Thursday, May 19, 2005

Public Service Announcement

and speaking of why i sometimes long for baggy clothes, we need to explore a situation that has fallen under the radar for far, far too long.

naturally i mean low-rise pants.

now look. i think low-rise pants can be stunningly sexy on the right body. i believe they help "celebrate" women's curves in a lovely way. yes, yes i do.

know what i mean?

(and in case you were wondering, of *course* i have illustrations for this; yes, i used photoshop for these; and no, i didn't even try to create arms because they are too hard. plus some of the arrows don't go all the way where they should. but you should expect this sort of thing by now.)



however.

there are lots and lots and LOTS of women out here who do not have bodies that easily lend themselves to the low-rise phenomenon. and this is why i believe it would be beneficial for designers and retailers to maybe consider carrying lines of pants that have waists where, you know, waists actually are.

otherwise, women who are not maybe so well designed for the low-rise (and requisite fitted tops) are forced to subject themselves to -- frankly -- rather unflattering fashion selections. uh, not that i have any first-hand knowledge, i'm simply making a point.

like so:

38 comments:

  1. OMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! Hysterical!!! Completely SOOOOO true. Love you!!!!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHHA The out-turned pockets!! bwwwahahahahaaa

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  2. I've always said "just because you can zipper it, doesn't mean you should wear it" I have not been able to get my thunder thighs in a pair of pants in months. I have a closet full of lovely size 8 pants (I even have a size 4 - for the week that I actually was that size) - But nooooo.... my body absolutely insists on being between a 10-12 and I'm just about to give up and live in muumuus.

    Kristy, I feel ya when ya talk about that damn scale!

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  3. Its not what you wear...its about your attitude while you wear it. If you think youre sexy, we guys do too.

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  4. HA!!! HA! So very funny and true, I totally feel ya. The whole ultra low-rise phenomenon is kinda on the way out, hopefully. It is hard to hide my belly and requisite back-fat created by said low-rise pants when sitting on a bar stool. And then remember to tuck your pockets in best as possible when you head towards the loo.

    I am so very thankful for this season's longer tunic lenght shirts being popular, at least I don't have to worry about tugging on the bottom of my shirt every 2 minutes, to make sure my butt clevage (not sexy by the way) is not escaping from my low-rise pants for all the world to see!

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  5. I was buying a pair of jeans at Lucky Brand the other day. The first pair miraculously fit me, so the salesgirl decided to go out on a limb and have me try on another pair. They were low-riders. I looked JUST LIKE your second illustration. There was a veritable Niagara Falls of flab hanging over the top of the jeans. It was so comical I almost took a picture, but decided against it.

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  6. What baffles me, really, is that Lane Bryant still packs in 2/3 of each store with low rise. They should know better! But, still. Some really fabulous normal-waist or just-slightly-slightly low-waist pants live in Lane Bryant.

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  7. I am overweight, but, I actually like the low-rise.
    For one thing, I am under 5 feet, so it means that my pant don't go to my armpits.
    Also, I have a (relatively) small waist and huge hips. The low-rise doesn't have that stupid gap in the back that most jeans have for me.
    Of course, let's now discuss the ridiculously high heels I have to wear to keep the pants from dragging. I can't get them shortened because then I would lose the bootcut effect that is supposed to make my hips look more balanced, or something like that.

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  8. But, isn't the real problem there clothes that do not fit?

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  9. brilliantly illustrated!
    and although I agree with tom, that confidence is sexy... it's definitely helped by clothes that you know look great!

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. My question is why can't they make those for men? I mean sure, I would probably look like pic 2 but hey! We have the right to look crappy too.

    Undr

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  12. I'm with you on this. And I can't find jeans that look decent and are where my waist is supposed to be.

    Clothes SUCK.

    Love the illustrations.

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  13. I usually haunt the stacks of jeans and racks of pants at Old Navy for their "at waist" or "just below waist" pants. As for Lane Bryant, those jeans that they call low-rise are not that low-rise. I have a pair, and they cover every inch of my undies and don't cause much bulge.

    I do hate bulge-y pockets too.

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  14. They actually DO make low rise jeans for men. I actually prefer them because I am not that tall. But I also have an amazing washboard stomach - JUST KIDDING. I don't think I mind low rise jeans as long as:

    a) they fit (if your stomach rollith over, get 2 sizes up)
    b) your ass crack isnt trying to escape
    c) you wear a shirt that also fits

    I love that K showed the pocket strains... so true!

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  15. Absolutely right on, Kristy! More evidence that our society has gone insane. The anonymous poster who has given up and will wear muumuus because she's a size 12?? What is that all about?

    Here's a thought: go to a museum, or if you can't, look on line. The sexiest, most beautiful woman I ever knew was shaped like a Degas sculpture...small breasts, large hips: CURVES!

    ~Kurt

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  16. Only YOU can get people seriously talking about low-rise jeans and straining at the pockets.

    J.

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  17. Death to all low rise pants. I'm so sick of seeing a)anorexic hip bones b) flagrant "muffin tops" and c)thong straps. People, it's over. O-V-E-R. Mourn it and move on to the next silly trend.

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  18. Oh YES! This has been a peeve of mine for quite some time now. Just because you CAN squeeze into a size 6, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

    What these ladies don't quite understand is: if they actually wore their correct size they'd actually look way slimmer. The chub roll hanging over the top of the pants doesn't not invoke impressions of sveltness (is that a real word?)

    The only worse thing is when the tight top doesn't meet the top of the low rise pants and 6 inches of blubber is actually out in the open, staring you int he face. There's no avoiding it at that point.

    I don't make you look at my fat....so don't make me look at yours!

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  19. Kristy, I'm so with you, the low-rise pants are definitely not for everyone. And the embarrassing girl love handle spillover and ass cleavage are doing neither the wearer nor the general public any good. Have some common sense when getting dressed, and spare us all.

    I Love you Lane Bryant!

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  20. Oooooo - I saw a woman about 65 years old at the grocery story wearing a skin-tight knit shirt and her rolls AROUND THE BACK looked exactly like this. I buy stuff one size too large, don't need to gross out the public.

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  21. low rise, shmo rise.......what ever happened to pants that just fit well, looked semi-decent, and didn't cause all of us to second guess ourselves? Phooey on the designers that are forever gearing fashion to the young and anorexic....I say down with the low rise (no pun intended):)

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  22. speaking of eating disorders, has anyone seen the US Weekly w/ Nicole Richie and Lindsey Lohan? Even low rise jeans would slide off of these two...someone throw these girls a Carls Jr Burger PRONTO!

    And why are women over 50 wearing clothes that are for 18 year olds? Is 50 the new 20? Hmmmm...

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  23. Um - low rise - CLEARLY not made for a big ass. I bought a pair of them (silly me) and they look like I couldn't pull them up any farther, instead of looking sexy and slimming.

    damn Seven - why did they start this trend?

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  24. Yes, Jay! I saw that picture of Nicole Richey. Yes...throw her a burger! She isn't looking so good anymore.

    As for the low-rise. I have some, but I also have a pooch that hangith over the front a bit. And I decided that on a good day, I just try to remember to suck it in and then most days I "just walk around with it". But at least there isn't anyone out there who is dying to throw me a burger! Right?

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  25. Because at 50.. you are finally free enough and have enough money to buy the things you can't really afford at 20. And besides.. dressing like that will 1) gross people out.. 2) attract the REALLY horny guys. Besides.. Eva Longori, Jessica Alba and Kristy at 50.. huba huba!

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  26. i see you deleted a comment and now i'm wondering what anyone could have possibly said to provoke you to such action??

    hrmmm...

    of course, i'm old enough to recognize the whole striped-pants fad as one previously endured during my youth, say uhm...late 60's-early 70's?

    ok, so i dated myself just now. and for those curious to know, it went well *smirk*

    how would you date yourself, misskristy?

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  27. OMG>>>>I am dying from laughter here, Kristy!
    I have long said that most current fashion trends and of course anything made with SPANDEX should come with a weight maximum, like an elevator does!
    Scary stuff, man!

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  28. OMG. LMAO. I have booty issues of J.Lo proportions and have been cursing the low rise phenom since it's inception. What happened to just a decent fitting pair of pants? I hate shopping for pants.

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  29. i'd like to add one more thing to the low-rise discussion: drawstrings! just what i need, a bow or a knot tied just at the part of my body i don't want to draw attention to.

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  30. Lets all move to Venezuela! I heard Isabel Allende speak a couple of days ago, and she had one amazing comment. (Quote completely mangled by my memory) "In Chile, if you have a big ass, you don't ever wear pants. If you have large breasts, you wear baggy shirts.
    In Venezuela, if you have breasts, you put them out there like a pair of melons. If you have an ass, you wear tight pink spandex pants."

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  31. seriously! ok, i've always had this problem with pants. i mean, the low rise era started probably about the time i was in high school, and even then i had the rolls over my pants. but, before that it was the super baggy pant time, and that wasn't the best either. i mean, the legs of some of my friends pants could have clothed a small village in africa. happy medium anyone?

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  32. Personally, I'm grateful for low-rise pants. They're the perfect solution when your waist is four sizes smaller than your hips. The problem isn't that the pants are too low-- the problem is that the tops are too short! We need longer tops, and I'm not talking about those low cut, Empire waist, baby-doll hippie-dippy glittery fringey things they sell at Forever 21. Why can't someone just make regular tops that come to the hip bone? Is that too much to ask, Gap Designers?

    And now-- can we talk about Capri pants? They're everywhere and they are the enemy of women with hips.
    What are *we* supposed to wear in the summer? And don't say "shorts"!

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  33. faville,

    did you know i used you as the basis for the "good" low-rise drawing? i did!

    as for capris, they are disastrous on most body types...especially on those of us who are short!

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  34. I'm a chubby girl who loves low rise pants - like some of the other girls here, most of my chub is in my hips, not my waist, so pants that come up to my waist are always too tight in the hips and too loose in the waist - also not a sexy look! I like the way low rise pants feel because they seem to move with my body more comfortably. But I have a firm rule never to buy my low-rise pants tight, and I always wear them with hip-length tops (which I agree are damned hard to find). I think the real issue with low rise pants is that it seems at least 50% of the women in this country are in serious denial about what size they actually wear. Ladies, once and for all, if you have to strain to zip it up, if it's digging into you, if you're miserably uncomfortable in it - it doesn't fit! The bottom line is, no one but you can see the size label inside your clothes. No one is looking at you and thinking, "Those pants fit her like sausage casing - but they're a size six, so she looks great!" Even a girl who's not overweight can look awful squeezed into pants that are way too small.

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  35. Please consider this a formal request for more pictures of you... pictures we can see all of you in, please. Naked would be nice.

    Remember, as Yoda said, "Cute naked, you are".

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  36. I have seen thousands of women wearing low pants, and short shirts. And I can only remember about 5 who actually looked good with the style. I have seen young girls with no fat on them what-so-ever and the style looks awful on them. So being thin is no guarentee.
    When I first saw this style come out, I noticed that women were showing lots of unattractive parts of their bodies and I thought 1] woman have finally gotten used to their bodies and are not going to worry about it anymore or 2] woman are slaves to fashion.
    After a while I realized that woman are slaves to fashion. They will wear what ever is in style reguadless if it makes them look good or not.

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  37. ah crap, I've just realized that I'm that person squeezing herself into size 6 low rise capris becuase "technically" they fit (even it it's my waist and not my hips they're fitting around) and I always tell myself that even though, yes, the pockets pooch out, if I got hit by Muni, the paramedics would know that I wear size 6. Yes I'm serious.

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  38. You know, when you open a "can" of biscuits, and the dough pops out of the can......

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