so of course, adorable bus-riding CutieCute has not been seen since i posted about him like, a hundred years ago.
(i find this highly suspicious. perhaps the cosmos decided to give me a break by not being in the CoffeeGirl's shower, in exchange for removing CutieCute from my morning commute? hmm.)
but see, here's the real problem. it's not that i really suspected things would work out between CutieCute and me (our kids would have been so adorable, seriously) but thinking about what i would say to him or how i would approach him or what he should say to me should he approach me is a very nice distraction from the otherwise general unpleasantness that is my morning commute.
because people are not so pleasant on the bus in the morning, you know?
and since my iPod ear buds have completely fallen apart and i keep forgetting to get new ones, and since i have finally given up knitting anything that requires counting on the bus, i need new distractions. and let me tell you, i am just crazy enough to let one CutieCute fill up my mind's ENTIRE narrative for my ENTIRE commute.
i sure am.
take Monday for example. a solid 17 minutes of inner discourse went something like:
"i wonder what time i got on the bus. is this the bus i'm usually on? how late was i running? is this CutieCute's bus or isn't it? i'm NOT looking for him. huh uh. nope. who knows if he even TAKES the bus anymore. maybe he drives to work all fancy-like now. i wonder what he does. i seriously think he's a lawyer. a lawyer with a car. but where would he park? there is no parking in this city...
"i hate sitting back here. there are no available seats here if he were to get on NOT that i even care if he does (well i CARE but it's not a BIG DEAL) but you know, just in case he does get on the bus today he isn't going to come all the way back here which means i should move up front so that he would have to walk past me and then i could at least say hi. i think at this point we can say hi to each other, right? yeah, i think that would be fine. we are definitely at the 'hi' stage. but i can't just get up and move to the front of the bus for no discernible reason. that would be crazy. what would people think?
"do i really care what bus people think?
"okay we are at his stop. i am certainly NOT LOOKING to see if he's getting on. i'm just looking to see who is getting on the bus in general. sure. see how normal i seem?
"oh whatever, who am i kidding? i am SO looking. i can't see anything around these masses. okay, i have to stop looking like i'm looking, because if i make eye contact with him while i'm busy craning my neck trying to see him, that might be a little hard to play off.
"'nothing to see here, folks, i'm just wondering what's outside the windows. see? i look to the front of the bus, tra la la, and i look around to the back of the bus because i am just a normal bus-riding girl who looks around and...'"
when i turned to pretend like i cared who was sitting behind me, my line of sight ran smack-dab into some random HottieHot guy who was STARING at me and SMILING. AT ME.
and so while on a normal day i could have continued to obsess over the non-existence of CutieCute, monday's thoughts were suddenly shot into high gear. in a Girl-Stupid way.
"ohmygodohmygod he was looking at you and smiling. he smiled at you. who is that guy? did you even see what he looked like? why did you immediately turn away? why do you ALWAYS immediately turn away? wasn't he super hot?
"maybe it wasn't you he was looking at.
"maybe he was looking at the girl on your right. just because she's asleep does not mean she isn't cute. she's certainly cuter than the old burping chinese man on your left.
"maybe he wasn't smiling at you, either. maybe he was just smiling because um, he likes the bus. a LOT.
"you're going to have to look at him. you are going to have to look briefly to find out just how hot he is and if he really was looking at you. okay, now.
"GAH GAH GAH! SMILE, YOU DOOF! you are looking at him and he is looking DIRECTLY AT YOU so get your smile on RIGHT NOW.
"there, geez. good job. now, look away, nonchalant. good, good. you have established slight interest.
"do not let your face go all red! that is SO NOT COOL! don't think about him. you are casual. you are on your way to work. you are NOT blushing.
"you are blushing.
"turn away completely. he cannot see you blushing. kristy for god's sake you are on the BUS. MUNI. blushing on muni is not okay. sigh. you are such a dork."
and so it was, for another good 10 minutes, that i played the don't-look-at-him-too-much (crazy) / don't-ignore-him (he'll think you're not interested) game. i casually checked out things like his jean cuffs and shoes (not making eye contact) and decided that he's definitely not the lawyer-ly type and more the construction-worker type, and that was just fine because he was HOT and in case you missed it the first ninety times, he was SMILING AT ME.
so i am going to conclude this lunatic-like rant of the most ridiculous proportions by saying that i now know it is possible to sort of meet someone on the bus:
just before HottieHot reached his stop, he got up, stopped in front of me and said, "hi there."
yep, he did.
to which i, with my head still racing and my blush still flushing and my try-not-to-look-like-the-lunatic-you-are smile on, replied, "hi."
and then he offered his hand and said, "i'm michael."
whereupon my stomach flipped (omgHOT) and i kinda squeaked out, "i'm kristy."
and having no idea what to do next ("uh, come here often?") we just sort of muttered a couple chit-chatty things and then he said to have a good day as he got off the bus.
and then i spent the remaining five minutes on the bus wondering if there'd be a Part Two to this story...