"Well, I'm An Asshole"

those would be my father's words.

he called me today, apologizing. which is almost worse (sorry, Dad) than his saying stupid shit in the first place. "stupid shit" i know how to handle. sincere apologies are a little trickier.

to the anons who've posted so much, so eloquently -- thank you. i am sure your words help us all (not just me). and Em (and Lisa and Hakuna), i love him, too.

and since i've gone this far, i wanted to share a few thoughts about how i perceived what my father said. for what it's worth.

there are people out there who do not find overweight people attractive. i tend to be one of them (though there are MANY differences, limits, and exceptions AND this is speaking from a strictly physical-attraction standpoint). now, do i hold this viewpoint because of how i was raised? of course. but it wasn't JUST because of my dad, or mom, or family, or friends, or TV, or the movies, or magazines, or...

so right. i (we?) know that my father does not, as a rule, find overweight women attractive. so, i know that he wonders -- not in any sort of mean-spirited way -- why/how people DO find overweight women attractive.

i also know, because my father is (albeit in his own, usually sarcastically loving way) incredibly supportive of me. he seems to think i can do anything. when i have made mistakes, he has seemed to hold himself responsible; when i achieve something good, he takes none of the credit.

my weight is the only thing i know he sees as less-than-perfect about me. and he has not (at least since reaching adulthood -- we've both come a long way) suggested i lose weight. his concern has merely shifted to wanting to understand those who have different views about weight than he. he certainly doesn't mean to cause offense.

i chose to include my dad's remark in my post because it is true -- i grew up in a household where fat was not the preferred body type. and i know that has impacted my self-perception, my issues. and i know you would be able to relate.