sometimes i get emails from imaginary internet friends and they are nice and sweet and supportive.
sometimes i get emails from imaginary internet friends that are not as nice or sweet, but they are usually supportive in their own way.
sometimes i get emails from men who are smart and interesting and attractive but are geographically challenged, maritally challenged, or both.
i hold out hope, though, that maybe someday the Perfect Guy will find my blog and write me or IM me and it will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. you know? because really, i am nothing if not optimistic.
and so when this evening i received an IM from a mystery man, i thought -- maybe this could be the Perfect Guy.
here is a transcript of our conversation.
it is completely unedited except for the guy's IM name. the italics are my inner-yippety-yap:
randomguy: i like your blog
kristy: thank you
[i look and confirm that he is IMing me at my dedicated blog-IM address in my profile.]
hmmm. okay. here's someone contacting me to chat because he(?) likes my blog. taking intiative. flattering. this could be good.
randomguy: i am in fremont
kristy: those are both good things to know
well, at least i now know you read and you read my blog and you were interested enough to check my profile and to send me an IM. and you're local, as opposed to living on a different continent. so far, so good.
randomguy: can i ask u any questions..and u can ask me anything
uh oh. using "u" for "you" is often a red flag. plus we have some syntactical stuff going on here with the "can i ask u / and u can". but maybe he's smart and just cutting to the chase.
kristy: you can ask me questions, sure
yeah, maybe he has a serious question to ask me about my content or approach or something.
randomguy: cool...do u talk abiut sex on your blog?masturbation?
the "lol" slipped out there, but i had to laugh. because by "i like your blog" you are really saying "i haven't actually read your blog but i noticed you're female and in san francisco and have a readily available IM address."
that's charming. *sigh*
best be direct in my response.
"lol"? wonder what's funny about my saying no.
randomguy: ask me now
"ask you now" what? are you asking me to ask you if you blog about masturbation? or just about masturbation at large? because either way, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
randomguy: when did u last masturbate?
need to end this now.
kristy: see, here i thought we were going to engage in actual banter
randomguy: i am...i guess
randomguy: i guess i thought about it...because i havent for a while
what? what are you talking about? you thought you were engaging me in banter by bringing up masturbation three sentences in?
you are unbelievable.
also, this is not a good sign, kristy. this guy is trolling the internet looking for some woman to engage him in discussion about when he last masturbated, and for some reason he chose you.
you might want to consider that...
oops, took too long to reply. guess he thought you were ignoring him. ha!
how do i put this?
kristy: i'm not really interested in discussing masturbation with you
randomguy: k..havea nice evening
um. so maybe not the Perfect Guy.