Arts & Crafts & Crap &...

this is not an entry, in case you were wondering.

i am just casually making mention of the fact that one* should never buy plastic wrap from a $0.99 (& up) store ever, unless you are strangely masochistic.

because plastic wrap is friggin' hard enough to negotiate when it's NOT super-cheap-ass wrap because you've gone that extra dollar and splurged on name brand plastic wrap like "saran."

but ohmyholyjesus, when you do find yourself in the $0.99 (& up) store, and you do buy some $0.99 (& up) plastic wrap, you will then be subjected to some unbelievably challenging Adventures in Cheap Plastic Wrap wherein you will be taught new lessons in physics and immediately have to pour more wine. because the world of super-cheap-ass plastic wrap is very, very ugly.

especially when it involves litter box mock-ups.

okay. maybe i should back up.

(fuck. i think this is now an entry. my apologies. blame the wine.)

so i decided that maybe the key to solving the riddle of the entranceway cat peeing is providing a second litter box. and before you recoil in horror at my providing only one litter box for two grown cats, please understand that my cats have lived together since they were born, and have been fine using just the one litter box until recently**.

so on sunday i went to walgreens to buy a litter box, but they didn't have one, so i bought shaving gel instead.

no, for me.

anyway.

so then last night i stopped in at the grocery store on the way home from work and discovered they didn't have a litter box, either. which was annoying and stupid so i left and didn't buy any groceries at all in an act of defiance.

(certainly my act of civil pseudo-disobedience has caused cala foods to rethink their stance on carrying litter boxes.)

so as i am storming out of the grocery annoyed at how difficult it seems to be to buy a simple, cheap plastic box (since i am not investing in an expensive plastic box until after i have conducted this experiment and have learned if a second litter box will solve my problem or simply leave my bathroom overrun with litter), i become aware of the fact that there is a $0.99 (& up) store on my way home and maybe-just-maybe they will have something.

so i stop in.

and can i just say, san francisco has some weird little stores.

i have no idea how or why this particular store was conceived. it's not like even a majority of the stuff in there is priced at $0.99.

it's just a weird, cheap-ish store with two aisles full of kitchen tools and soaps and sponges and wrapping paper and nail polish and candles and car fresheners and balloons.

and, well, also plastic bins.

except not the right kind of plastic bins. however, when one* is tired and feeling defeated, one might decide to just make due, by way of concluding: well gosh, this plastic bin is the right size and shape, who cares that there are HOLES throughout it? i will simply LINE THE SIDES of the bin with something. OH! like this here $0.99 store plastic wrap (that for some reason costs $1.99). perfect! i will buy the plastic wrap and line the plastic box and then maybe put one of those cat liner bags down and fill it with litter and see if monster doesn't think it's swell.

and that's what i did.

and because i tried to NOT make this an entry, i will NOT now detail for you the ugly, ugly elements involved in trying to:

• simply OPEN a box of non-name-brand plastic wrap
  
• find where the roll of non-name-brand plastic wrap STARTS (though i will say this is quite a trial and error process involving much scratching and cursing)
  
• pull non-name-brand plastic wrap out of the (now ripped) box without considerable tearing
  
• use the torn "edge" of a non-name-brand plastic wrap box to try and rip off one full sheet of plastic wrap without tearing it to shreds
  
• get non-name-brand plastic wrap to stick to ANYTHING, particularly the inside of a holed plastic bin (would you not think that The Physics would help you out here? because i would. i would definitely think that plastic sticks to plastic rather easily, but apparently The Physics knows i'm a dumbass)
  
• get non-name-brand plastic wrap to STOP sticking to YOU

no. i will not give you more details, but i will report that in the end, i (sort of) won. the box that the plastic wrap came in is irreparably damaged, sure. and the roll of wrap is probably not reusable.

but.

the bin eventually had wrap all around it. and i did add a plastic liner bag, and cat litter, and set up the new fresh thing in the other corner of my bathroom.

and then thanked god for wine and went to bed.

and when i got up the next morning, do you know what i found?

i found that the OTHER cat had used the new box, then spent such a considerable effort trying to bury what he'd done that he'd scratched the liner bag into the center of the box, along with the plastic wrap, so that there was just one big round torn ball of litter inside strips of plastic liner bag and plastic wrap.

and cat pee on the floor, next to it.

thankfully, i had just purchased some new $0.99 (& up) sponges as well. just in case.



*i

**except sometimes when Monster gets angry at doorways; always doorways.