We Need To Talk
me: i know no one ever likes to hear that phrase, but it's true. ish, we need to talk.
ish: we do? about what?
me: well, did you happen to see what the 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 PM said?
ish: no. was that in response to the post about mayo? because i stopped reading the comments somewhere around the time the conversation drifted to judaic semantics...
me: yeah, i know. i don't blame you. but yes, yes it was.
ish: well, what did the 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 PM have to say?
me: ish, there's no easy way to put this. but you have to understand how close i really am to 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 PM, okay? i mean, it's totally possible we go way back.
ish: right, i understand.
me: okay. well, the 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 PM said that i was -- and i have to quote here -- "way funnier before ish."
ish: oh dear. i see.
me: and we can't be having that.
ish: no, of course not.
me: right, of course not.
ish: so um, is that it then? we're done?
me: yes, i'm afraid so. it's either you, or 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 PM. and i think i know what side my bread is buttered on.
ish: right. hmm. well, this was fun. thanks for the laughs.
me: it was fun! stay in touch, okay?
and in case you're wondering, or thinking it...
ReplyDeletea. of course i'm not serious.
b. i seem incapable of ignoring stupid anonymous comments. oh well.
I can't leave it be, either.
ReplyDeleteIsh makes you happy. If the price of your happiness is that one anonymous IIPF* finds you less funny. SO BE IT!
*p stands for pseudo. but you can interpret it however you like.
BUTTER IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 'LAST TANGO'! GET HIP SUGAR!!
ReplyDeleteI can see how this tore you apart, but I think that you and 10/09/05 anonymous 8:44 will be very happy together.
ReplyDeletein the true fashion of showing and not telling, k shows that she is still, indeed, quite funny, even if ish is directly involved.
ReplyDeleteROFL!
ReplyDelete~ Lisa AKA SK
k had told me she was getting pressure from some of her IIFs, and that she needed to "throw them a bone."
ReplyDeletelittle did I know that I was the bone...
-- Ish, aka "Yoko"
Too funny!!!
ReplyDeleteHappiness only ruins comedians and authors. Oh wait...
ReplyDeleteI keed, I keed. Just look at Bob Sagat.
Thank goodness you're not serious, you were starting to freak me out a little bit. And if you did take mr/ms anonymous seriously, I don't think I would have wanted to read you blog.
ReplyDeleteBut sadly I think I might have to agree that you were funnier before... but all you IIFs out here in no-mans-land love you whether you're funny or not.
Maybe since Ish is so funny, and you're training for your marathon of funniness, you've spent all your humor on the outside world and have left little for us IIFs.
Oh well. Just keep our bored little minds busy and keep Blogging! We love it!
Right. I thought you were very funny back in band, but times change right? Well, actually no, you are still darn funny. Of course, our goal in life isn't "funny", right? It's thermo-nuclear annihilation.
ReplyDeleteOMFG Kristy, you are hilarious and so real. i, like many others, stumbled upon your blog when reading back issues of cl best of. so glad i did. you are great, and you seem to have grown so much since you started your blog. you seem a lot happier, which i think is fabulous. anyway, love your work, and i think i have a little crush on you and ish. hehe.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think you're still really funny, and this comes from a jewish girl who loves her Hellmans/BestFoods.
ReplyDelete