Internet Dating, Revisited

just so we're straight about this, i'm a bit of an e-slut.

but now before you have visions of me in some dark, virtual dungeon or engaging in inappropriate, one-handed IM conversations, that is totally not what i mean (and who would ever do something like that anyway?) (don't give me that look.).

what i mean is, i am aware that my two greatest seductive assets are:

a. my ability to sound somewhat charming (kinda) in the e-world, namely through writing. (because i do not sound charming in the real world. in the real world i stammer and say "um" a LOT and am really, really bad at filters a la having things like, "hey you're cute, are you smart?" and "do you think you're going to call me?" fall out of my mouth.); and

b. having big boobs. (look, i don't make the rules and i didn't choose this body type, god knows. but i have it, so come on.)

and so working point a. brings me great joy (and makes me feel a little less cheap than working point b., but again, come on).

i thusly love IM flirtations. and well-written emails. and yes, even well-written personal ads.

[aside: the date i had on saturday was with a guy who had an exceptionally well-written personal ad. and the date was quite lovely. and you are SO not getting more details.]

but the reason i bring any of this up is because i am crazy (tra la la) and have this huge enormous crush on some guy i've never met or seen or talked to or IMed with or anything. because when you are in a pseudo-relationship with a TheBoy (which i was when this started) you need diversions. and so there is this guy who writes an industry column a couple times a week. and i get these articles emailed to me (see? i do do work things sometimes, like stay abreast of industry happenings), and i read them and love them and then one day it occurred to me -- duh -- that the guy writing them must be:

• youngish
• single
• gorgeous
• waiting his whole life to meet me

(what? oh whatever. reality, schmeality.)

so what do i do? how does one play this? how do you casually, coolly explain to the nice Article Writer Man that you should totally be dating?

well, i'll tell you what i did. i turned on the e-sluttitude and sent him some feedback. and he replied. and i'm sure that his two sentence emails will evolve over time since of course he has to play it nonchalantly to start. but i'll bet he's already completely smitten. i mean, who could resist a hot phrase like, "i liked your article today."

oh yeah. he's so totally going to fall for me. uh huh.

i'll keep you posted.