Wednesday, October 26, 2005

AC - CEN -TU - ATE THE POS - I - TIVE!

okay. somehow, for some reason, my blog comments have become increasingly angry, bitter, sad, judgmental, and personally attacking.

and you know, that is just no fun for me.

it can't be much fun for you.

so i have a new policy! (hurrah! aren't policies fun! wheeee!) and that policy is:

::i will delete negative anonymous posts anytime i feel like it::

just like that! *poof* bad stuff gone!

i was trying to behave with all this like, integrity and shit, and leave all comments left by everyone, no matter how destructive they were, in the spirit of community and free speech and all that.

but frankly, i have spent waaaaay too much of my time and energy pouring over anonymous posts that may or may not have come from people i know, who may or may not have the slightest idea what they're talking about, who are then given way too much time and space and validation by me and all the others.

but if you're claiming to be my friend and like, can't own up to it -- well, something doesn't make sense there, you know? so no more of that nonsense!

instead, let's reset the tone. rewind to the days of writing about knitting, and mayonnaise, and bad kisses, and empty fridges, and moments of breezy elegance, and all my drunken mishaps without fear of moralistic retribution.

maybe i'll change my mind later. who knows? but i want to go back to this being fun. because it's my party and i'll blog (write, comment, delete, tra la laaaaaa) and pour another martini if i want to!

76 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Some people are just turds. You're hilarious and make a lot of us laugh everyday. Sorry you have negatives that leave comments.

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  3. fair enough. but it won't be as interesting around here. kiss kiss love love you are great la la crazy

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  4. It's about freakin' time! It's a pain in the ass reading through all of the negative shit cluttering up your comments. You might also want to ban anonymous comments. That would save you the trouble of deleting the especially slanderous ones.

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  5. thanks, sarah.

    it's just that i don't want to discourage people who can't/don't want to register (like my dad) from commenting,

    and

    it's not my intention to delete negative comments from people i actually know (it's just that i hope if someone really does know me and has something negative to say, that they will actually tell me directly).

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  6. Ok, seriously... this is YOUR space! Don't these people get that?! I don't understand when it became ok to anonymously make people feel like shit.

    For me, I think you're awesome and that sounds like something I would do. Mix a little too much after a long week... oops!

    Love you!

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  7. Ok, quick story. I am a member of a certain profession. That profession is fairly male dominated, complete with glass ceilings and family unfriendly practices. So I have organized a group of women in my profession whose mandate it is to meet and bitch about stuff (you know, "network"). So I got this email from a guy in response to my CL post seeking WOMEN to join my PROFESSIONAL GROUP because he wanted to date a woman in my profession (any one, he didn't have one in mind). I politely told him we were a professional group and in no way looking for dates. He didn't take no for an answer and several increasingly heated email exchanges ensued.

    So anyway, I'm ramping up to tell a friend of mine this story and after I describe the first "looking for a hookup" email my friend looks at me and says "so... you just hit delete?"

    Um. No. In fact I got into myself into an entanglement and a proper lather that I discussed with my friends for days on end. Stressful and infuriating.

    So anyway, since that day my personal motto has been "Sometimes in life, you just hit *delete*."


    Sounds like your life is stressful enough right now, do whatever you need to stay sane. I sometimes hit delete nowadays before I even get to the end of the email...

    Also, if you're not the Govenrment, it's not censorship. You could exclude people for anything (chronic bad spelling would be high on my list...)

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  8. "latch on...
    to the affirmative.
    Don't mess with Mr. In Between!"

    here, here!
    xoxo

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  9. hey- some of us like being bitter and judgemental!

    -el snarkster

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  10. Jan aka Warrior Knitter6:40 PM, October 26, 2005

    Love your blog. You're one of my daily reads.

    Negative thing here . . . I almost spit soda pop all over my monitor & keyboard (more than once, thank you very much) yesterday evening reading about your hilarious adventures.

    Positive thing here . . . Thank goodness it was a soda & not wine because that would be possible alcohol abuse.

    ** Clink **
    Toasting you with glass of wine in a martini glass (not a martini gal but I like the glasses!)

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  11. Huzzah! Because I love reading your stories, but was getting really irritated by the jackass comments.

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  12. Martinis! Wine! Wee hoo! :)

    You're great with the breezy elegance and witty humor stuff. Are you every going to write a book?

    I know I'm anonymous. But I don't know you and even if I left my name you wouldn't know me. But I'm a nice anonymous so I hope I pass. :)

    thanks, and cheers!

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  13. I feel so oddly protective of you and so frustrated with my inability to shield you from the destructive anonymouses (anonymi?) out there, that your epiphany is a great relief to me.

    Delete away, Baby. Just don't stop writing...

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  14. I think that's a great policy. You don't know me. I read frequently & post infrequently. I usually find a smile when I read your writing.. that's why I keep reading. :)

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  15. free speech, shmee shmeech, it's your blog and you can cry if you want to.

    honestly, internet anonymity has a way of making people think being an asshole is ok. it's your right, priviledge and responsibility to police your blog how you please.

    see, not all anonymous posters are jerks!

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  16. nicely done, K. did you ever imagine that your blog would generate so much... so much... agitation (i can't quite find the right word) in the comments section?

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  17. you're the best "k". you have every right to delete posts from assholes that have nothing better to do than be bitter, egotistical fucks.

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  18. Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

    SO pleased with this decision.

    Must double-date soon. That is all.

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  19. knitcrazed, you are the sweetest, cutest thing ever. and i'm SO blogging about what you asked me yesterday! (just giving you fair warning!)

    and whinger, we totally do. but i understand you have some higher priorities right now, like pint-planning and all. SO jealous!

    everyone else, thanks for the positivity. it means everything!

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  20. Makes sense to me! You can't let negativity rule you, and some folks seem to be wanting to give you WAY too much fodder for that!

    I love your blog!

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  21. k-- i agree you should not make comments into a blogger-only thing... because i don't have an account, for one! but i always sign my name by choosing "other." it doesn't matter if you know me or not (and you don't in real life, but i've commented numerous times), just the simple act of leaving my name puts a little bit of meaning into it. Like, so you can say, "can you believe what nicole had to say on my blog today?!" (but i don't leave nasty comments, so you don't actually need to say that...)

    ok, so since i am not familiar with blogger functions, is it possible to have only "blogger" and "other" as identity choices in the comments, or is it all or nothing with the anonymous choice? because if you can just have the former two choices, i think that could solve a world of trouble here.

    there's my two cents :)

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  22. one big lovefest sounds boring? I think it sounds totally hot! Hurrah for K!! While I'm generally anti-censorship, I'm also generally anti-asshole. Damn the man, K! Save the Empire!

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  23. Oh thank God/Goddess/Allah/Ganesha/Yahwey/Rosa Parks/Great Pumpkin...'cause the only 12 step program I've ever been able to stick to is the 12 steps to my corner bar! I know I wouldn't have been able to stick to my "program" I said I was going to start in my last post. I feel slightly responsible 'cause of the East Bay paper thing but I'm not sure that's where all the negative people came from. If it is...I owe you a Makers Manhattan..or two. Rock on sistah! Love you Kristy! p.s. feel free to delete any of my "posting while drunk babble" (usually after midnight).

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  24. It's your blog and you should not feel bad about deleting negative posts from people who are too jerky to leave their names when they're saying mean things. :)

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  25. FREE SPEECH IS DEAD! FREE SPEECH IS DEAD! No nitwit...HATE SPEECH IS DEAD! If you can't say anything nice...DON'T post!
    (as long as you don't edit for poor spelling and vapid, empty, meaningless, rambling comments, I'll be able to post for at least a month...)

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  26. Hurrah !
    For the record, though not a frequent "commenter", I am a frequent reader, and I happen to think you're fabulous!

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  27. Right. Last night I had mayo with my jewish fries. Not freedom fries thank you very much. Continue to live long and prosper.

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  28. Just echoing something I wrote on another comment section... slap me if I'm going on too much about this...

    I'm guessing that Kristy isn't only going to keep posts here that AGREE with her. I know that I find the ones that disagree just as illuminating, and sometimes more fun, than the "You're just the very best!" posts (like the ones I normally write!).

    It's just the nasty , really negative, hurtful posts that suck, not the constructive criticism ones. I, personally, think it's OK to be honest if you don't agree with K, and to not always have something nice to say (otherwise, it *could* get boring... not saying it will, but it *could*) ... but you CAN say the not-so-nice things in non-assholey way.

    I may be wrong here... just tell me sweetly... ;)

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  29. Great policy. It's your blog, dammit.

    erm...unless you're deleting something I've written, of course.

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  30. leigh, you totally make me laugh, as that is SO something I would do!

    And K, rock ON! Exactly what you needed!

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  31. You just crack me up. I found you by way of another knit blogger's site and have been stopping by regularly for the laughs. You go right ahead and delete the nasty bits - no one should have to deal with negativity coming from something that should be enjoyable.

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  32. the internet brings out the best and worst in people. this is a best-only zone!

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  33. YAY!!! I"m with you. I like you anyway you are. :)

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  34. Good. Mean people suck.

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  35. K - If you are now deleting any post that is slightly neg on you ( and I suspect you are), you are not drinking martinis, you are drinking the kool aid.

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  36. Right On! I just don't understand why people feel the need to leave mean-spirited angry comments on here.

    You seriously make me laugh with just about every post you write, and greatly increase the quality of my day. I'm sure it's the same with most others that pass by this way. You do not deserve the bashing that you have taken by some of these idiots!

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  37. i am astounded by the comments on that last post!! i have a, like, 10 person readership on my blog, but i have one "anonymous" who does the same thing. it's weird how random mean comments from someone you probably don't even know can be so hurtful. in any case, i totally support your delete decision. people don't have a "right" to be an asshole just because this is a quasi-public forum.

    also, i adore your blog, it's the very first one i ever started reading, please don't stop writing :-) also also, next time see if you can't actually vomit ON those anon assholes, that would be fabulous ;-)

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  38. not so neg:

    The fact that your comment remains should be proof enough to you that Kristy is not "drinking the kool-aid"

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  39. Good for you, Kristy! :-) I'm fully in support of the delete any time you want policy. Especially anonymous posts.

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  40. Yippppeeeee...

    Hey mean/negative people...neeiner neeiner neeiner.....if a$$holes could fly, this place would have been an airport...but K just shut ya down..it's now a no fly zone.

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  41. Also, you might want to consider switching your commenting system to HaloScan. Not only can you delete mean comments from idiotic trolls but you can ban their IP addresses, which means they can NEVER comment on your blog again. Much fun!

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  42. K-
    Rock on! It's your party and you can delete if you want to!
    I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read your blog first thing upon arriving to work. The heck with the actual work type stuff I have to do, I have to get my Kristi fix (with a cuppa joe) of course!

    Not anonymous-
    Lorie

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  43. Kristy,
    I have no idea who you are other than by what you write. I probably never will meet you as we live on opposite sides of the country. I LOVE to read your blog. I enjoy your writing style--but--also your take on different life 'events'. It gives me the opportunity to even laugh at myself whenever I can relate.

    I stopped reading your comments a while back because I was tired of all the negativity---so glad you are taking a stand.

    Keep up the good work!!!

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  44. oh, pish posh, koolaid, schmoolaid.

    i am not requiring a boring-ass love fest, i just don't need to entertain exceedingly personal accusations, blah blah blah.

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  45. Maybe I'm totally off base, but I suspect that if Kristy were instead Kristofer, the problem would never have gotten so bad in the first place.

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  46. Thank goodness. That's what drove me away from your blog in the first place.

    You've always deserved better than the negative comments!

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  47. BRAVO! I actually stopped reading comments awhile back because I didn't want to be bothered with the mean people (who suck).

    To the mean people: ::NEENER NEENER::

    Yeah, like I'm so mature.

    ~OaklandWoman

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  48. Amen, and yet, I will sort of miss the absurdly nasty comments over such subjects as knitted items and cats and vacuums or you know, the most controversial of all subjects, the dreaded...mayonnaise.

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  49. You need a fat cock in the ass!

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  50. Kudos to you, K! I would do the same thing! Delete! Delete! Delete!

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  52. You need a fat cock in the ass!

    No, that's what *I* need.

    Kristy needs a moron filter.

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  53. Serrephim...you 'crack' me up girl!!

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  54. I applaud the new policy, Kristy. Healthy debate is one thing, abject abuse is another. You shouldn't have to take it, we shouldn't have to read it in order to get to the good stuff other posters say, etc. I say "Hurray!"

    -Other Kristy

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  55. I think you're fantastic and that is all. So there.

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  56. On the interweb, know one knows who you are, so there's no recourse when you want to tell somebody, "Who the f**k do you think you are? You don't know me." So please delete all comments from the morons, unless they're funny.

    On a lighter, and yet more hideous note,
    You knit what?

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  57. this is so cool.

    check out the number of thoughtful, intelligent, articulate people who have taken the time to comment on this decision.

    I love k's IIFs and not-so-IIFs!!!!!

    HUGLETS!!!

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  58. yay! you win! and fyi I am reading your blog in hotel room in Australia, since I can't live without it for 2 weeks apparently! You rock K!

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  59. I had to stop with the drinky drinky myself and I ABHORE the holier than thou types that make us ex-drinkers undesirable to just about everyone. Delete away sister. We could all do with less of the “you should” crowd. And to all the Drinking Police out there I suggest you invest your valuable time in improving other aspects of your life and letting others be. So you stopped drinking but now you are addicted to managing other people’s bidness. Shut yer yappin holes.

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  60. I expected to see this entire comments full of nothing but deleted anonymous posts. Disallow them entirely and save yourself the trouble of deleting them. I did that on my first day blogging. Who needs anonymous anything. Are IIF screen names anonymous enough to begin with? Sheesh! BTW your drunk story below was quite entertaining and well written.
    For the record, everyone who indulges in alcohol has problems with alcohol now and then. That's why God invented the stuff. So we could get silly and be laughed at (and helped out by) our friends and vice versa. Anyway ROCK ON K!
    You are awesome.

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  61. I love your site and read it often. Your Crazy Girl post is the greatest thing ever.

    Sorry there have been lame commenters lately. You're awesome and shouldn't waste the effort even thinking about it!

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  62. Anonymous said...
    You need a fat cock in the ass!


    Is that like a turdunkin?

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  63. Yea! First time leaving a comment but I've been reading your blog for awhile and used to also like reading the comments but I stopped when there seemed to be alot of judgmental and negative crap being said. Glad you will be deleting those. I couldn't understand why if people didn't like your lifestyle choices why they would bother to read your blog.

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  64. Kristy,

    I love your posts. I've been a reader for a couple of months now. I don't really know what attracts me to your blog. Yet, I just keep reading. Keep it up!

    I also think it's hilarious how when you threaten to delete comments your audience starts sending more appropriate remarks. Way to keep 'em in check!

    P.S Have you ever considered writing a book? If so, I get a certain percentage since I planted the idea, right?

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  65. HOORAY!!!!

    DOWN WITH SAD BITTER PEOPLE.

    KEEP IT UP, YOU ROCK!!!

    verification word: GRYOFZPH

    what?! tee hee

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  66. If someone can't sign their name to a comment they don't deserve to have it read anyway.

    Its YOUR blog and you have every right to delete what you want to delete. Its supposed to be FUN! ;)

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  67. Smart idea K. Enough is enough eh?

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  68. Wait a minute - people are upset because you've said "If you insult me and say horrible things to me ON MY BLOG, I will delete your comment."

    what part of "ON MY BLOG" do these folks not get? I look at it as kinda like being invited into your living room (or at least onto your screened porch): If I hog all the chips, or tel you you're a horrible person because of the brand of beer you have, or if I make fun of the way you look, of course I should be asked to leave. Duh.

    And I agree with the person who commented that if you were a dude instead of a dudette, this probably wouldn't be happening. Sad but true.

    I don't get horrible comments but then less than a dozen people read my blog, and I also don't allow anonymous comments. (The internet is anonymous enough as it is)

    So rock on, and I support you in your "Why should I have to continue to be confronted by the hurtful things people say" policy.

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  69. Kristy,
    I think you mentioned enough times that you wanted to keep things positive, but some folks out there just had to keep bringing the place down. I say delete away. As someone mentioned above, if we are discussing things as rational humans (like whether or not foil packs of mayo are safe) that is one thing. People can disagree. It's the unnecessarily mean and nasty comments that should be wiped away.
    Cheers!

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  70. your journal is hilarious and entertains me endlessly at work. people who feel like being mean are really just awful. i never understood the whole point of being mean annonymously. like, if they saw you in person, they wouldn't say anything. why would they bother to read your blog anyway? it just doesn't make any sense. people are silly. and you are welcome to delete anything you want. the delete fairy says so.

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