happy new year, Cliif!
i hope you had a joyous holiday season and have been properly ringing in the new year by being hungover.
note: i say "had" because i believe the season is over, seeing as i just came from rite-aid where i ran smack into a pile of valentine's day chocolates. so apparently even if my own christmas lights are still up, the outside world is ready to move on.
hate you, outside world.
anyway, i find the end of the season upsetting because i have spent the last six weeks fa la la la la-ing and such. and i go back to work tomorrow*, where it's back to the grindstone, back to life, back to reality, back to day-to-day being.
and not only that, but -- to the point** -- tomorrow begins the execution of my one, big resolution. the resolution i am dubbing: No Joy In '06.
now, before we get into the details and nuances of NJ06, let's consider 2005 for a moment.
in retrospect, i believe an apt title for last year would be Oh, Hey, Where'd The Time Go? (In '05). because i set out to do exactly TWO things.
as in one, two.
and i did so thinking, wow, i'm sure being reasonable with what i want to accomplish this year. instead of making a list of a dozen or so things i might not do, let's keep it simple and achievable. let's list two things and then we'll be SURE to get 'em done.
and now it's 2006 and i've done how many of them?
that's right. one.
and only sort of.
so now, on the precipice of 2006, i feel i owe it to myself to review WHY i was only able to accomplish Sort Of One thing on my list of, yeslet'srestateforemphasis, two.
it is because i let eight hundred million other things get in the way.
and that is because this is what i do. (and what i'd like to try and fix a little this year.)
instead of cleaning my apartment, i will blog about soup stains. instead of doing my laundry (by which we know i mean WALK MY LAUNDRY ACROSS THE STREET) i will sip wine and watch an episode of sex and the city for the 49th time. instead of paying my bills on time, i will file my bills away in a drawer and forget about them for no good reason.
basically, instead of doing anything i am supposed to be doing, i will often find something else to do. not always, but much of the time.
thus, when i set out in 2005 to do two things -- lose weight and blog about it -- i found eight hundred billion other things to do.
of course, the upshot is that those eight hundred billion other things were pretty awesome! i mean, i sort of had the time of my life in 2005. i went out a lot and met new people and dated a lot and got to know some amazing women and took up knitting (KNITTING! DO YOU HEAR THAT YARN BLOG MAFIA? I'M BLOGGING ABOUT KNITTING! SEE! BLOG BLOG KNITTING BLOG KNITTING!) and got a new cool job and started going to the gym again and took a trip to disneyworld with my best friend and my sister had a baby and i met a comic who changed my life.
not bad, eh?
there are still those two goals. and sure, i did manage to blog fairly regularly. i'm pretty happy with my 270+ posts, yeah. but that part about blogging about weight loss?
or more specifically, that part about losing weight?
it is time now to tell you, Cliif, that at the conclusion of 2005, i have lost a whopping ten pounds.
and this is not okay.
and so, i present you with No Joy In '06.
2005 ended up being a whole lot of fun, but without much in the way of moderation. and for this i do not apologize...i simply know i need to reel it in if i'm going to get anything done in 2006.
so No Joy = reeling in the excess. not so many late nights. not so much eating. not so much drinking. not so much allowing myself to splurge for reasons such as "it's saturday." not so much spending. not so much time spent doing nothing -- absolutely nothing -- productive.
No Joy = employing a better personal work ethic. i'm never going to write my novel if all i do is carry around my laptop (and not ever actually open it). i'm not going to improve at stand-up comedy if all i do is *think* about doing another open mic but don't actually get up on stage. my closets aren't going to organize themselves. my finances aren't going to get in order if i only bother to pay my minimums.
No Joy = saying no more often.
No Joy = not allowing myself to obsess about boys to the detriment of figuring out what i want for myself, by myself.
so okay, sure. what i'm talking about isn't really being joy-less. but i needed to think about things in a dramatic way, at least to get jump-started. i mean, i'm sure i will have tons of fun in 2006. i'm just afraid that 2005 was my version of the grasshopper's summer. and if i don't become more ant-like in 2006, it's going to be a very fat winter. you know?
yes, i think you do.
so again, happy new year, Cliif. and here we go...!
*started this entry on monday night
**wow, talk about a great start to the new year -- i'm already to my point and i'm only like six sentences in. this has got to be a record.