You Be The Shampoo

i talk to myself.

sometimes i wonder if the only reason i have cats is so that when i'm at home, alone, and talking to myself i can pretend that i'm doing it for the sake of the poor kitties who need attention. despite that we're all three of us (me, sherlock and moriarty) aware that none of us finds the conversation engaging.

yeah, you know you have issues when even your cats think you're a crazy cat lady.

anyway, i take this talking to myself thing to a whole new level when i'm in the shower. i mean, i do my fair share of singing in the shower as well, but let's face it -- the shower is really meant to be used as a stage. meaning not only do i talk to myself, but i frequently (hi, speaking of crazy) perform.

now. for the record, sometimes my performances are very low-key (read: uncrazy). you know, like practicing for a job interview and rehearsing answers to questions you know you'll be asked. and sometimes i'll rehearse conversations, too, like what i might say on the phone if That Guy calls.

on the other hand, sometimes my performances are somewhat...dramatic.

for example, sometimes i perform monologues. and while sometimes the monologues are really just me reciting bits of movies, sometimes the monologues are delivered with great flourish. and, um, accents.

and then there are the times when i feel confident that i won't disturb my neighbors and decide to launch into elaborate musical numbers. showtunes are a favorite choice, but loungey ballads creep in with some regularity. (my shower is SO a cabaret, old chum.)

but beyond the songs and drama, my shower is the perfect (and only) place for practicing my stand-up skills.

i bring this up now for perhaps obvious reasons, sure. i mean, i do have comedy on the brain these days. but i was performing stand-up routines for my shampoo long before the recent influence of The Comic*. the only difference is that now i'm more likely to actually write some of those things down.

and post them here.

*whose real name is NOT shecky. or Ish, for that matter.


  1. I thought that's what showers (and long, solo car rides) were for? Replaying scenarios, speculating about possible situations, and figuring out EXACTLY what you should have said/done, or what you will say/do (but probably won't). Please don't tell me I'm wrong on this. I don't think I could take the trauma. A silent shower? A long car ride without self-counsel? THAT is a world I don't want to live in...

  2. My Psychiatrists dogs are such great listeners, they just lay down and put their head between their paws getting ready for a long rant. My shower is where I meditate they are sooooo long and I am professional singer in my car. I know scary ;)

  3. I thought his name was Comedy Boy.

    Is that really his name?

  4. I usually go over conversations (real and imagined) silently, in my head. Perhaps i'm far too self-conscious. But i do sing obnoxiously in the shower, especially considering i can't carry a tune with a bucket. Usually i irritate my boyfriend with some variation of a well-known song... I do "dancing naked" pretty often to the tune of "private dancer..." It's wrong, i know.

  5. I talk out loud to myself and pretend I'm talking to the cat as well. Cats are convenient like that.

  6. My car is where I do all my singing and performing. I believe that singing is so good for the mind/body/soul/spirit/whatever. I love to sing - and also know that I can't carry a tune to safe my life. With that in mind, the rule in my car is that anyone can sing as loud and as off key as they like and no one can make fun of you.

    I'm sure I must look like a lunatic while driving down the freeway, singing at the top of my lungs (with great flourish), but that's okay.

    "..*everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much." -Maude (Harold & Maude)

  7. I full on dance in the shower. But I don't usually sing..

  8. The shower is an interesting choice. I generally do this in the car.

  9. Those cell phone head phone thingy's are the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I can continue to walk around talking to myself out-loud, like I always have, but people don't hide their children and cross the street any longer. - Oh btw...nice spam control! oops, apparently I can't read wavy psychedelic fonts. Let's try this again.


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