Mashed Potato Boobs
in case any of you were thinking you would like to have a more ample bosom, i was just reminded of a very good reason why you're wrong.
i was on a date with The Boy when we'd not been together long and he took me to a rather nice restaurant.
so there i was, trying to be all charming and sophisticated while dutifully minding my fork-from-plate-to-mouth movements.
but. the restaurant was intimate and we were speaking in low tones, which i thought was romantic until The Boy politely pointed to my shirt and i knew before i even looked down that i'd caught something, despite my best efforts.
except i hadn't "caught" so much as "smooshed".
in leaning forward to engage in intimate and meaningful conversation, my boobs had -- totally unbeknownst to me -- jutted into my mashed potatoes.
naturally i was wearing black.
the point is, there are some advantages to having a great rack, but it's almost impossible to manage sophistication when you have a creamy side dish smeared on it.
i was on a date with The Boy when we'd not been together long and he took me to a rather nice restaurant.
sidebar: now, it's true that i'm prone to spilling. and big breasts make for a sort of "shelf" that will serve to catch things (like crumbs) that fall into people without abnormally large breasts' laps. but because i know this, and if i am really really careful, i can avoid collecting crumbs or droplets like a pro.
so there i was, trying to be all charming and sophisticated while dutifully minding my fork-from-plate-to-mouth movements.
but. the restaurant was intimate and we were speaking in low tones, which i thought was romantic until The Boy politely pointed to my shirt and i knew before i even looked down that i'd caught something, despite my best efforts.
except i hadn't "caught" so much as "smooshed".
in leaning forward to engage in intimate and meaningful conversation, my boobs had -- totally unbeknownst to me -- jutted into my mashed potatoes.
naturally i was wearing black.
the point is, there are some advantages to having a great rack, but it's almost impossible to manage sophistication when you have a creamy side dish smeared on it.
Ahahahahahahahaha...whoops. Sorry, not laughing at you. Laughing with you. WITH you! heh heh
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean "breast effort?" LOL. Trust me. A little pototo(e) on your tatas just means you won't go hungry later. A tasty treat the likes of A & B cups will never have the pleasure of enjoying.
ReplyDeleteHuh, huh, you said creamy side dish.
ReplyDeleteTater Tits!
ReplyDeletethat's just hilarious. i used to have a girlfriend who'd spill everything... but she had huge boobs, so nothing ever hit her lap - it all went right to her boobs, like they were magnets or something.
or maybe swiffers. you know, how they attract dust. swiffer boobs!
*still giggling* A friend and I have experienced the same crumb-catcher syndrome. None of our blouses are free of the occasional spot of diet Coke, chocolate, mustard, etc. Hence ... why we call the excess boobage the "Condimental Shelf."
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times I've smooshed something on my plate. Ugh... so funny in the end but it sucks when it happens.
ReplyDeletegod, catching flyaway food on your chest is the worst. it reminds me of getting stuck in a shirt while in a dressing room due to large bazooms. which of course, is a different, more private humiliation. that is, unless, you need help and are all alone....ponder that one over for a bit..
ReplyDeleteOr you could have been wearing white and leaned into a dish of stewed tomatos. Thus the reason that I refuse to eat those damned tomatos ever again.
ReplyDeleteoops! wondering if I was there :)
ReplyDeletewas loocking for a profile on fastfoxxx.net. stumbled here. weard stuff happen to wierd people.YES. this blogg is carap and awsame at same time.
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