Thursday, June 30, 2005

Turns Out, I'm Not THAT Slutty

so you know, i have a new favorite phrase.

it's called, "making out."

shutup, shutup. i know you've heard it before, but you don't understand. it is the best phrase ever when you know how to use it.

see, an anonymous friend of mine learned this recently, sort of the hard way.

***
kate: oh yeah, hey! how did that date go with that guy?

anonymous friend of mine: oh, that guy? the one i had all those long conversations with? from craigslist?

kate: yeah. weren't you supposed to meet him this weekend?

afom: oh, yeah. i was. we did. he was really cute.

kate: oh cool. so you had a good time? what did you do?

afom: we met for drinks at a cute neighborhood place. we talked for a long time. and then um, well, he came back to my place...

kate: really? did you make out?

afom: yeah...

kate: that's awesome!

afom, a bit sheepishly: actually kate, um, well...i hadn't planned on it, but we sort of had sex. which i know i should never do on the first date, but...

kate: kristy anonymous, don't worry about it! that's making out, too.

afom: it is?

kate: it is to me. my friends and i just say "make out" and just leave it at that. it covers all the bases and keeps it totally vague.

afom: so if anyone asks i can just say he came back to my place and we made out?

kate: absolutely.
***

isn't that SO GOOD to know?

see, i (and my anonymous friends) are always learning new and cool things, and so i'm grateful to have people like MakeOut Kate around to teach me.

in fact, did you know that MakeOut Kate is a paragon of culture?

she is.

because if she weren't, she would not have been featured in the San Francisco Chronicle.

kate, on the phone with her mother: hey, mom! guess what!

kate's mom: what?

kate: i got my picture in the paper! in the Chronicle!

kate's mom: that's great! for what?

kate: oh. well, um. for buying beer!

kate's mom: good for you!

of course, little did her mother know that the picture was taken because she is RUINING OUR CITY. more on this above.

13 comments:

  1. "sort of" had sex?
    I don't know what that means.
    When you turn 30, you can't do that anymore.
    I'm glad you got a last one to remember.
    (Hi, Dad!)

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  2. You had sex with a guy you met on Craiglist on the first date. AND THEN you blogged about it??

    You are definitely my hero. I won't tell anyone promise.

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  3. You can always "yada yada yada" it - (Seinfeld)

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  4. Making out....hmmm, I think I will use that one next time...thanks for the tip!!!

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  5. Kristy- You rock! I love your blog and always wait with baited breath for the next installment.

    As far as making out goes, MakeOut Kate is right. I've been known to use the term occasionally.

    Cheers!

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  6. You are so brave kristy. Like what jake said. Bravo! I love your blog. It's like gossip but better 'cause it comes straight from the horse's (or feisty filly's) mouth.

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  7. Turns Out, I'm Not THAT Slutty

    You're not? ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN BELIEVE IN ANYMORE?!

    My life is now nothing but a fog of existential doubt.

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  8. Kristy! You naughty girl you! Hope it was good! Are you going to "makeout" with him again?

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  9. Kristy,
    I am sooooo going to use the "make-out" deal! Thank MakeoutKate for me! -e

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  10. That is so awesome. I have been trying to talk my friends into the fact that I was not a slut and "comfortable in my sexuality" was not cutting it anymore! Maybe this will work...

    Joney

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  11. Uh. Was that the "20 most romantic minutes" you blogged about before, because dude, 20 MINUTES? You need a do-over. Demand more! ;)

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  12. K, you're the best. May your "makin'out" always be plentiful.

    And ditto to Jake.

    Loving the blog, as always,
    Christine

    ps-you're completely right on the cuteness of Jake.

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