Knitting Quota

before i get another warning from the knitting mafia, i thought i'd maybe fill you in on my "progress" related to knitting.

(even though at this point those of you who found this blog through a knitting webring have decided you're never coming back because there is little to no evidence that i actually do anything knitting-related at all, ever.)

(and of course those of you who read because i write about non-knitting things have probably decided to jump ship following the inadvetently controversial mayonnaise post, for which i'd not blame you.)

(so this post is for the remaining three readers. well, and the knitting keyword mafia.)

anyway, the truth -- the sad, sad truth though it is -- is that i do actually still knit.

and i haven't gotten any better.

and i haven't finished any projects since the rather imperfect snarky chemo cap, and the one gift i managed to get done in time for a birthday.

two months ago.

but again, to assuage the mafia (and perhaps satisfy some of you knitters' morbid curiosities), here is what i have been up to*:

::cue violins::

Scarf, The First

so there's a scarf i started when i went back east for Charlie's birth. yes, i know he is almost four months old. that is not the point. the point is that i started this simple scarf for no reason other than a friend asked me to. and i knitted it up diligently, and got it all the way done. because look, sometimes i'm a good friend.

except after i used all three skeins of yarn, i realized it needed four. and that required me to order more yarn. and that took three months. (not because it takes that long to get yarn, but because it takes that long for me to remember to actually order it.) and now the scarf -- as you see here -- is nearly complete!


Monster thinks i probably used 10.5s.
sorta!

because no, i haven't embarked on starting the fourth skein. and that is because, sadly, i have pretty much no idea what numbered needles i was using to do the first 3/4 of the scarf. i do know i took the needles out so that i could use them for another project (and put the 11 in it as a placeholder), but i don't remember which project.

and so um.


Scarf, The Second

rather than try and figure out how to finish the first scarf, and also while i was waiting for the fourth skein to arrive, i started my new job. and when i started, i learned that there is a Stitch 'n' Eat lunch club! at work! where we knit and eat lunch every other week! isn't that awesome?

yes!

so i couldn't come empty handed to the first session, and explain that i had had six weeks to order more yarn but hadn't managed to remember to. no. that would be bad form. we do not need the entire knitting club at work to know how pathetic my yarn sensibilities actually are (besides, i have the knitting mafia for that, thankyouverymuch).

instead, i brought with me my birthday yarn from BrianOfTheBoxedWine and looked for suggestions for what to make with it. and that is when i learned what a cool pattern RiseyP was making with her cool yarn, and decided i would do the same thing and make her a scarf. because she is my friend and i love her and i want to make something pretty for her.

you're thinking there's a "but" here, aren't you?

yeah, well. the tricky thing about RiseyP's scarf is that you have to know if you're knitting or purling EVERY SINGLE STITCH. you can't just like, blabber away while you knit, knit, knit, knit. you have to PAY ATTENTION which, for those of you who are able to do this know, means NOT TALK. and that's just silly.

thus, this is the progress i've made on that scarf. in three months:



Monster wanted to use his paw for scale.


Scarf, The Third

next we have the scarf i decided to start for Ish, who:
a. does not want a scarf, and
b. will probably not wear it.

but i wanted to start a third project because everyone was knitting checkerboard patterns and they look cool and i wanted to see if i could do one and i needed a reason.

but given that i'm using 5s again (because i totally love using tiny needles):
a. the pattern is exceptionally "understated" (which of course means you absolutely cannot tell, unless you take the scarf in your hands and examine it all up close and personal which no one does to strangers who are walking by wearing scarves, that there is a pattern in it at all), and
b. i expect to finish this scarf sometime in april. you know, in time for spring.



pictured here is an undetectable pattern. pretend it's gorgeous.

Hat

now. given that i have three scarves in the works, none of which -- i should add -- are currently fucked up and all of which -- i should likewise add -- i have enough yarn to complete, i decided to go to last month's Knit 'n' Whine at the Urban Knitting Studio and bring with me, after much debate...

...correct! nothing!

i showed up at the studio with none of my projects, opting instead to start something completely new that i will also not finish anytime soon.

and so here we have a picture of a hat, presumably for Charlie, presumably for...um...christmas? (i would say thanksgiving, but let's be realistic.)





and that's assuming i ever get it back from Monster anyway.







*photos are thumbnailed, btw. click for larger. both of you.