Bob And I Have a BIG DATE This Friday

so like, bob and i have this huge event planned for friday. i am really hoping to impress him, too. i think i can, but he has himself some high standards.

anyway, i tell you this because our date is requiring a whole lot of preparation -- metaphoric primping, if you will.

and so this has unfortunately meant that i have not had the time or wherewithal to complete any of my funny-i-swear entries i've been fooling around with.

but i'm trying...


  1. Just so you know, I am NOT happy about all the time you're spending with this "Bob."

    Is he bigger than me?

  2. uh-oh, ish is getting jealous. time to kick bob to the curb and give the comic some good lovin'. i just stumbled upon your blog a week or so ago, and i love it. can't say i'm not a little pissed off at bob right too, but shite happens. good luck with the big event, know that everyone is waiting with baited breath for your next entry!! lol

  3. I BET....a "breezy elegance" moment is in the offing for you stumble and fall before you make a BIG presentation...OR your skirt will be tucked up neatly in your pantyhose in the back....or...

  4. i don't know which is sadder: k referring to her job in a psuedo-masculine name, ala "bob" or her otherwise significant other, ala "ish-i wanna be funny, damnit" being jealous of said made-up "bob"


  5. I always thought 'BOB' stood for 'Battery Operated Boyfriend'.

    Ish, beware!

  6. This whole "our blogs are dating, isn't it cute?" thing is actually NOT cute or funny at all. K - change the channel please. And Ish - stick to fake news stories.

  7. with the negativity peoples! wow!

    missye @ 8:31 am: at least it's better than saying that she's too busy working to pay any attention to us. this says something in the way of creativity that she still thinks about us enough to come up with something funny to say about possibly the most boring thing in the world. work. unless y'all really really love your jobs or something. i dunno.
    and ish? be jealous. be very jealous. someone like bob probably has the ability to suck every bit of spirit and life from your beloved. just ask my husband.

  8. Long time reader and I never post but just had to here.

    Missye and Anon 9:32, why ya gotta be so nasty? If you don't like it, don't let the imaginary door hit you in the ass on your way out.

  9. okay. how stressed am i?

    i want to be writing. i want to have enough left over at the end of the day to blog. i want to be able to produce something other than what i do at work.

    but i'm tapped out right now. and that makes me sad.

    so sad that reading the anon post above and MissyE's two posts have made me cry at my desk.

    never a good sign.

  10. missye, I don't know which is sadder: that you have nothing better to do than to make petty mean comments on k's blog, or that you really don't get the jokes?

    Anon 9:32am, I write about what I want to write about. If you don't like it, don't read it. Go somewhere else.

  11. K - Shouldn't waste your tears over people like that. I think you just made their day cuz I can't imagine they have any other goal in mind other than to hurt your feelings by saying nasty crap on your blog. Must be the whole "I'm a loser so I must make others feel bad to boost myself up." Must suck to have an inferiority complex that bad. Really, if your life is so lame that your roving the internet looking for crappy blog entries to critique and put down...must suck to be you.

  12. Never let 'em know they got to's what they thrive on. After all the negative shit you've had to put up with in past entries and the way you've handled them with such style and grace, I can't believe you let these three, odious, but puerile posts get to you!!!(I just joined Webster's word-for-the-day). K-you're probably crying over your date with Bob Friday or perhaps Aunt Flo's coming to town again soon! That's all it is.

  13. Ah K,
    These losers are really pathetic. It certainly is NOT worth getting your feelings hurt or crying over.

  14. RANT:

    Mean people who don't understand humor suck.


  15. I'm with Dan...I thought "BOB" was..battery operated boyfriend :/

    IIF in Fresno

  16. Lucky Bob!! Lucky you!!

    Oh, wait..... : )

  17. ahh, kristy, i hope you're feeling better. i don't understand people who are so miserable they have to critique someone else's personal messages. it makes no sense. you guys suck, and not in the good way. hope work eases up for you. xoxo

  18. Battery Operated Boyfriend. I love that term!

    That was meant to induce some laughter.

    This is why I don't comment on this blog anymore.

  19. Yes Dan, we get to read about how you don't blog on this board anymore almost as often as we got to hear about no one posting on your own blog.

  20. Some of you sure seem to have very unrealistic expectations of Kristy. She owes you nothing! So what if you find the Bob stuff sorta lame? Gee, no one scores a touchdown every time. It takes guts just to *attempt* to write humorous blog entries. It takes no guts at all to drive K to tears.

  21. will the nasty comments ever cease? jeez fellow IFFs, if we don't all play nice, k might just get sick of listening to all the bitching and moaning and stop posting anything for our enjoyment/amusement/entertainment. i'm sure even those of you who complain about her subject matter wouldn't appreciate that, cuz then what would you bitch about?

    k-love the blog, please don't let a few rude commenters ruin it for the rest of us. you keep me entertained while i eat my lunch with bob, cuz he's pretty possessive and rarely lets me leave my desk.

  22. For cryin' out loud people!

    What happened to manners and good taste? It's really quite simple, if you don't like what you're reading, DON'T READ IT!

    The fact that Kristy was made to cry because of a couple of holier than thou types is very,very sad!

    Kristy, take the high road, and keep on doing what you're doing. Remember that you're entertaining a whole lot of us IIF's. At the same time, you're obviously giving the mean and nasty ones a chance to
    see just how mean and nasty they are in print!

    Bob may be a pain, but Bob pays the bills!


  23. Wow, Kristy. Your blog is a regular hotbed.
    Can't believe how nasty some people can be. Hey, are they paying you for entertainment? On the bright side, I think you've got quite a few supportive fans (me included).
    Do what you gotta do for your job. Take care of your health. So don't rush back here to blog if you need to eat, rest, and exercise. Its YOUR blog. People should have the courtesy to remember that. When you step into someone else's blog, its a lot like walking into their house. Respect and civility go a long way.
    (Yes, in some parts of my life people refer to me as the Mother Hen!) :-)
    take care,

  24. damn, now I feel bad. K: I am SORRY I made you cry. I did not mean to do so. I was being critical of your content, but thought you had a thick skin about it. OK, I'll go away now.

  25. don't let the door hit ya...

  26. it is my opinion that people who apologize only to follow their apologies with an explanation about why they weren't wrong shouldn't bother in the first place.

  27. I did NOT say I wasn't wrong. I was just offering some context. Whatever. I was apologizing because I felt bad that I made you sad, and am sorry my comments came out in a hurtful way.

    but thanks for saying I should not have bothered. nice.

  28. Bob is a buzzkill4:00 PM, October 18, 2005

    K - it's the comments, devisive or not, that rock this blog. The above comments were not even that mean. Why so sensitive? Does Bob have a small dick or something?

  29. my my... K I wouldn't sweat it. you write what you want, funny, sad, whatever. The only thing to feel sad about is that some people rather than stumbling upon something that they might not enjoy and moving on, feel the need to stumble upon it only to bash it. C'mon folks, take a lesson from our good friend Thumper ala Bambi..."if you can't say anything nice..."

    see, by all means bash me, a Bambi reference for cryin out loud. lame. lame. lame.

    Love ya! Be good to Bob and he'll be good to you. Maybe in bonus form.

    And keep on keepin on.

  30. okay.

    let me take a deep breath and start again.

    hi. me? super stressed. like, not a little bit. and i don't know about you guys, but when i'm super stressed, i'm also prone to having over-emotional reactions to things.


    to think that this phrase:
    I was being critical of your content, but thought you had a thick skin about it.
    is an apology is rather striking to me.

    i mean, what am i supposed to say? were only being critical of my CONTENT! why would i take THAT personally?

    also i am supposed to have thicker skin. so, anon, regardless of what you think you've said, the subtext is that i have failed you on two counts.

    which i shouldn't care about, but let me reiterate:

    i am feeling a LOT of pressure and am not so much RATIONAL. at the same time, i'm sad because i don't have time to blog -- which i enjoy. and so, when i put meagre attempts at entries up (which i also feel guilty about doing, but it's better than nothing) and am criticized for it, it's just a little much for me to take.

    i'll be fine.

  31. Kiki, please don't let negativity from some of your IIFs get you down and don't give in to any pressure to be wildly entertaining. It's okay to be funny - or not. Your most "serious" entries have generated at least as many thoughtful comments as the others, so your loyal readers are positively affected by your writing, regardless of the tone. Cut yourself plenty of slack with the "funny-i-swear" pronouncements (funny is so highly subjective) and don't stress over trying to keep 'em all rolling in the aisles. This blog shouldn't make you feel guilty! Just post when it works for you and write whatever makes YOU happy. Love you!

    P.S. Good luck with the huge event! ((((((((D2))))))))

  32. Anon apologized twice. enough already. let's all move on.

  33. Kristy, the fact is -- and you do know this -- it doesn't matter what other people think. well, it might seem to matter what people you love think (and even then, fact is that doesn't matter either). i'm sorry to read that you cried... it's gotta be something bigger than just lip from anons. Winston Churchill said: "if you're going thru hell, keep going." Your shindig on friday will go well, and you'll get thru whatever is really at your core. You're not alone. AA. you are terribly fun to read, and you make a difference.

  34. Need fast relief? SLOW DOWN!!!

  35. hey Kristy!

    you write wonderfully honestly and well...and the more one reads you, the more one loves you for the person you are anyone who has been reading your blog for a reasonably long time, it doesn't matter if you can't find time once in a while to post, or if you're too hassled to be your funny best, we still love you as much as we did before and will keep coming for more, wanting more...

    To the "nasty" people out there, if you don't like what you see here, please go away to a better place...a better place for you, that is ...some of us are really happy here, just the way it is.

    Kristy, you have a great job (oops, Bob!), a great blog with great fans, great people around you, and a wonderful Ish in your life sure is no time for tears (unless they are happy ones)! :)

  36. k, I can't speak for everybody, but I can say when I check in and see that you've posted another entry, I say "woo-hoo!" (not out loud, of course, because I'm usually taking an extremely brief break from my own very stressful Bob).

    You probably started blogging for the same reason that most of us did - to have a chance to get all of the funny observations, and rants about nothing, and random crazy thoughts - that often crowd your head OUT before you go CRAZY. (or is that just me?) And in that quest, you found a following that relates to you, that is amused by your musings, and has a genuine interest in what goes on in your life.

    That said, you don't owe us shit. While we are all IIF's, we shouldn't be people who add to your daily trials and tribulations. God knows we all have enough of those in the not-imaginary world. So when your head is full of of things you need/want to get, please keep letting us in. Think of a terribly bad day you have had, remember that we all have those, and how happy you are to take a break from the drudgery, even for a moment.

    And the naysayers?

    Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

  37. It always amazes me that this is your blog. Not a newspaper column, not an editorial page, not a news magazine article. It is your personal blog. As someone said somewhere above, and so right on the money... when they go to someone's blog, they think of it as going to someone's home. You are a guest and you don't have to come or stay. However, while you're here, show a little class and if you feel the need, bow out gracefully.

  38. I used to read your blog more often and I certainly commented more often as I well. I always tried to keep my comments thoughtful, supportive and hopefully sometimes funny. That's when the 'anons' started deriding me and suggesting I was looking for your readers to visit my blog. Honestly I could have cared less if anyone read mine. I've found a different set of people whose blogs I frequent and they're readers are supportive and give my blog a peek once or twice.

    I think that speaks for the kind of people they are. Accepting and willing to give others a chance to speak.

    Most of your readers are the same when it comes to you. It just so happens that the 'anons' know they will get a reaction from others so they insist on being hurtful.

    I used to reply to them on your blog (if you recall) but now I shrug them off and leave them be.

    I'm sorry to hear your life is so full of stress right now. My job is the same way, all the time. That's why I blog and read other blogs. Keep doing what you're doing for yourself, not for others.

    Good luck.

  39. k,

    i was just being honest. you do want that, don't you? honesty? what's more, i didn't hide behind a pseudo-anonymous tag, either. i signed my remarks with "MissyE"

    likewise, i was just being honest when i made something of a request for you to post something about your mum, remember? yes, and remember what happened to me then? i was criticized by your blog response enforcement team, told that it was inappropriate, blah blah blah...

    look, you've gotten support from me in emails and in here, you've gotten words of encouragement from me, you've gotten well-written compassionate remarks in response to something you did/said/experienced, and yesterday, you got the truth.

    evidently, it seems that the only folks who are encouraged by you and your siamese-twin-attached-not-so-funny-ishman to comment in this blog response box are those who say nothing but superlative complimentary remarks in regards to your life, your career, your relationships, etc...

    obviously, those of us who have been around for quite awhile (months, as opposed to "just discovered you on craigslist's funniest posts list") who don't always sync with the others are ostracized, and for what? for being honest? for representing that part of the world that stands between imitation and reality?

    and really, k, when you get right down to it, i'm just words on a screen, right? just as you are to me and the rest of us who don't know you in real life, who don't socialize or work with you on a semi-regular basis. what i have to say or what i have to think really shouldn't matter as much as what your loved ones think or say, right? i'm nobody in the grand scheme of things. just words on a screen in the middle of the morning.

    and ish? do yourself a favor, get off the damned white horse and just leave things be in here. you don't always have to come to k's rescue and blast your spite in my face, it's enough for k to do so herself. you may be involved with her, but my experience with her has nothing to do with you.

    and one last thing, all you anonymous posters who hide behind the screen of deception and illusion, stand up and put a name to your remarks whenever you're responding to these sorts of blogs, stand up and be a man/woman or whatever it is you call yourselves these days, and don't pretend to know that words aren't powerful, that words can't hurt. when you sign your name as anonymous, it doesn't dissolve your obligation to take responsibility for what you say, for what you do.

    k, it's obvious that i'm really not welcome in this little corner of the world of yours, and that saddens me. you really made a connection with me and i have so appreciated being given a glimpse of your entire thought processes. even more to the point, i've been so happy and proud of the acclaim your writing efforts have garnered in the months since i've been reading your words. you really have become quite popular, y'know, and good on ya, mate, it's all a result of your writing efforts.

    i can apologize for my words causing hurt, but i cannot apologize for being honest. it wasn't my intention to be negative and maybe, in hindsight, i might have taken a quick moment to preview my remarks before i posted them, just to "hear" how they sound in my head. i mean, you do remember i'm deaf, right? and my thought process, hell everything in my brain works so much differently than it does for hearing people. *shrug*

    i am sorry but i guess the right thing for me to do is just leave things be here.

    you will always have my sincere gratitude for helping me do something incredibly extraordinary earlier this year, something that made so many people happy and brought such kind words of appreciation from those who least expected it.

    peace, out.

  40. I just discovered your blog from a link on Kyahgirl's blog. I have perused it and found it very funny. Also, you knit? You are smart, witty, a good writer and you knit too? Want to be friends? :-)

    Ignore the peanut gallery. You have an excellent blog here. I will be back to read more. :-)

  41. Kristy, there are lots of us out here who love -- JUST LOVE -- you and all that you write about. I check your blog every single day, and, let me tell you, in my stressful world you have given me a lot to laugh about. I am ever so grateful.

    Please keep it up and know that there are LOTS of us who feel the same way, we just don't comment on how much we love you because that might be a little bit scary.

    Not a stalker, just a fan.

  42. Good lord Dan...give it a rest! whah whah whah!!!!! poor me, someone pleeeeeeeese feel sorry for me!! Look at me. Guess now we'll hear over and over again about how you're never going to post here again.

  43. K,

    Your blog is what got me into blogstalking. I found a link to your blog on Craigslist and I haven't been the same since. Your blog is funny and fabulous (even when you're stressed or sad) and I read it every day. In fact, your blog inspired me to start my own and that in turn has inspired many of my friends. So, don't feel bad and don't let mean people get you down. You're inspirational!


  44. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet." I love reading Kristy. She's so funny and so human. I also enjoy staying Anonymous :) It's like not capping "i's" - an idio at this point... granted, not all A's are the same but again, so what? Kristy, All's well that ends well! Sometimes pain means growth. Hang in there!

  45. MissyE,

    It's absolutely amazing to me that you are still defending yourself when you clearly did not get that Ish's first comment here was a JOKE. Your response was out of line, and your subsequent defense of yourself is so utterly baffling, it boggles the mind.

    I'm reading your rants as they get more and more lengthy, and defensive, and mean and the only thing I can think is "HUH?????" I mean, DAMN, woman ... all of this defending your "opinion" that Ish is, to paraprhase you, sad for being jealous of K's BOB?

    He's not jealous, ya dimwit. It was a joke. The rest of us got it. This continuous defending of yourself is just making you look lame. You didn't get the joke. Ok. Bitter, much?

    I mean, you've got to be just a little crazy, to keep coming back to read something that so clearly isn't living up to your expectations.

    Do you scream at the TV when the characters don't do what you want, too? Or write authors of books demanding they change it because it didn't come out as you expected?

    And I think it's absolutely precious that you believe that the fact that you've sent Kristy some nice emails, and have made some nice comments in the past, entitles you to be abusive to her in a fairly public way, on *her* blog. Kristy is a helluva lot nicer than I am: if you were behaving like this on the comments on my blog, I'd exercise my right as the blog administrator and delete your sorry ass. Kristy doesn't have to put up with this. You should thank her for giving you the venue.

  46. MissyE - it's not so much that you're honest, you're just an insulting ass about it. I'm mean you're STILL baggin on ish for saying something about your rude ass comments. It has nothing to do with a white horse - he, like many others here - finds it irritating to see someone be so outwardly nasty. Don't confuse it with honesty because it's not. And please don't blame your rudeness on being deaf...that's an insult to the deaf community. And the only reason people continue to attack you for it is beacause you continue to defend it. If you would just say "hey, that was rude, sorry" it probably wouldn't come off as so arrogant.

  47. Ah, Kristy. Hope your Wednesday is looking better than your Tuesday.

    And I bet that date with Bob will be a hot one.

    Kind thoughts are directed your way....

  48. This reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. He also used to confuse "tactless" with "honest."

    K, hope you are feeling better today. I can SO relate to that stressed-out sensitive state.

  49. Bright side too: you're saving a ton of money because blogging is cheaper than therapy!!

  50. Okay but for reference, a blog is in PUBLIC SPACE. It is PUBLIC DOMAIN. And if you advertised it on Craig's List, you can't be surprised that you get people here criticizing it as well as praising it. You're trying to get your writing out there for people to see. And sometimes, they're not going to like it. Deal with it. not K, who understands these risks and by way of Bob stress is allowed to feel more/less upset for now, but some of the IIFs are SOO mad when anyone doesn't like it. Do you say these things to your friends when they disagree with you about other things? Or are you the people that complain about people who don't share your views all the time, instead of recognizing their right to their own opinions? Calling someone stupid doesn't make you right. So even if someone has said something that you don't find kosher, bashing their personality and comments doesn't make you seem like the wiser one, it makes you look like an even bigger loser.

    "When you step into someone else's blog, its a lot like walking into their house."

    Bullshit. Cause i don't leave my doors unlocked so everyone can get in and post signs up all over the town inviting them in. If i invite everyone in, i expect to take the bad with the good.

  51. i am -- again -- rather taken aback by MissyE's post, so i want to be clear about a couple things.

    MissyE, you are free to offer opinions, however honest. but when you say something negative, expect to receive negativity in return.

    this is not to say i can't accept *constructive* feedback. for example, your suggestion that i post more about my mother was taken to heart. however, it's hard for me to find anything redeeming in your posting vague, disapproving remarks. if you want me/others to respond to your thoughts in kind, perhaps offering *why* you thought this (or any) post was "sad" would help. otherwise, you've just flung an insult and opened yourself up to receive insults in return.

    finally, to Ish you write: "...but my experience with her has nothing to do with you." except you insulted him directly, twice. so from my perspective, you involved him.

  52. Well said Madison!

    If you've read this blog for a while you will see that k's IIFs are for the most part a bunch rabid, wanna be (bloggers), who attack anyone who says k is anything less than perfection.

  53. Madison:

    What kind of people do you hang out with? My friends have tact and tend not to insult each other for the hell of it. If they are tactless by accident, one of the BEST things about them, is that they acknowledge when they're wrong, and apologize, and forgive in kind when someone else does the same.

    An apology is not an apology when it is followed by more defensive, barely-veiled insults.

  54. Anonymous said...

    Well said Madison!

    If you've read this blog for a while you will see that k's IIFs are for the most part a bunch rabid, wanna be (bloggers), who attack anyone who says k is anything less than perfection.

    Some of us care about Kristy and don't appreciate needless cruelty in the world. I don't think Kristy is perfect. No one is. But I love her, faults and all, and she *is* one of my best-friends, and if someone can't criticize her in a constructive, helpful way, then yes, I'm going to have something to say about it.

  55. Hi Krusty! Long time no talk! I just wanted to post and say how I understand (more than I care to) about the work-time-suckage thing. Bleh. Hope you are well, though, and try to get some rest!

  56. Shit. I typed "Krusty" I SUCK!!! Do you see why I never leave comments??? SEE WHAT HAPPENS. This is why I try to stay alone, all alone, all quiet, and drink wine.

    KRISTY!! :)

  57. I just have to add one more thing that may or may not explain at least my protectiveness over Kristy. Some of us aren't just IIF's. We have actually met, hung out, partied together. Some more or longer than others. Some are co-workers, ex's, neighbors, family etc. I don't post or jump to the defense of bloggers I have never met. I personally do defend my friends when their feelings get hurt however, my friends and family try to be a little sensitive with heir "constructive" criticism...and usually share it when their opinion is asked for. Ok, peace.

  58. Laurie...thanks for the comic relief! I'm still cracking up!

  59. This blog disclaimer should be required reading.

  60. Like with men... no blog comment should ever make someone cry. I've been getting hate comments, too, and a few "you fat bitch you suck. who the fuck are you to be giving dating advice. you're a mess. your boyfriend must hate having sex with you" e-mails. As much as I hate it it goes with the territory when you put yourself out there. I've let some comments get me down, too, until I see those same commenter spewing vomit on other blogs or ragging on other posters/commentors. Some people just want to hate.

    Don't let the haters get you down.

    Have fun Friday.


  61. goodness.
    only K could generate dozens of comments for a post telling us she's too busy and stressed to write..!
    yes, K's blog is in cyberspace, accessible to all... but it is still HER blog. she gets to write whatever she wants. if you don't like it, i just don't understand why you'd spend precious time a) coming back to it and/or b) spewing nastiness.
    isn't there enough of that in the world? don't you see enough of that every day?
    and i'm not saying that blind worship is in order. but jeez. this is ridiculous.

  62. OK, I'm normally pretty quiet here... but this comment thread has particularly bugged me. So I'm opening my big mouth.

    The problem isn't with being honest. Honesty is a wonderful quality, one that is far lacking in society today. I'm sure (and I don't mean this from a distance, as in a vague, "Oh... yeah... I'm sure..." No. I mean, I am absolutely, positively, 100% certain ) that Kristy is looking for honesty in these responses. She is, after all, interested in being a WRITER, and any writer worth her salt wants OPINIONS... honest ones. She does NOT simply want people to blindly agree with her, tell her how witty or wonderful she is, etc. If you disagree with her, if you don't like something... she wants to know. It's the only way to actually improve as a writer. And, as a good writer, Kristy knows that.

    So, yeah. Honesty isn't the problem here. Being mean and hurtful and nasty is the problem. Say what you want - but, for crying out loud, find a way to do it in a way that isn't rude or cruel. It IS possible to express an opinion -- even a REALLY negative one -- in a decent, un-insulting way. I teach 12 year-olds how to do this, so I know what I'm talking about. If THEY can say that something sucks, but can do so without hurting the pimple-nosed kid next to them, then, trust me, anyone can.

    The reason I (and, I suspect, many readers here) am so shocked and angered by the inflammatory, mean comments (however honest they may be) is because I just don't GET why anyone acts that way. Maybe I live in a bubble, or maybe I just got lucky in that I have decent friends who know the difference between being honest and being rude... but I just do NOT understand why ANYone comes to a blog -- public space though it may be -- and is nasty toward the writer. What GIVES?? WHY do people feel the need to treat others like crap? Does the anonymity of the web make them feel more powerful? Do they get off on it?

    What kind of person ENJOYS being mean to others??? I mean, really?

    Come to think of it... I don't live in a bubble. I live in New York City, where, as people who DON'T live here love to tell me, there are millions of rude, abnoxious people just lurking on streetcorners waiting to prey on innocent tourists (and unlucky Republicans ;) ). And yet... they somehow manage to be honest withOUT being rude. They tell me that my fly is undone without embarrassing me, that my hair is a mess without making me feel like I need to run to a mirror, that I really need a mint...

    So, no. It's not me.

    It's the people who come here and are hurtful and hateful. Who the hell ARE you?????

    Kristy herself said it best... Please be honest. Tell her what you think. If you aren't digging the content of the blogs, if you think they're lame, "sad," or whatever... go ahead and let her know. But, if you have the time to actually criticize her, take the time to make it constructive .

    Lessons I will take from this to teach my daughter:
    Honesty is great.
    Being an asshole is not.

  63. Em,
    You should open your mouth more often. Great comments.

  64. even Good people are assholes sometimes... the trick is to not take it personally. That's a lesson I'd hope to teach my daughter: a lesson of the universe: don't take anything personally. These little observations of real people can only help Kristy write better. Character development all over the place! K, how's the friday gig looking? Good luck!!

  65. It's not the blog I like...its the post blog fisticuffs.
    You have a 3 paragrapgh blog and like 60+ comments.
    Wow you're good.

  66. EM - You said "It's the people who come here and are hurtful and hateful. Who the hell ARE you?????"

    Maybe they were not trying to be hurtful..maybe that's just how they write. Maybe they wrote it too fast and hit send before thinking about. Maybe they apologized twice and k still told them they were being nasty.
    Maybe some people think it is "edgy" and you think it is hateful. Maybe there are multiple points of view????

  67. the comments section of this blog really does rock.

    k - why do you suppose you get everyone (neg and pos) so stirred up?

  68. Kristy - you shouldn't dignify negative comments with an answer. If people continue to bother you, turn comments off. I wouldn't want all this bullshit to turn you off blogging.

    Best of luck with Bob; hope whatever the project is goes well.

  69. I agree with 'em'. If you have time to comment and criticize then you have time to think it through and be constructive.

    Good manners aren't just for the dinner table people.

  70. Anonymous 1... I agree, good people can definitely be assholes sometimes. I just wonder what makes people tick, what makes them DECIDE to come to a space like this and PURPOSELY be a jerk. I'm not being facetious or sarcastic. I honestly wonder what kind of person does something like that. Because I'd like to think I don't know anyone that callous, insensitive, or downright mean.

    As for not taking things personally... WOW, is that much easier said than done!! I bet K would agree that it would be dandy to just brush aside negativity and nastiness, and to not let it affect her.

    But you know what's so great about Kristy? Why those who know her love her so dearly? Because she DOES take things to heart. She's sensitive, in a wonderful way. People affect her, they move her, they interest her. It's damn hard to ONLY take the good stuff personally -- and, interestingly, when she does receive a whole slew of positive comments (i.e. when, in a previous blog where she quoted the email from the Bad Speller ["Suspicions of Fatness"] and everyone jumped in and said what a great person K was)... People commented that she was taking the NICE comments too much to heart!! What's a girl to do?! Ignore EVERYthing that people say here? Not take ANY of it personally? How do you turn on and off your emotions so that you ONLY take the good stuff to heart, and ignore the bad?

    Maybe others can do it, but I certainly can't. And I don't think that Kristy can, either. And that's what makes me love her so much. I WANT a person who feels, who takes it all in. She's sharing SUCH personal aspects of her own life with all of us... so I actually expect that she'll take things personally in return.

    As for my daughter... Sure, I hope to help her feel good about herself and have enough confidence to take the bad with the good and still stand strong and tall. And, certainly, I'll help her understand that there are assholes out there. But she'd better not BE one of them.

    And, as for Anonymous 2... You bring up some really good points. Yes, maybe people weren't trying to be hurtful. Maybe they did write too fast. Indeed, apologies were made. And, of course one man's trash is another man's treasure -- what someone finds funny or "edgy," others may not.

    You're right. Words, rather than in-person communcation, easily open themselves up to misinterpretation. You can't easily WRITE tone. So, could someone's intent have been misconstrued? Absolutely.

    But there are people who come to this blog and just spew hatred (and I'm not talking about anyone on this particular comment thread). They're BEYOND rude, and just spout things off to say nasty stuff and get a rise out of people. THOSE are the people who I'm talking about -- who ARE they???? For real... what makes a person WANT to be cruel to another human being, someone they've likely never met, someone who has done NOTHING to them? Who ARE those people??? It totally confounds me.

    Finally... I still believe VERY strongly that EVERYONE can write comments, even really negative ones, in a constructive way. As I said above... if 12 year-olds can tell me how much they HATE Mozart and African-American spirituals and never ONCE say something that ANYONE finds offensive or that is rude in ANY way... then ANY one of us can do it.

    Try a little harder. Think before you write. Use the "preview" button. Read your writing aloud. Send it to another person to peruse. Whatever.

    Multiple points of view are awesome. Bring 'em on!! But they CAN be said in a way that's not offensive, no matter how "edgy" someone is.

    p.s. Come on, you Anonymous-ers... I gotta agree with MissyE here... SHOW THYSELVES!! At least invent a new name so that you can take ownership of what you write!!!

  71. mothers, aunts, sisters... fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands, selves... even our own kids will have moments of being assholes... hopefully they'll also learn to apologize and forgive. It's true, Em... youre so right.. being sensitive is a wonderful gift. so is the rule to take nothing personally. it's not easy, (it's HARD, and sometimes i can't do it!) but it is always a wise choice. Being sensitive and taking nothing personally aren't mutually exclusive, are they? And isn't writing "anonymous'ers" offensive? Naaa. :) I like reading Kiki's blog because it's a way to see how she's doing. That she is doing ok is the main thing.

  72. Serrephim:

    Your friends probably agree with you. Or you probably correct them when they don't. As evidenced by the fact that you jumped all over me (and potentially people i hand out with) to tell me what was wrong with posting what i thought was not inflammatory.

    People suck! Sometimes they're bastards! Responding in kind is not the way to win them over. It's not cool to be mean to someone, but calling someone names when they do it doesn't make them see the error of their ways. i understand about being overly protective of your friends, but give a lost girl a break (as MissyE seems to be kinda hurt and confused).

    Also, if there's a way to nominate comment of their year, I nominate Laurie. That made me laugh out loud. Too rad.

    And Krusty (oh God willing the nickname doesn't stick), good luck with Bob. When i get Bob stress of my own, i am known to cry over Kodak commercials.

  73. K,

    When experiencing stress with BOB, turn to his brother BIB (Bordeaux in Boxes).

    I crack me up!

  74. dan-

    indeed you do only crack yourself up. we thought you were going away again. anxiously awaiting your reply as to how you are leaving (again).

  75. Kiki -

    I though you were dating that comedian guy "Ish". Who is Bob? I don't think it is wise to date people from work.


  76. paunchy and and you know me or something? Do you have an issue with me? If you live close by I'd sure like the chance to speak to you fist..umm...face to face. Your assaults on me are growing quite tiresome.

    Obviously you're one of the people referred to in the above posts.

    (My apologies to K for this comment.)

  77. OMG --- what is WITH you, punchy? did you read ANY of the comments about being mean to others??? Dan made a TOTALLY innocuous comment. IF in the past, Dan was hoping that K's readers would check out his blog, what difference does it make to you? If you're not interested, just DON'T READ IT! As for me, I'm hoping that YOU will go away as soon as possible.

  78. and just to clarify...I specifically mentioned I didn't care if anyone read my blog or not. The first time I said that it was meant as a joke but went over poorly. I was new to blogging then (3 months ago) and hadn't developed the ability to get humor across in writing properly. I guess I still don't :-)

  79. paunchy and rude-y10:29 AM, October 20, 2005

    yikes Dan, don't punch us, we are just puppets! it was a joke..lighten up all. guess we are just not funny puppets.

  80. The Real Punch and Judy10:37 AM, October 20, 2005

    um....the last Punch(y) and Judi is not the same as Punch and Judy. That's ok though. We agree with the comments! To "enough said already", you can heed your own advice. You don't have to read or comment on our posts either.

    Kristy you rock.

    Our vote goes to Laurie too!

  81. OMG - this is gonna get me in so much trouble with Bob. All this bickering and whatnot is so entertaining, I just keep checking back. So much for getting much work done.

    K-not sure who said it before but this is one of the great things about your blog, the extensive and heated comments it draws. 81 comments? That's awesome. Keep up the good work woman. I love your blog, lunatics and all.

  82. Like kristen, I keep checking back to see how the comments pile up. It amazing.

    And Em, I have to disagree on one point, although I've only been to NYC once, I was astounded by how much I liked the people there. They are awesome!

  83. < crazy >



    < /crazy >

  84. kristy,

    guess what....

    it's thursday. which means that tomorrow is friday....

    which means that the weekend is almost here and that you can finally REST! and drink a box of wine (from a straw) to celebrate.


    and good luck at your event.

  85. I love the people who make snide comments but don't have the guts to even use their name, never mind including a link to their own contributions to the blogosphere.

    Hey, Kristy! You wanna write fiction? Check out National Novel Writing Month. I'm thinking about giving it a shot.

  86. First time reader. Very nice blog. Will have to check it more.. Keep on blogging.

  87. Dang. The sheer volume of comments on this post has me pinching the walrus like it's my job!

    Rad blog, cheers!

  88. for the love of god, anonymous posters, please use a minute of your time wisely and register. trying to differentiate anons makes my head spin.

  89. Ace is really jealous to Bob. Oh how cute!:)
    I really love to see a guy who's been jealous to other men. You're so blessed because you have Bob who will be your date this Friday and Ish who's quiet jealous to your Bob, so how does it feel to be loved by those two men?lol
    Hoping for your next news K! Goodlcuk to the upcoming big date!


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