and i'll tell you.
i would get Girl-Stupid, and he would show his Boy-Stupidity, and that would be the end of THAT.
::me, getting on a very empty bus, twenty minutes earlier than usual::
"there are like 7 people on this bus. is it always this empty at this time? didn't i used to be on this early all the time? when did i change times? i need to be more career-minded and go-getter-y and stuff. i should be on this early bus all the time and get to work early all the time. like a real career person."
*bopping along to iPod*
"i don't recognize any of these people, either. who rides this early bus?"
"omgomgomg. that's him. right? that's him? sitting in the back again, where he was before? your HottieHot 'hi, i'm michael'??? did he see you? why aren't you wearing eye makeup today? and why are you wearing your tired fleece jacket? you are in NO shape to be meeting hotties on the bus, girl. no shape at all. he might not even recognize you. you should ignore him and wait till some other morning when you don't look like this.
"wait NO. your imaginary internet friends deserve better than that. they will get mad at you if you just sit there and don't do anything. you should do something. look at him and smile, and make yourself approachable. take off your broken-ass earbuds and put the iPod away and look pleasing. don't look too happy though, or you'll look crazy.
"okay, look at him NOW. good.
"wtf? he saw you. he didn't even acknowledge you. what is that? (did he get a haircut?) why did he not acknowledge you. maybe you really do look a lot crappier than you did that other day. but come on, you don't look THAT different. do you? maybe it was a big mistake the other day. maybe it was just a fluke that one morning and he doesn't even remember. hey, you're not even sure it's really the same guy even.
"it's totally the same guy because he is in the same sweatshirt and look, check out his shoes. you spent way too much time staring at his shoes the other day, you know you'll recognize them.
"damn, can't see them from here.
"wait, is that him getting up? this is like, nowhere near where he got off the other day. try and see if you can catch his eye now that he's near the door. one more glance/smile should do it.
"NOTHING. he must think you're a lunatic. (haircut looks great.) crazy bus girl smiling at him, clearly trying to get his attention. and there he goes, off the bus and HOLD THE PHONE.
"is that woman getting off the bus WITH him? they were sitting together and now they are talking and getting off the bus togeth--
"look at them on the sidewalk together. that is no bus acquaintance. she is TOTALLY his girlfriend."
and that concludes our exciting story of how and why i will not be dating the guy on the bus who seems a whole lot less HottieHot than he once did.