Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Booty Poetry - What's Yours?

Here's the latest.


Picture 1



I want to point out that somewhere in the world, someone wanted to find a documentary about cheese.

Cheese.

And then, well, I don't know why someone would want a picture of a panty liner or how it is that I've become the Internet's first source on all that is Pirate Booty, but whatever.

Mostly, I am entertained by the person -- some lovely Aussie in Sydney -- who stopped by looking for poems about booty calls. It really just makes me infinitely happy.

And perhaps a little inspired.


Booty Call: A Haiku

Horny and alone.
Could try my luck at the bar...
Nah, I'll just call you.

* * * * *
Update:

I encourage you all to add your own Booty Call verses (in comments or via email). I will post them all. Hopefully, we will make that person in Sydney very, very happy.


othur-me writes:

There once was a man who was tiring,
But his loins it did seem they were firing,
So he picked up the line,
And called Adeline,
Her services well worth aquiring.

* * *

Michael writes:

The Haiku adventures of 70's pick up line guy:

What's your sign baby?
Can I get fries with that shake?
Yes, I'm serious

You must be tired
You know you have been running
through my mind all day

Baby, your daddy
must have been a terrorist
'cause you are the bomb

* * *

anonymous writes
:

You're not the kind of girl I'd take home to mom,
So I dumped you and dated Cindy instead.
But now I'm lonely because Cindy has moved on,
And you are the kind of girl I'd take to bed.

* * *

happy momma to three writes:

Once booty calls
involved a dial tone
and a phone line

Now it's 5 minutes
one condom
and some KY

* * *

julie writes:

There once was a boy with a case
of the most hideous, butt-ugly face
so he got on the net
where he surely could get
someone slutty and desperate on Myspace.

18 comments:

  1. hahaha

    The pirate's booty is haunting you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There once was a man who was tiring,
    But his loins it did seem they were firing,
    So he picked up the line,
    And called Adeline,
    Her services well worth aquiring.

    ReplyDelete
  3. K - That may just be the best haiku I've ever read.

    My biggest (to date) search engine hit: sedating a cat with benadryl.

    I get this several times a month. There must be a lot of exasperated cat owners in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm guessing you already know that Pirate's Booty is a packaged popcorn popular in the pudgy population (of which I am a reluctant member....).... Maybe it's a regional thing.

    And, did you at some point actually post a photo of a panty liner??? I must have missed that one.... tee hee....

    ReplyDelete
  5. My consistent search draws are the post about Jack Osborne's trip to Thai enema country and a discussion of the Pat Metheny Kenny G flame war. Do with this information what you will.

    You'll regret asking for haiku submissions. I'll make sure of that.

    The Haiku adventures of 70's pick up line guy:

    What's your sign baby?
    Can I get fries with that shake?
    Yes, I'm serious

    You must be tired
    You know you have been running
    through my mind all day

    Baby, your daddy
    must have been a terrorist
    'cause you are the bomb

    ReplyDelete
  6. I may be responsible for the panty liner bit because of my post about that Robin giving her dog pany liners to chew on. Sorry.

    Not Haiku but cheesy 70's pick-up line: Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I bet a cheese documentary would be delicious.

    Who doesn't love cheese (other than the lactose intolerant)?

    Mmmmm...cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  8. With regards to your update, thank you for adding my limerick.

    I would ilke to add that we will not just me making one man in Sydney happy, but the thousand of others that utilize the very common google search of "poems about booty calls"

    ReplyDelete
  9. You're not the kind of girl I'd take home to mom,
    So I dumped you and dated Cindy instead.
    But now I'm lonely because Cindy has moved on,
    And you are the kind of girl I'd take to bed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Umm, would now be a bad time to mention that I have actually watched a cheese documentary? *hangs head in shame*

    ReplyDelete
  11. Once booty calls
    involved a dial tone
    and a phone line

    Now it's 5 minutes
    one condom
    and some KY

    Oh how I can't believe I wrote that. But it was off the top of my head after days and days of moving house, no criticism.

    C

    ReplyDelete
  12. I like that HMTT's poem has her full name and poem, but none of her disclaimers from her comment. It just starts with "Happy Mama to Three" and ends with "One Condom and some KY". Beautiful. Very excellent editing choices.

    ReplyDelete
  13. yeah, i want to know more about the panty liner picture too...!

    ReplyDelete
  14. While not a cheese documentary, the film "Mondovino" has one of my favorite documentary cheese-related scenes, where this big white dog takes off with a big hunk of cheese and no one seems to notice but the camera man who films it... OK, glad you are having fun with the technology.

    ReplyDelete
  15. OM - thank you again, as always. (editing is SO much easier than writing, btw...)

    terry - uhmmmm....

    kmk - i have never seen 'mondovino' but Ish loved it and so it is sitting -- as i write this -- in its netflix sleeve on top of my tv anxiously awaiting viewing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. an attempt.

    anon hookup limerick

    There once was a boy with a case
    of the most hideous, butt-ugly face
    so he got on the net
    where he surely could get
    someone slutty and desperate on Myspace.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Okay funniest story ever. I loved your booty call haiku, so decided to send it on to a friend of mine who works for a large software company in the NW, well little did I know that when it pops up in a "new mail" window that the only part that shows was the haiku itself, not the next couple lines that said "I found this on one of my favorite blogs and I laughed out loud and had to share."

    Now picture the scene, he is talking with some of his group and it pops up on the 11 foot screen that the CUSTOMER!!! EEEKKK! is looking at. Yeah, all they saw was Karynne says: [insert haiku]

    OMG!!! He did say it was the most exciting presentation that he has given in a very long time. He is still talking to me, so I guess all is well. He and his wife are two of my closest friends.

    I had to share. Thank you for always keeping my days interesting.

    Karynne
    Horny and alone in the NW. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. OK, I suck at Haiku but here's mine:

    Booty Call Haiku

    Nobody is home
    I am out of batteries
    Oh look, there's the phone

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete