I Am Guilty And Clumsy

because i am clumsy and because things happen to me like minor head injuries (i'm not kidding. hi, breezy elegance!) i am not really feeling very well. or prolific.

but i feel guilty when i don't write.

so i will just say that i have many, many entries in the works, including:
  • sound advice from a drunk man from hoboken
  • sure, it's "calmative"...until you knock yourself unconscious - with diagrams!
  • three of the most startingly male things ever uttered to me
  • "he's just not that into you," translated, apparently means "he's just not that into YOU, KRISTY" (we are happy for the clarification)
  • the ribbed cap is on it's fourth-and-final attempt
  • the seasonal weight-o-meter
  • a special father-daughter tale*
  • wanna come to my birthday party? - complete with a special, uncensored picture!
i hope you Imaginary Internet Friends will check back soon! i have to go take more advil now.

*do you kids know that the comments left by "dad" are, actually, left by my father? how great is that!?!?


  1. Killer. Dad's are great! You sound sexy! With all due respect.

  2. Having lived in Hoboken, I can tell you that any advice from men there is very suspect. :)

  3. Lol! Seriously, I think my friends live for my mishaps! My pain is their pleasure. One of my favorite is giving myself a concussion because I wore flip-flops to walk my dog (at 11pm no less) and to save my just finished home pedicure....and I tripped over nothing and fell full out on the concrete sidewalk....not on my knees...which would've saved my head, but not my new jeans....but flat on my stomach and hard enough to give me...as I said...a concussion. There is also the one where I fell into a vat (vat!) of slippers for tourists to wear in a castle in Romania...in front of 30 non-smiling, non-laughing Romanians and one hysterical friend who could not stop laughing. Through the whole hour long tour of the castle.

    I feel your pain. Literally.

  4. Hey Kristy,
    All joking aside, I hope you are ok. Do you need anything? If you do, let me know.

  5. My grandma likes to knit things. She hangs out every day at the yarn store. In Wisconsin.

    I want to hear about the "most startingly male things ever uttered". I hope it wasn't by me...

  6. Taral is cute! I love the image of struggling in a vat of slippers in Romania, of all places :)

    *commiserates in klutziness*

  7. I hope you are home nursing your head injury with a bottle of wine and not stuck at work! And let's just skip the whole weight-o-meter cause I weighed today and it was NOT pretty. sigh.

  8. Poor you! Hope you're taking care of it with loads of advil and bedrest. Klutzy is the new graceful!

  9. Hey, take a day off already. Why the heck are you feeling guilty? We love you....whether you make our days full of laughter, or not..wait, I am not helping, am I? Well, I am looking forward to future posts...I will be watching...that is sorta creepy. Imaginary friends waiting for you to write aren't creepy, are they? If they are, I might be creepy then. Not sure. Have a great day!!!

  10. Guilt is good. Your IIFs like it when you feel guilty for not writing to us.

    Hi, seriously, I am addicted. I'm not a scary stalker though, just a girl who is frequently bored at work.

  11. i am also not scary, but i definitely stalk you, laurie, and the fuggers!! guilt is good if it keeps you posting!

  12. Hah, I am waiting with bated breath for more diagrams! Though I agree with Lori . . . we'll forgive you if you take a day off, especially if we're only imaginary.

  13. thanks riseyp! i forgot to mention i went into the vat of slippers head first. and consequently due to my own embarrassment grabbed the first pair my hands hit and spent the rest of the tour with men's size twelve slippers...also adding to my friends uncontrolled laughter.

  14. I know love jake. for he mentioned wisconsin. and everyone knows that wisconsin the best.

  15. I have to say that I do get a little sad when you don't post. But I will totally accept your minor head injury as an excuse. I often fail at breezy elegance as well.

  16. My best friend gave herself a concussion DOING LAUNDRY. I kid you not. Ended up in the ER. (Of course she also hurt her foot falling off a flat shoe.) (Really.)

    Lesson learned? Laundry is DANGEROUS. Stay away....

  17. Dear Kristy,

    Oh you poor baby. You take care of yourself and while I love reading your posts (and the responses!) I can wait. Anticipation. Take care of yourself. Another IIF.

  18. I think it is awesome that your dad reads your blog. You are funny and you tell us all SORTS of things about your life, and yet your blog is parent-friendly. Dude, really, that is so awesome.

    My dad would have a stroke if he ever read my blog.

  19. Wisconsin Rocks! Except for the winter. That would be why I don't live there anymore.

    I am also waiting with baited breath for these fabu sounding entries. LOVE the blog if I haven't said it a million times already :)

  20. I can't help but point out here that we are waiting with BATED breath. Out breath is NOT FISHY. No. it. is. not. Um unless you are um.. nevermind. but please people .. I have like one pet peeve and "baited breath" is it. What is your breath trying to catch?

  21. K-
    Take care of that head of yours, your IIF understand. Afterall without it, we would be without your humor altogether!

    And unfortunately I empathize with the clumsiness leading to head injury thing. I actually knocked myself unconscious stepping into the shower less than a year after a broomball incident, both of which left me with black eyes and concussions. The doctors were seriously convinced I was abused... maybe, but only by my own clumsiness.

    Hope your head feels better soon!

  22. i too am concerned about your health and wish you a speedy recovery. however, posting what you're going to post really makes you a horrible tease. how am i supposed to sleep tonight without knowing whatever could be contained in an uncensored birthday party picture?

    dear lord, you are a drug and i'm stuck.
    i hate loving you,
    -not a stalker.

  23. Awww!

    The family that blogs together uh.. well I don't know. But I thinks it's swell. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for your posts.



    Make sure you watch your head. oops! sorry too late.

  24. I'm a dad...I do not want to read ANYTHING my daughter would blog. I would rather pay her therapy bill.

  25. I agree with Lisa, Laundry is a dangerous, dangerous activity. I broke 3 of the tiny bones in my foot and got 5 staples in my head while doing laundry. On the upside, the ER doctor was cute and funny. Too bad I was in the doing laundry outfit and hadn't showered yet that day...

    My friends are not surprised at any injuries I incur anymore. I broke my ankle at a Superbowl party, dislocated my knee the same day I was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding...shall I go on...

  26. Hi, Kristy,

    I thought of you and your breezy elegance today and decided to look up a few drinking quotes to cheer you through your head injury. (Is this an actual head injury, or just the football-head feeling after a night of clinking too many glasses together? Either way ... sympathies!)

    Here goes:

    "One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough." James Thurber

    "The whole world is about three drinks behind." Humphrey Bogart

    "Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"
    Robert Benchley - The Major and the Minor

  27. here are some hugs....

    ((((kristy's head))))

  28. Sorry about your headache Kristy...Hopefully it's not the cocktail flu....Feel better quickly please.

  29. Feel better - I miss your posts. And some food for thought......How does one consume only 1500 calories a day, go for a 3 mile hike and still gain 4 pounds..in ONE day???? I give up! Somebody hand me a Cadbury!

  30. Hey--you want clumsy? I broke my ankle falling off of my shoes. Silly, hunh?

  31. Reading your blog and other comments as inspired me to tell a little story about myself:

    I once scratched my cornea so badly that my vision was blurred for a week while it tried to recover (I was told eyes are the fastest healing part of our bodies). How did I hurt my eye? Blowing up a balloon.

    I love reading you blog Kristy, it brings a smile to my face on an otherwise boring day.


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