Happy Father's Day

so my sister totally screwed me over this year as far as father's day gifts go, what with giving Dad a GRANDSON and all. (hey Dad, i know you have a new grandson and all and yes, his hands ARE quite big, uh huh i'm sure he COULD be a quarterback-- oh? or pitcher? yes, yes, a pitcher or right, yep even a pianist but um, what do you think of your new tie?)

and the thing is, it's not like i've been the easiest daughter to raise.

not that i was a bad kid or anything like that. no, see, i was difficult in other ways.

in particular, you know that yippity-yap thing? um, this is not new. i sort of developed a penchant for running off at the mouth early. like as soon as i could speak. (we have audio tapes confirming this and let me tell you, i would not want to have to have raised me.)

so my poor father has had to listen to me tell him everything he is doing or has done or will do wrong for a good 29 years now.

which is why i am taking this opportunity to highlight The One time my obnoxiously opinionated self turned out to actually benefit my dad:

after my mother passed away my dad eventually decided he was ready to begin dating. and my sisters and i understood.

in general.

in specific, it was a little harder for us to agree with his dating choices.

for example, the first woman Dad decided was well-suited for him was an old friend of his from high school. that was a fun phone conversation.

Dad: she's perfect for me.

me: really? that's...great.

Dad: well, you know, we have so much in common. we grew up together!

me: does she still live in connecticut?

Dad: no, not anymore. that is a bit of a problem.

me: oh? where does she live?

Dad: florida.

[note: my father lives in new hampshire.]

me: um...

Dad: but we can work that out.

right. Dad went on to explain that she is also a "health nut" who "doesn't drink" and believes in "spiritual healing." and i was trying to not be my usual sarcastic, snarky self, but couldn't help but point out that my father's diet consists mainly of cheeseburgers and bourbon and also he is not so much um, "spiritual." but he (understandably) didn't want to hear it.

and (also understandably), that relationship did not so much um, "work out."

then he put an ad up on Yahoo! personals.

which is when i had to make a deal with myself to shut my smartass, sarcastic, and opinionated self up and try and be supportive of my dad. and as he'd tell me about his dates, i was pretty darned good about not being obnoxious.

however, when "no, she doesn't really read...is a little bit younger than me...and has tattoos" came into play, i decided i had to do something.

and so rather than simply explain to Dad why he was wrong (see? i'm maturing) , i decided to just prove it (okay i'm totally not).

and i went online myself. (we know i have experience with this.) i started looking for someone i thought would be a good match. i perused for hours, and then found the woman who made the most sense to me. a woman who seemed cute and funny and smart.

and i emailed her, explaining who i was and why i was contacting her, and to please find it amusing and charming instead of weird and creepy.

she replied. she said that she thought it was sweet. and sure, i could give my dad her email address.

and then i had to call my dad and relay this to him.

me: hey, Dad.

Dad: hey.

me: um, so i know you are um, sort of seeing someone...

Dad, warily: yeah?

me: but i thought it might be sort of uh, fun, to ah, go online and see what kinds of women were using the personals i used to use. 'cuz you know, they ask about books and stuff like that.

Dad: uh huh...?

me: and i um, well there is this one woman whose ad i kinda liked.

Dad: yeah?

me: don't be mad.

Dad: what did you do?

me: i um, well...i sort of emailed her.


Dad: what did you say?

me: i just said lots of good things about you and that i was contacting her without you knowing about it because i liked her ad.

i did not add to the email the fact that i thought my father was hopeless in finding someone he was compatible with and that i clearly thought i knew better.

[more silence.]

Dad: and?

me: well, she emailed me back and said she thought that was sweet. and that she has kids my age. and that you should email her.

[silence. and then laughter.]

Dad: what's her email address?

so because my dad is brave and has a good sense of humor and probably didn't want to suffer the wrath of me hounding him (did you email her yet? did you email her yet? why haven't you emailed her yet?), he emailed her.

and now, wouldn't it be cool if i could say that then they met and dated and it all worked out and that they lived happily ever after?

well i can.

'cuz they are engaged.

[so okay, my opinions aren't always nice or kind or warranted or sought or good. but at least once my of-course-i-know-better obnoxious self wasn't entirely misguided. and right, sure, my story doesn't really have anything to do with father's day, but whatever. i'm competing with a GRANDSON fer crissakes...]


  1. What a great story. Keep it up.

  2. That is probably the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

  3. I love that story! And maybe you didn't give him a grandson, but you did give him a new love! Thanks for making my day!

  4. Oh Kristy.....Could you be any more delightful?
    I just burst into tears after reading that. Your Dad must love you something awful.

  5. interested in renting out your matchmaking services? because man, i suck at choosing men for myself.

  6. That is so sweet!
    I'm glad it worked out for your dad - - now, you do remind him of this from time to time, don't you?

  7. I love that story! Wish I could send it to my dad to read, but, but there are those links on your sidebar to consider...

  8. What a wonderful story! :) And I agree on the matchmaking. I seem to have a Loser Beacon up my arse.

  9. Wonderful story, Kristy!

    I'd love it if my daughters did something so sweet.

    No, they gave me a bar of martini-scented soap for Fathers' Day.

    ...so maybe indirectly...


  10. That is just the cutest thing. You're a great daughter!

  11. that is SO DANG SWEET!! and a great picture too!

  12. As a dad, if my wife passed away and my dauther, who knows better than I do myself, did that for me I would think it was the best father's day gift ever!

  13. You are a delight in so many ways! Had to jump in and comment because this story is so touching. Count me among your many IIFs and respectful fans. Your writing skills just blow me away - yes, you write with breezy elegance. Betcha a million that some publisher is going to snag you up and make you a best selling author. Then we can all say "we knew you when..."

  14. What a remarkable thing that it all worked out. Great story!

  15. They make movies about stories like that. That is a great story!

  16. hey- tell dad (and brian!) happy father's day for me!!

    -el snarkster

  17. Daughters always know best...

  18. Well done!!! That's awesome, but also major kudo's to dad for being brave and going for it too!

  19. Bravo k! Bravo!

  20. That was an awesome story. I was so prepared for, "And they wrote twice, but it didn't work out." Grandson, schmandson, you got him a girlie.

  21. I'm still weeping.
    You get to stay in the will now...

  22. and, Kristy if you're missing SF while you're away, some of those pics I told you about are finally posted.

  23. That's AWESOME!! It reminds me that when I met my boyfriend (who I recently moved in with), I was in Georgia, he was in Florida, and although my radius restrictions would've weeded him right out, he popped up on my "if you like this profile, you may also like. . ." page.

    So I emailed him and said, "You're probably not interested 'cause I'm in Georgia, but if you are, you can email me back, but if you don't, you really don't know what you're missing. . ." Ha ha! He really didn't know what he was GETTING INTO!! And the girl he was dating was right in the room when he checked it and he saw me for the first time when that girl (who I heard him tell someone was "as dumb as a box of rocks" at our party this weekend) was right there! And he dumped her ass and now he's MINE ALL MINE!!! Ahahahahahahahaha (evil laughter ensues).

  24. That is absolutely the sweetest story I have heard. Congratulations to your dad and his fiancee...and don't worry, grandson's are only fun until they start mouthing off like their snarky aunts.

  25. Christy-
    Ive been reading you blogs for a while. Sometimes I dont agree with what you say and sometimes I find myself laughing out loud with what you write because I relate all too well.

    Anyway think of it this way...you may not have given your dad a grandson for Fathers day but you gave him a loving companion who makes him happy...gee sounds bout equal to me!

    (The wannabe firefighter in SF)

  26. That was perfect! So what I needed! There is hope after all...

  27. that's so sweet! i've got to send this to a friend of mine so maybe she will be willing to actually look at ads i suggest to her!

  28. Kristy, that's the best father's day post ever.

  29. what a lovely story (and the best father's day gift next to a grandchild ever)

  30. That's genius. I'm going to start looking for a date for my mother online RIGHT NOW.
    Too bad we didn't know about this sooner, we could have hooked our parents up ala The Parent Trap-style.

  31. Kristy,

    That is totally awesome. Um, I've done some Internet dating myself and the whole tatoo thing hasn't worked for me much either...since my son is only 11, maybe you could step in and help a sister out??

    Just a thought.


  32. Holy crap, that's amazing! :) Liz

  33. Kristy, that's awesome. Thanks for sharing - I totally cried. (You know, in that good way!)

    And Yoda - martini-scented soap? Now THAT is a creative Father's Day gift! :)

  34. that is the best story EVER

  35. That's one of the most charming things I've read in a long time... and if you can write that well when you're on the road, living out of a suitcase, and distracted with an infant... well, I'm impressed.

  36. Man, my mother never listens when I try to set her up. I found the coolest guy who even thought she was wonderful and she wouldn't even consider it. I've got to learn to be a better nagger. :P

  37. What a cute story. I love it!

  38. What a lovely story! I also, come from a family that 'competes'.
    Until my mother started having strokes the past few years, we had a running joke between her and my half-sisters as to who was 'in' or 'out' of the will. Who got what, etc.
    We STILL compete for who gets who the best birthday/holiday cards.. but YOUR story blows mine out of the water!
    Keep it up.

  39. That was the cutest story ever! And I know what you mean about competing with the kids! I used to be it! I was the first born and the first granchild - let me tell you that was a lucarative position! Well those days are over now and my mom & dad are grandparents...well you know how it is! But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! My nieces are the best and I love them to pieces!

    And the world needs more people like you! You are great and there are many people who agree with me!

  40. Wow - what a swell story. Thanks for sharing.

  41. i never knew that! that's awesome.

  42. I meant to comment on this a week ago. This reminds me of my dad's story, but the similarities sort of start with Mom's death and end with his remarriage 6 years later. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. But they were so cute, and he called up each one of us (5) and more or less asked permission. So it still reminds me of his story. Still alive, btw, in case that's unclear.

    Good job! One-in-a-million story. And so are you.

  43. Hmm. How come when I write about trying to find a date for my Dad on my blog, my friends think its creepy and that I should proceed immediately back to therapy, do not pass Go. Well, some people understand, you just want your parents to be happy. And when they're with someone you worry a little less.

  44. That's such a cute picture. And you should tell your dad (if he's still on that whole sexy thing, although probably not considering it's been a year since that post) that he is, in fact, sexy. (Noticed in a non-creepy way by an eighteen year old who has no interest whatsoever in stealing him from lovely Jane.)

    (And don't tell him this part, but he's what my friends and I would refer to as "Old Hot." Like Harrison Ford or Clint Eastwood or perhaps George Clooney. Yes. I'm done talking now.)


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