Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Internet Dating, Revisited

just so we're straight about this, i'm a bit of an e-slut.

but now before you have visions of me in some dark, virtual dungeon or engaging in inappropriate, one-handed IM conversations, that is totally not what i mean (and who would ever do something like that anyway?) (don't give me that look.).

what i mean is, i am aware that my two greatest seductive assets are:

a. my ability to sound somewhat charming (kinda) in the e-world, namely through writing. (because i do not sound charming in the real world. in the real world i stammer and say "um" a LOT and am really, really bad at filters a la having things like, "hey you're cute, are you smart?" and "do you think you're going to call me?" fall out of my mouth.); and

b. having big boobs. (look, i don't make the rules and i didn't choose this body type, god knows. but i have it, so come on.)

and so working point a. brings me great joy (and makes me feel a little less cheap than working point b., but again, come on).

i thusly love IM flirtations. and well-written emails. and yes, even well-written personal ads.

[aside: the date i had on saturday was with a guy who had an exceptionally well-written personal ad. and the date was quite lovely. and you are SO not getting more details.]
but the reason i bring any of this up is because i am crazy (tra la la) and have this huge enormous crush on some guy i've never met or seen or talked to or IMed with or anything. because when you are in a pseudo-relationship with a TheBoy (which i was when this started) you need diversions. and so there is this guy who writes an industry column a couple times a week. and i get these articles emailed to me (see? i do do work things sometimes, like stay abreast of industry happenings), and i read them and love them and then one day it occurred to me -- duh -- that the guy writing them must be:
  • youngish
  • single
  • gorgeous
  • waiting his whole life to meet me

(what? oh whatever. reality, schmeality.)

so what do i do? how does one play this? how do you casually, coolly explain to the nice Article Writer Man that you should totally be dating?

well, i'll tell you what i did. i turned on the e-sluttitude and sent him some feedback. and he replied. and i'm sure that his two sentence emails will evolve over time since of course he has to play it nonchalantly to start. but i'll bet he's already completely smitten. i mean, who could resist a hot phrase like, "i liked your article today."

oh yeah. he's so totally going to fall for me. uh huh.

i'll keep you posted.



11 comments:

  1. Ummm, do you mind if I put a link to your blog on mine? I just read about the boxed wine, I nearly peed my pants laughing! Good stuff, makes my workday brighter!

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  2. hi callie!

    thanks -- please feel free to connect to/with me in any way! beautiful photo, btw.

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  3. makes perfect sense to me! couldn't be clearer.

    -el snarkster

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  4. You are one of my new favorite bloggers that I have found, good lord you are funny.

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  5. You are my favorite, too. I like you more than I like myself! Just found you recently.

    Doesn't everyone get a crush on internet people? Whenever I've conversed with a guy online I assume that he is the best looking, incredibly intelligent, funny like nobody's business, and wealthy. Not to mention the fact that I am irresistable to him!

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  6. I have so totally been there. You make me smile and brighten my blogroll! Thanks again! E

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  7. I did the exact same thing with a guy where I used to work. He worked for a different company we contracted with. In my mind, he was gorgeous, single, and completely in love with me. When we talked I tried everything to get out his marital status, eg. "What are you doing for the holidays?" with the answer "Oh, you know, the family thing." Ugh! I'm definitely gonna keep reading your blog!

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  8. Hey E-Slut, he's mine. Go away or die and leave my guy alone. -fec

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  9. I like you more than I like myself! Just found you recently.

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  10. I really like your topic! It's all about someone you like. I can really relate because I have a crush, it's almost a year since then. I really like him because he is so gentleman, sweet and very caring but sad to say were just friends because he has already a girlfriend. Well it's fine for me though were just friends because I still have the chance to care for him too. I just hoping for his happiness and I hope that his girlfriend will not hurt her.
    Thanks for the beautiful insights you've shared! Looking forward to your other blogs.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this is one of the best article and your one of the best blogger.

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