Turns Out, I'm Not THAT Slutty

so you know, i have a new favorite phrase.

it's called, "making out."

shutup, shutup. i know you've heard it before, but you don't understand. it is the best phrase ever when you know how to use it.

see, an anonymous friend of mine learned this recently, sort of the hard way.

***
kate: oh yeah, hey! how did that date go with that guy?

anonymous friend of mine: oh, that guy? the one i had all those long conversations with? from craigslist?

kate: yeah. weren't you supposed to meet him this weekend?

afom: oh, yeah. i was. we did. he was really cute.

kate: oh cool. so you had a good time? what did you do?

afom: we met for drinks at a cute neighborhood place. we talked for a long time. and then um, well, he came back to my place...

kate: really? did you make out?

afom: yeah...

kate: that's awesome!

afom, a bit sheepishly: actually kate, um, well...i hadn't planned on it, but we sort of had sex. which i know i should never do on the first date, but...

kate: kristy anonymous, don't worry about it! that's making out, too.

afom: it is?

kate: it is to me. my friends and i just say "make out" and just leave it at that. it covers all the bases and keeps it totally vague.

afom: so if anyone asks i can just say he came back to my place and we made out?

kate: absolutely.
***

isn't that SO GOOD to know?

see, i (and my anonymous friends) are always learning new and cool things, and so i'm grateful to have people like MakeOut Kate around to teach me.

in fact, did you know that MakeOut Kate is a paragon of culture?

she is.

because if she weren't, she would not have been featured in the San Francisco Chronicle.

kate, on the phone with her mother: hey, mom! guess what!

kate's mom: what?

kate: i got my picture in the paper! in the Chronicle!

kate's mom: that's great! for what?

kate: oh. well, um. for buying beer!

kate's mom: good for you!

of course, little did her mother know that the picture was taken because she is RUINING OUR CITY. more on this above.