 am - kristysf - Update: first pain meds administered. Halle-frickin-lujah. I can't feel my nose.

5:30 am - kristysf - Do contractions still hurt w/ pain meds? Yes, like a mofo. But at least now I am no longer trying to claw my face off.
Still not 3 cm.

kristysf - AM update: making progress. Will get epi as soonas it's feasible, next coupla hours? 99% sure will have this kid
sometime today!

6:30 am - kristysf - Birthing fun fact NO ONE told me: once your water breaks, you just keep on leaking! Am always amazed at the
body's capacity for gross.

7:30 am- kristysf - Poor @Ish has hung in there but is resting now. Snoring some. But evrytime he stirs, he says "you're doing great, sweetie!"

Ish - What did I miss??

8:20 am - Ish - update: @kristysf has been napping between contractions. She got some pain med starting around 3am which has helped
a lot.

Ish - Hospital room has a beautiful view overlooking vineyards. Kinda makes you forgetOH RIGHT. I'm not the one in blinding
pain. My bad.

kristysf - Starting the day w/no pain meds, no "let's help this along" meds. They want me walking around, to get a real active labor
going. I say: ow.

kristysf - Hey, and thanks for following! I'd be sending more personal msgs and @'ing more folks if I weren't Tweeting btw

8:30 am - Ish- kristysf: I'm going to try to [go to the bathroom] again. Ish: Should I tweet that? kristysf: ... (sigh) might as
well, at this point.

10:00 am - Ish - @kristysf update: trying to nap between contractions AS UTERUSALLY.

10:30 am - faville - I love it that @kristysf is tweeting her way through childbirth.

Ish - It's *very* unlikely that this baby will be delivered at 12:34:56pm today.

11:25 am - kristysf - I actually slept! No easy feat! Now I'm up and ready for the next phase to begin. Not that the baby is, and nowhere near

kristysf - So went from crazy-ass "good progression" labor last night to like, nothing now. Did you know labor could go backwards?

kristysf - Now listening to my all-female a cappella group. If our singing Bon Jovi can't incite activity, I will officially deem this child

12:21 pm - kristysf - More fun facts: The notion of food is abhorrent to me and I've been nauseated for the last 12 hours. This is supposedly a
good thing.

Ish - Some of you have suggested I pinch or prod @kristysf in various ways. Um, she's a pregnant woman with contractions.
Who am I, Steve Irwin?

1:00 pm - kristysf - I swear I am not making this whole pregnancy up. I'm still at <3 cm! Waiting for Dr to get out of surgery to develop game plan.

kristysf - ...aaaaaaand Pitocin it is.

Ish- It looks like I will have time to write the Great American Yelp Review this hospital cafeteria deserves.

kristysf- Me to doc: "I just don't want to miss the epidural window." Yeah, like that would be possible since I started asking
for it two weeks ago.

2:00 pm- Ish - @kristysf update: Pitocin (actually Oxytocin) is on the way

3:12 pm - kristysf - Rocking these contractions. At 6, dr will see if we're making enough progress or if we make the c-section call. 3
more hours of waiting...

4:45 - Ish - It's C-Section time.

kristysf - It has been decided: c-section, right now. Am fine with decision, but scared of procedure. Pls keep
sending good thoughts.

7:01 - kristysf - Eve Elizabeth Boston Bartlett born 5:57 pm 7/8/09. 7 lbs 10 oz

Ish - Eve Elizabeth Boston Bartlett born 5:57 pm 7/8/09. 7 lbs 10 oz

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Before The Contractions Kick In...

As I type this, I have just taken my second dose of cervix-ripening Cytotec and the nurse is preparing my IV. It's 8:25 p.m. Ish and I are in our very comfy hospital room. I'm hooked up to a fetal monitor and something else that's supposed to gauge my contractions, were I having any.

We called the hospital this morning to find out what time we'd need to come in for our final check-up/potential check-in. They said they were crazy busy and to please call back at noon.

Hey -- when you're ready to go at 37 weeks and then almost 2 weeks overdue, what's another 4 hours, really?

We were told to come in by about 2:30 this afternoon. We figured this had to be it, and packed our stuff up with more care than ever before...remembering all the things we forgot and/or decided not to bring on our four prior trips, when we weren't sure we'd be staying. I even had a bit of an emotional good-bye to the kitties and to Sherlock in particular, since he was, really, my first baby.

-- Hold for setting up the IV --

That took longer than expected. It's 9:30 now.


They did the non-stress test and then decided to give me a cervix-ripening drug and monitor me for a few hours to see what would happen.

Can you guess what happened?

That's right. Not a damned thing.

So we met with the doctor at 6 p.m. She said that we could go home if we wanted to, let the Cytotec "simmer" in my system, let me go a couple more days and see if this baby would come of her (mostly) own volition. Or, we could stick with the Cytotec tonight and keep going and get the labor going.

We chose the latter. Neither we nor the doctor think that much would happen over the next two days without help.

So here we are. FINALLY.

I don't think I technically qualify as being "in labor" at this point, but I'm not sure. I'm having tiny contractions -- which, believe me, are plenty uncomfortable -- but they're going to try to have me sleep tonight (I get a sleeping pill, even!) to get as much rest as possible.

I guess we're all hoping I'm in active labor by morning. Which would rock. Although at the same time, I know this can be a one-to-THREE-day process, so it's anyone's guess.

OH. And speaking of guesses...

No one has guessed the name yet! Feel free to re-enter (post below)!

Lastly. I don't even know how to begin to express how amazing and special it has been to share this experience with you. I think it would have killed me to have gone through this waiting game without having a way to express my fears and frustrations. Your support, advice, warmth, care, and thoughtfulness has helped calm me more than I could have ever guessed.

I am so lucky.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Make Your Best Bet!

It's on! Almost!

It is 4:45 p.m and Ish and I are home from the doctor again, after loading up the car again, thinking we might go to the hospital and not come home empty-handed again.

But we were wrong. Again.

Yet...could it be? Tomorrow will be lucky trip #5?

The doctor we met with this afternoon basically said it's time to induce. Hooray! News of SOME SORT!

However, the hospital's birthing center is -- awesomely -- tiny and busy right now, so she said we should call them tomorrow morning to schedule a time to go in. Boo! News that basically equals MORE WAITING!

But still, we have motion. We will call, we will find out what time to go in, they will do some more tests, and then in all likelihood: begin the process.

*cue trumpets*

So instead of yammering on about how completely weirded out I am mentally and emotionally (because I'm both totally feeling under-prepared to have a kid and also TOTALLY READY RIGHT NOW I'M SO OVER THIS OMG), I thought hey! Let's have a contest!

I mean, Ish and I have been thinking about doing one, and seriously -- now seems as good and fair a time to take bets on when she'll be born as any. Your guess is as good as ours.

The first person who comes closest to her actual birth date and time will get a lovely boozy prize of some sort. Napa Valley wine? One of my favorite sparklings? I'll discuss with the winner. Note: Everyone, including my close friends and relatives, is welcome to join in the guessing. Let's say that you can guess until 5 p.m. Pacific time tomorrow.

I will also give a prize to the first person who correctly guesses her first name, since I'm amazed to report that she finally has one.
Note: my sisters and the handful of people who may have accidentally heard and/or finagled the "short list" out of us are not eligible to win. Duh. This guessing will stay open until she arrives.

Good luck!

I'm also thinking this will probably be my last post for a while, unless something weird happens and we are not able to begin the whole process tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll just plan to fill up your Twitter and FB feeds with waaaaaaaaay TMI. So that'll be fun for us both.

Here we (hopefully) go!

* * * * * *
Update: If you're really invested in this (which is sweet but totally not expected) here is my post about what kinds of names we're considering. I think the name we've chosen fits most of these guidelines. But I also realize there are still like, a billion to choose from and so I'm not really being helpful at all. Sorry!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy 4th!

I totally think it would be awesome if, somehow, this baby decided to shoot out of me before the end of the day.

Really -- it would be great fun to share this birthday with her, since it's a really fun birthday to have. Everyone's already celebrating, there are plenty of bbqs and parties and fireworks and good times to be had. Plus people tend to remember the date. Fun all around!

But, well, that's not going to be the case.

We went to the hospital yesterday for our routine check-up, and discussed our options with the doctor. He was all ready to start inducing us (4th of July baby!?)... until he saw the ultrasound. Not only has my cervix not budged from its high-and-tight position, but the baby hasn't even, uh, dropped. She's in the right position and she's close, but there's a big ole' gap between her head and my cervix.

For those of you with more than a passing interest in the mechanics of this, the "gap" means that even if they gave me drugs to ripen my cervix and/or start contractions, this wouldn't necessarily do anything. Except make me miserable. (And until she's where she needs to be, it seems no matter of home remedies is going to spark labor. It's almost like there's nothing to spark yet. Which is crazy, but there you go.)

So the doctor said we could try that. He said we could monitor my drug-induced crampy-contractions for four hours while the baby potentially stays exactly where she is -- which, hoo boy, sounds like fun! -- or we could wait.

We opted for "wait."

Let me state for the record: I am not opposed to inducing labor, I just don't want to until we have to.

But here we are, 9 days late. And if I don't go into magical, turn-on-a-dime labor by Monday, we go back to the doctor (and back to the hospital) Monday afternoon. And that, I believe, is when we reach "have to."

In the meantime, you should be happy to know I am doing what little I can to shake Peanut loose.

Yesterday, our friends Ben and Emily decided to come up to visit us, figuring they'd either help look after our house while we were at the hospital, or keep us company while we continued our waiting game.

At some point, we got the notion to start listening to records (yes, records), and that resulted in me deciding I should dance. Not, you know, a LOT. But I needed to get up and sway. And what better song to sway to than "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound of Music? NONE!

So if you will, please picture Ish sitting on a chair, watching as Emily (who is 16 weeks pregnant herself) and I and my eeeeenormous belly dance our version of The Preggo Shuffle to The Lonely Goatherd. It involved a lot of step-touching, arm-waving ridiculousness, and actually felt pretty good.

Sort of like this:

By the time we finished the rousing last bars of "Odl lay odl lay odl lay!" I was exhausted. Em was collapsed on the floor in a heap of giggles.

Ish just looked at the two of us and said, "That was the worst lap dance ever."

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Just A Quick Note

No. No labor.

I know many of you are following along on Twitter and/or Facebook, and I'm doing my best to provide regular updates of, well, all the nothing that's been happening there. We do *plan* to Tweet the birth, as much as possible. (Please be sure to follow @Ish in particular, I don't know how much tweeting I will be able to do myself...)

But let me just add for any of you who AREN'T on Twitter or FB or whatever, if you scroll down on this very page and look to the right under where it says "I TWITTER"

-- wait, hold on, here:

well, that's where my tweets are.

Not that they are, by any stretch, uh...interesting. But at least you'll know that something is going on without me having to write yet another blog post that says a whole lot of nothing.

* * * * * * *

Thanks for all of your suggestions on how to induce labor. I would far rather one of these tactics work than have to be induced through drugs in the hospital, etc.

However, I feel compelled to say that I don't think any of these tactics will work if my body isn't ready to start the process. And, while I can't really speak to this for sure, I just don't think it is.

BUT. Well. Feeling as unready (bodily speaking) as I do concerns me, given that the doctors are already speaking of inducing. So I have decided to schedule an acupuncture appointment for tomorrow morning. Because you know? I'm pretty sure that will do something. If it doesn't send me into labor directly, I suspect it will at least bring my body to the next stage of readiness.

Should be an eventful 4th of July weekend!

Oh, and by the way: I haven't posted much about this at all, but the first month I went to see an acupuncturist -- I was hoping she could help me get my wonky cycle "worked out" -- I got pregnant. So, right. "Worked out." HA!

I decided to continue to see that acupuncturist through my first two trimesters. I have no idea if it's the acupuncture that made those first two trimesters so incredibly easy (and don't want to count my chicken before it hatches), but it certainly didn't hurt. And if tomorrow's session "works," you will be hearing me sing some serious acupuncture praises indeed.