Suspicions Of Fatness

gotta assume this was sent in seriousness, though that's almost too hard to believe.

so yeah. i just got an email. it's mind-boggling. i mean, is it meant to be helpful? insightful? critical? useful?


so i am not taking it too seriously or personally, but thought i needed to address it some way. and i decided the best way for me to address it was to have you address it.

here's the text (directly cut & pasted). i'd love to know what you think.


Hi Kirtsty.

I really like your writing, unfortunatley you being fat means the blog itself loses some appeal, because i know i wouldnt sleep with you.

Even in the abstract, this knowlage seems to taint my enjoyment of your writing. Which is a shame.

I think it was the picture of your ass, that provided the tipping point in this respect, although I had suspicions of fatness for a while before this.

regardless keep up the good work!



  1. Sigh... where to begin.

    m: I feel sorry for you. Your e-mail suggests that you are a shallow, insensitive person. Your life will be the lesser for it. It also suggests you are unfamiliar with spellcheck, but I don't think any less of you for that. Really.

    Do you really only read the blogs of people you would sleep with? That's pathetic. (As well as a spectacular misjudgment, by the way.)

    Maybe you are still young, and this is something you will outgrow. I hope this is the case.

    k, I hope you see this for what it is, and continue to be a light to those of us who clearly see what m is missing.

  2. Perhaps you should have written him back and told him that you couldn't fully enjoy his email because of his appalling spelling abilities as well as his utter narrowmindedness.

  3. You should have written him back stating:


    You appear to have a severe case of a PP, not an MP.

    I would thank you in future to not attempt to make your case of PP into a MP.

    Thank you,


    I hate people that make people feel bad for making their personal problems into my problems. Don't let him do it.

  4. Jesus, I'd love to see the picture of your ass he refers to. It must be spectacular! He sounds like an imbecile that would have been a lousy lay anyway.
    Nothing lost here.

  5. Hmmm... Most interesting. M had suspicions of fatness about the author of a blog with a sub header that reads "Because booty is only skin deep. (and because losing weight is a bitch, blogging is cheaper than therapy, and my friends are tired of listening to me talk about knitting.)" Holy shit! That has GOT to be the shrewdest piece of deductive reasoning I have EVER seen!

    M, QUICK! Stop reading altogether (given your writing acumen, this shouldn't be too difficult) and RUN!, don't walk, to your local recruiting office of the FBI. They need the sharp as a tack problem solving skills of someone like you.

    I wonder what my life would be like if I only read indulged in the writings of people I would like to fuck. Let's see... I'm not into the necro scene, so all dead authors are off the list. I'm straight, so that takes care of the living ladies. I don't play with other people's dawgs, so that would take out the men who are the other half of a couple. I have a very distinct "type" of guy I find attractive, and there goes 80% of the single guys.

    That would leave me with, well, a lot of time on my hands... And a vocabulary that would be remarkably similar to M's.

  6. speechless, really.
    What ignorance! :/ ugh.

  7. Most people I know find intelligence to be vital to sexual attractiveness. I'm guessing M doesn't get laid often. Maybe his/her spelling errors are actually typos due to only having one hand free to type with.

  8. actually, in his own little word, M was trying to pay you a compliment.

    just imagine what a joy he must be when he's mean.

  9. crap. world, not word. i've gone and pulled an M.

  10. honestly, that is such an absurd email it made me laugh. i think "m" is serious, which makes it even more absurd.

    he can't enjoy reading something if he thinks he might find the author unattractive??!!

    he thinks it's important for you to know that he is not fully enjoying your blog because he has a thin-author fetish? (i say it's a fetish since he cannot fully enjoy reading something unless he thinks the author is thin.)

    i know there are tons of fetishes out there... but this one is new to me!

    m, keep in mind that your fetish is YOURS. it's not kristy's or anyone else's responsibility to accommodate it. if you need thin authors, by all means go find them. but try to remember that authors who are not skinny are not doing anything wrong, and there is nothing wrong with their bodies.

    moreover, it's a good bet that most, if not all, of the authors you read would not be interested in sleeping with you. so they don't care if you find them attractive. it is, therefore, unnecessary for you to inform them of whether you find them attractive or not.

    kristy, if m's email made you feel bad in any way, please know that his email was solely a reflection of him and has absolutely nothing to do with you!!

  11. What a miserable excuse for a human being.

    You can take comfort in the fact that weight is something you can change if you want to (over-simplifcation aside), whereas this jerk is going to be an ignorant fuckwad who misses out on truly amazing people, for the rest of his sorry life.

    To M: Kristy is one of the most amazing people I've had the good fortune to know, because she is hot, smart, talented, funny and a whole host of other great things, and being thusly dismissive of people like K, you are the one who loses out.

    And you know what? I'm glad, becuase people as shallow as you are, don't deserve the Kristys of our world.

  12. you all are very kind.

    please note that i posted his email more because it's truly remarkable than because it made me feel in any way inadequate. i do love that he thought he was being complimentary. i just cannot grasp what made him feel compelled to send this email. utterly fascinating.

    my favorite phrase is definitely "suspicions of fatness" (i'm going to change the title of my post to that right now). it's priceless, and oh-so-telling.

    love you guys!

  13. I think you wrote it. It's clear from many of your entries that you need to have constant validation from the people around you. Having your imaginary friends "attack" this m-person lets you get the benefits of their praise without having to come out and say "hey guys! I need you to tell me how great you think I am!"

  14. I missed the picture of your ass??




  15. Kristy, I am with you, I think it is fascinating that someone would write such a thing. Psychotic, but fascinating.

  16. I think you wrote it. ... need to have constant validation ...

    I'm not certain which is more atrocious, m's e-mail or beth's comment.

    Although I can find a smidgen of humor in m's e-mail. I cannot be silent to the blantantness of beth's comment. It's unfortunate that some only find comfort with disparaging remarks about another.

    It's difficult for me to believe that one with the strength of charachter such as k would need validation.

  17. well, beth.

    here's what i thought.

    i opened my email and read what "m" wrote. and i was offended. and while i didn't want to take it too seriously, i certainly didn't enjoy reading what he had to say.

    and it made me pause. what do i do with this? i wondered.

    could i just completely ignore it? no. i really wish i were strong enough to, but i'm not. a stranger emailed me to explain how unattractive he finds me. that's a little too harsh for me to just shrug off.

    should i write him back? well, why? and say what? i don't see any benefit in starting a correspondence with this person. is he going to change his mind? no. is that what i would ultimately want? yes. so that's pointless.

    so i thought, maybe if i just put it out there, it'll make me feel like i took action. instead of hiding it and letting it (and the anxieties it could produce in me) fester, i'm calling attention to it. "hey," i'm saying, "this isn't okay."

    and absolutely i appreciate the validation in others also saying it's not okay. so i draw a distinction: i don't need (or want or expect) others to praise me -- though that has been a sweet and humbling by-product; i DID want and hope that others would validate my sentiments. i'm not looking for anyone to tell me "you're great" but it's very assuring to have others say to me "you are right to think this email sucked, here's why..."

    so i can kind of then say, "oh? so i shouldn't let this guy get to me (any more than he already has)?" and the commenters can say, "no." and then i can say, "okay. thanks for helping me see why. i feel better."

  18. If I recall correctly, 'BETH' was critical of me during my first few weeks of blogging. I wouldn't pay any attention to remarks like that.

    K, If you weren't attractive you wouldn't have been my first (and sadly only) addition to my BILF page. I know you are far too secure in your appearance to even care what this person had to say.

    Of course, the first email I sent you was very sincere and polite and I didn't even get a response. HEH

    Just kidding!

  19. HOWEVER,

    for those of you coming late to the party here at Chez Booty, feel free to tell me how great you think my big ole' bruised butt is.

  20. beth,

    a) if kristy did want validation, why would that be a problem for you? if you did not want to validate her, you could simply move on. why is the possibility of someone wanting validation offensive to you?

    b) apparently you are unaware of the fat phobia that is rampant in this culture. you must not have noticed the glorification of thinness and the vilification of people (especially female people) who are not thin.

    the rest of us are not surprised to hear that someone is fixated on another person's weight. we're also not surprised to learn of another man who thinks that his negative opinion of a woman's body is important, so important, in fact, that he would take the time to write her an email about it. because, of course, what are women for if not to be visually pleasing to men -- all men, everywhere, all the time?

    kristy would not need to invent a person who thinks that way -- quite a few of them exist.

    c) you may have kristy's blog confused with someone else's. kristy has never used her blog to ask for validation about her physical appearance. if that's what she wanted, she would not have posted a photo of her badly bruised ass. instead, she'd have posted a photo of her non-bruised ass, with soft lighting and mood music. and she would not have posted a photo of herself drunk and wearing monster teeth. she'd definitely have photoshopped out the teeth.

    d) a blogger that primarily tells embarrassing stories about herself, along with tales of knitting debacles and falling off of a toilet, does not qualify as one who is seeking external validation. maybe i'd agree with you if she were posting catalog photos of things she didn't knit and taking credit for them, or writing about her lame friend who fell off of a toilet and how she herself is so graceful that she would never do that. but that would be someone else's blog, not kristy's.

    e) kristy is a good speller and most people who are good spellers find bad spelling irritating. i'm guessing it would take a lot to get her to compose something in her blog that was as full of spelling errors as m's message is.

    f) it must be a burden to go about life looking for something sinister in people and trying to make others feel bad. you might try not doing that, even just for a couple of hours, and see how it feels.

  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  22. Shit Kristy...I guess the cat's out the bag now. Should we tell them that you're really Beth too? Do you think we should tell them that in actuality, your regular fan base, is just your MPD morphing itself into an IIF community and each one makes it's appearance as needed? Beth felt your need for approval was too obvious in M's post so she had to step in. You've got an interesting full house in your little head. A lesbian, a comedian, a sex educator, a techie, a father figure and many other who come out just to feed this ever growing, overwhelming, insatiable, ego you've lost control of!

  23. K,
    Ever since I found your blog from an afternoon breezing the "Best of Craigslist," I've truly enjoyed every moment you share with us, invisible or not. Your thoughtful prose and truly personal expressions make my day, and you a very precious part of my day. Reality TV has nothing on you. To have other people not appreciate what you share is more than selfish on their part. Showing us the daily walk of a vital, vivacious, and yes, beautiful inside and out person is why we all gather around this glowing monitor. I am one of your invisible admirers who will always appreciate you, and defend you to the last pixel.


  24. Don't let something like this rent space in your head. Not worth the time.

  25. "Don't let something like this rent space in your head."

    Yeah it's crowded enough in here already!!!

  26. Geeez some people are not worth the space the use while on this earth. I really dislike others that have to be mean, just to be mean. It's not worth it. Kristy - Don't let him get to your head, he's not worth it. Those that say they couldn't sleep with you because of XXX, really have their own problems..I'm guessing his script of viagra has expired. (oops, I was mean - sorry!)

    have a great weekend.

  27. she'd have posted a photo of her non-bruised ass, with soft lighting and mood music.

    Kristy!? You have romantic soft-core porn shots of your ass and you haven't let me see them yet? GASP!

    and she would not have posted a photo of herself drunk and wearing monster teeth. she'd definitely have photoshopped out the teeth.

    It may just be my vampire fetish rearing its head again, but I think she looks hot in the teeth.

  28. HOT DAM-I get to follow Serrephim (whom I secretly lust after)

    K- This letter tells us more about M than K. And if you're gonna let it all hang out (and I mean ALL HANG OUT) on the 'net , ya gotta expect the 'tards to write. (NOT that I have ver been a 'tard myself...)

  29. In a world where even movie stars who can afford to go to expensive spas and have their asses sculpted hire stand-in's ANYWAY because somebody somewhere has apparently decreed that ass-gorgeousity is a crucial matter in this world, the fact that you would just put your poor wounded ass right out there on front street makes you (ONE more time!) My Hero. Damn, Kristy! You're the :-D

    And as far as m. is concerned: m. who?

  30. What a fucker. And the fucker can't spell worth a damn, either.

  31. Sadly I think m's way of thinking is indicative of where our popular culture is headed. The mentality of not wanting to to engage in a form of entertainment if you don't find the performers fuckable certainly explains the state of movies, tv and especially the music industry these days. How sad is it that even "ugly" movie roles are played by hot actresses wearing prosthetics? And you can be the most talented musician on earth, but if you're a woman and not willing to dress and dance like a stripper, good luck getting a contract. I think because jackasses like m are the ones who take the time to voice their petty opinions, they're the ones who end up getting catered to. As a result, most of my CDs are at least 10 years old, and I'm watching HGTV. Oooooor I could just be painfully unhip.

  32. I used to be heavier. I remember my appearance getting sneered at a few times, dismissively, and I remember thinking "I may be overweight, but you're ugly, and you can't change ugly." Beth, that would be you. Regardless of Kristy's motives, what could it possibly matter to you?

    The other knuckle-scraping, bottom-feeding, open-mouth-breather (M) isn't even worth mentioning. He gets a 5-star PFFT.

  33. You are completely entitled to post and "re-post" anything you like! So... be colourful, dramatic and true to what your are feeling. I find your blog addictive and would be let down if you became less reflective.


  34. For what it's worth...I'll sleep with you if you really need me to......

  35. oh. my. god.
    and again, i raise the question -- who are these people who are wasting time reading blogs they don't enjoy? do m. and beth really have so little else in their lives that they have loads of time to waste reading stuff they don't like? wtf??

  36. "Do you really only read the blogs of people you would sleep with?"

    I read yours.

  37. Who knows. this could be the begining of an interesting relationship...

    I pray for honest friends every day.

    I might be wrong though.

    I mean after all my Mr. right is here with me in our apartment and has put a ring on my finger and my "mr. big" has just emailed me after 5 years of nothing...

    CRAP I am selfish.

    sorry. You are awesome.

    I suck

    p.s. I am so drunk I had to ask Mr. right how to spell selfish...I actually almost put sephish....or spelfish...
    damn wine...

  38. K,
    Some people just suck. Fortunately, your blog does not. I am disturbed to think that someone would take the time to email something so heinous and low-brow. Fuck M & Beth. And speaking to Beth, thank Goddess you are here to give your inane and obviously unqualified pseudo-psychological evaluation. Cheers! Love you K!

  39. Kristy, you get the best trolls ever. I'm jealous.

  40. His (and I'm just assuming it's a him) spelling seems to taint my enjoyment of his writing ...

  41. k - you have a lot of grace when dealing with detractors, although I think m was trying to be nice in his odd, unskilled way. What I hate about this blog is the annoying, knee jerk reactors who blindly curse at anyone who gives you negative feedback. can you teach them some manners?

  42. Well, it seems as though previous commenters have said all the things I would have suggested as responses to that loon, but I still have to say that it creeps me out to think that there is someone reading knitting blogs and thinking whether or not he would like to sleep with the writers.

  43. "hey, stop cursing" um...

    So now you want to judge and censor the way people express themselves on SOMEONE ELSE'S blog??!!!! I find your post much more offensive than any amount of swearing on this blog or any other FREE FORUM!!! Figures this would come from someone who would defend the real offensive post. God Damned, fucking, shit for brains, cock-sucking hyprocritical bitch/bastard!

  44. I make my living alternately excusing and/or indicting other peoples' behaviors (depending on who is paying the bill) using fancy $2M words and lots of run on sentences, but this has left me speechless.

    The ignorance of M. doesn't surprise me. That is a given.

    It is the proactive malice that is required to communicate such a thought. It is breathtaking (and not in a good way).

    Am. So. Appalled.

    What a loser.

  45. what's wrong with a little knee-jerk, blind cursing??


    funny how some people are just soooo vapid .. you just have to sit back and laugh.

  46. huh. the "knowlage" of his supreme intellect just makes me... wet.

  47. Kristy, if you would make it a policy to only read the email of people who can spell, then you might avoid the M's of this world. But of course, you have a lot more character than the fellow who wrote in ;)

    Keep writing your lovely blog!


  48. Am I the only one who doesn't sleep with bad spellers?

    Hi M,

    I really liked your email, unfortunately your being a bad speller means the email itself looses all legitimacy, because I know I wouldn't sleep with you.

    Even in the abstract, this knowledge seems to taint my respect for your writing. Which is a shame.

    I think it was the way you spelled Kristy and your inappropriate comma usage that proved to be the tipping point, although I had suspicious of your illiteracy before this.

    Regardless, thanks for the input!


  49. k- it is definitely a hard one to classify. it's not really mean (though it is), and it's not really well-intentioned (though it is), and it's not really funny (though it is). it's just kind of a weird fact sitting there in the living room. in other words, i understand why you posted it.

    clearly the thing to do here is to hire a detective to find out who m is, and then start sending him flowers-- lots of them, every day-- but WEIRD flowers, like not only immense, overgrown roses and strangely out-of-place daffodils, but also ones that give off pungent, meaty scents, or have long penis-like outgrowths, or little mouths with teeth. then after a few days of that you start in with the letters, which should be about your feelings for him and how they are growing (without, of course, ever saying exactly what kind of feelings they are). and then-- and only then-- you start talking about how you've been thinking about buying a gun because of the weird noises you've been hearing lately whenever you press your ear against the tiles of the bathroom floor.

    just, you know, to give him something to think about. with turnabout being fair play and all.

  50. Aren't we missing the real important thing here? Where are the 'after' pics of your ass, K?

    And M, Beth sounds real skinny, and is clearly used to being fucked -- maybe you two could get a room and compare inadequacies for a little while...

  51. holy crap.
    i hope he never finds someone who will like him.
    the jerk.

    grrr. your imaginary internet friends here would beat him up for you.

  52. I think you wrote it, too. I mean, why else would you go on and on and on and on and... just to defend the fact that you honestly, swear to god, didn't write it? If you didn't write it, and some one thinks you did, who cares? Obviously you feel you have something to defend.

    I hope you get some tougher skin. Maybe you should ask Santa for that this year?

  53. Adam, where do you get Kristy going on and on and on defending that she didn't write it? Am I missing something here? Which wouldn't be unusual, but I went back and read her posts and I just don't see that.

    That's awesome. I love the grammar.
    Retarded people are funny.

  55. It's obvious to me now! 'M', 'Beth' and 'Adam' are the same immature person. 'M' started the fire and then he posed as 'Beth' and 'Adam' to add more fuel to the fire.

    It's obvious the majority of readers believe Kristy to be a funny, brilliant and of course sexy woman who doesn't deserve this treatment. From now on we should try and turn a blind eye to those who are only out to hurt others.

    Or we could bring back stoning and he/they could be the first victim(s).

  56. He seens very polite. Perhaps if he met you he might even kirtsy. dad

  57. K - As all of your other IIF's (and real F's too) have already exposed M for what he is (Sad) I won't add fuel to the fire.

    But I do ask... What it is with people that think it is perfectly acceptable to share their "opinions" as justification to say mean things? What ever happened to "if you don't have something nice to say..."


    In other news... I'm half in love with Ish myself! Definately a keeper...

  58. i'd love to know what you think

    My mistake for thinking Kristy actually meant what she said. I didn't realize that there was a hidden instruction: I'd love to know what you think-- as long as what you think involves smearing "M" and reassuring me that I am sexy.

  59. Beth, you made a personal attack against K. You will note that she did not provide his name in her post (if he was brave enough to give it) and her request was to know others' opinions on the email, not necessarily on him.

    You, on the other hand, wasted no time accusing K of being narcissistic and seeking validation.

    Shame on you!

  60. Dan, it would seem the root of blogging at length about your personal life stems from narcissim and/or a need for validation. Neither of those are necessarily a bad thing. Every single person on this planet seems to have moments of one or the other.

    I don't think it was all that much of a stretch in thinking that Kristy wrote it. The whole thing sounded contrived to me and I said so.

  61. hey beth,

    don't get me wrong. it's not that i don't appreciate being told i'm a desperate liar -- i totally do. your malicious insight is refreshing.

    in fact, if you (and Shull) hadn't beaten me to the punch, i'd suggest that maybe i am really making YOU up, and using you as a vehicle for expressing my deep-seated self-loathing.

    personally, i think that would've been a much more interesting accusation. but whatever. beggars can't be choosers.

  62. Recently I've been seeking an answer to this important question: Why is it that mean, dumb people manage to have an inflated sense of their own importance, an unshakeable self-confidence, while I have such a dearth of confidence?

    M typifies this conundrum. How is it that he, who can't spell his way out of a paper bag, feels secure in his assumption that if they were to meet, it would be he who turned down Kristy, not the other way around?

  63. Holy hell!

    M, I HATE people like you. What exactly does Kristy's weight have to do with her appeal as a writer? And seriously, invest in spellcheck.

    K, I love you. We ALL love you. Delete that moron's e-mail and don't ever think of it again. He's obviously suffering from some sort of brain-eating disease.

  64. Beth,

    I just want to point out that no one, not k, not anyone else here, is suggesting you don't have the right to express your opinion.

    Given where you chose to express it, the reaction you've gotten should come as no surprise. There's no instruction saying that you *have* to attack M and reassure k. That just happens to be the prevailing line of thinking here. You just can't come onto someone else's blog, level a highly personal and insulting accusation, and not expect some blowback.

    I also note that this string of comments has become more about Beth than about k. Is there any chance that you're subconscious is saying, "what about me? Let's pay attention to Beth?" Who's the narcissist again?

  65. I have two takes on this.

    First, I love getting emails like M's, or puerile comments like beth's (and I do). I mean, there's some loony gits out there, and many of them have internet access. People like this are obviously losers, and for me, they're entertaining like guests on the Jerry Springer show. Granted, I don't make a habit of watching the Jerry Springer show, but if it's on at a pub, I laugh along.

    My other perspective is that these people are just mentally disturbed. With these type of people in particular, many of them have some degree of psychopathy (aka antisocial personality disorder or sociopathic personality disorder). The anonymity of the net, with the latitude in free speech, gives these people a forum to express their diseased self, unlike in their real life where they are usually socially impotent. People like this generally don't have any friends or close relationships so they use the net to lash out.

    So piss off to M and beth. You have a good blog. You kind of remind me of my sister, and my sister rocks.


    i am totally guilty of knee-jerk reacting to beth's comments. my offense clouded my thinking considerably.

    WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED to discuss here (and open comments to) are the sociological underpinnings/implications of 'm's email to me. such as:

    *do most/many people need to feel sexually attracted to authors in order to appreciate their writing? or is that just in the blogosphere?

    *why would a guy feel the compulsion to email me to tell me he doesn't find me attractive, but that i'm a good writer anyway? why would someone do that? i am seriously curious. does he feel better for rejecting me? does he think i can learn something?

    *how is his emailing me/this being through the internet different from how he might behave in real life?

    anyway, there are others, but those were the major points i thought we could discuss here -- and many of you have offered pretty interesting perspectives.

  67. I know these sentiments have already been expressed, but I couldn't NOT comment.
    It always amazes me that there are people who spend so much time and energy on finding fault with things that...well, don't need to have fault found in them. If you need more proof, look at the movie message boards on IMDb.

    Beth: Why is it so hard to believe that Kristy received this letter from a real person? She has popular blog (popular because it's awesomely entertaining), she lives in a big city, and has an enviable social life. Think about how many people she must interact with, both actively and passively. If you don't believe it's a real letter, why bother expressing it? Move on, please. There must be other lonely, bitter people out there for you to commisserate with.

    And as for m: I don't think any more needs to be said.

    Kristy, I'm not alone when I say, "I think you rock!"

  68. K,

    First of all I laughed when I read your reply to Beth (after she replied to me) and I loved that Ish backed you up. The two of you are great!

    Second, getting back to what you were seeking in the first place, I think I am more apt to initially read a blog from someone who is appealing to me. That doesn't necessarily mean attractive, just appealing. Sure most people judge based on looks alone, society has bred that in us. Would I read a blog from someone that I found to be ugly? I may read a post or two and if the writing was also ugly then I'd move on. I don't find myself attracted to Ish (sorry man!) but I read his blog because I like what he has to say.

    Anyway, I could reply to your other questions however this comment would be quite long and I don't think others want to hear what I have to say. Perhaps I'll write it out and email it to you? ;-)

  69. Where to begin? Ah, your ass!

    Firstly NICE BRUISE! I'm going to have to read the archives! Once I started reading I just kept going forward but now I see the riches of the past as well.

    Secondly NICE ASS! I just don't get where someone thinks it's fat. I guess people think if you weigh more than 90 lbs you're fat. It looks pretty normal to me (excepting the bruise). That needed more than a kiss to make it better I'll bet.

    Moving on: I can think of many reasons why people would send you such rude and obnoxious emails.

    Some people will do anything to generate a controversy even if it's only to get some attention. It seems reasonable to think that even an idiot could deduce from your blog that you would post such an email for comment. Apparently one did.

    Others think they are so wise that their opinions, no matter how rude or ill thought out, should be shared for the betterment of the world at large.

    "Thanks so much for calling me a pathetic liar." - loved that response.

    Politeness is lost in our society, especially behind the anonymity of electronic communications. Whose mom failed to tell them "If you don't have something nice to say keep your big mouth shut"?

    As usual one must rise above the ignorant and petty by giving them all the attention they deserve: None.

  70. *do most/many people need to feel sexually attracted to authors in order to appreciate their writing?

    ha! no.

    or is that just in the blogosphere?
    honestly, m's email to you is the first i'd heard of people caring whether an author is attractive. whether it's just about blog authors or includes authors of books, newspaper articles, and office memos, i have no idea. it's one of the most ridiculous things i have ever heard.

    *why would a guy feel the compulsion to email me to tell me he doesn't find me attractive, but that i'm a good writer anyway? why would someone do that? i am seriously curious. does he feel better for rejecting me? does he think i can learn something?

    as i mentioned above, he seems to have a thin-author fetish in addition to what is, unfortunately, an all too common masculine delusion that his view of women's bodies matters, and should matter, to the object of his attention.

    i believe he most certainly thinks you can and should learn something from what he wrote. as a qualified armchair psychologist, i feel safe in saying that he is the narcissistic one in this picture. he believes that the way he feels about your weight is likely typical of how others feel. he is helping you by telling you because he is quite certain that if you would lose weight, you'd have legions more fans. these future fans are just waiting on the sidelines and he's trying to let you know why. plus, he would like to enjoy your blog fully, so he is hoping you will help him out by losing weight.

    he also may show signs of obliviousness to the possibility that comments about your weight might be hurtful to you. alternatively, he may be malicious and actually want to hurt you. if the latter is the case, he is suffering from a psychotic degree of fat phobia along with misogyny.

    *how is his emailing me/this being through the internet different from how he might behave in real life?

    that is one thing that i hope none of us finds out! i think he's best left inside the computer. :)

    that said, i know we've all met people like him in real life. fortunately, many of them tend to be pretty transparent, which facilitates identifying the problem quickly. and then you see someone across the room that you just have to talk to...

  71. why would a guy feel the compulsion to email me to tell me he doesn't find me attractive... -- booze

    but that i'm a good writer anyway? why would someone do that?... -- again, booze

    i am seriously curious. does he feel better for rejecting me? -- nope. he's secretly hoping you have more ass pictures that you'll post to prove him wrong.

    does he think i can learn something? -- yep. the over powering wonder that is his penis

  72. nope. he's secretly hoping you have more ass pictures that you'll post to prove him wrong.

    Dammit, El G. I didn't think anyone was going to figure it out.

    Sorry, K. It was me, and El G is right.

    I just wanted more ass shots.

    It won't happen again.

  73. k, i have two things to say:

    i can't believe that anyone could possibly read your blog and NOT be (a) amazed by you tremendous writing ability and (b) honored that you allow us into the most deeply personal parts of your life. and i'm not talking about falling while sitting on the toilet (though that was truly hilarious and something i have also done, though i was drunk)-- i'm talking about posts like your tribute to your mom's birthday. for m to read that and then write anything remotely related to "suspicions of fatness," well, there are just no words.

    which brings me to my second point-- you are cool. m and beth are not. perhaps i've over-simplified things, but this has been my general operating principle of life since middle school and it works well for me.

    see you tonight.

  74. Um, was the email because you're tripping over yourself to sleep with him? What nerve to tell someone you're good at what you do and all, but your fatness doesn't do it for me. WTF?! "Suuspicions of fatness"? That statements boggles the mind.

    Just take it that you're so great Kristy, you attract all the weirdos. ;)

  75. Love the complete butchering of your name there.

    But anyway, have you ever heard of Tucker Max? If not, check him out at his name dot com. For some reason, this reminds me of him.

  76. K asked:

    "*do most/many people need to feel sexually attracted to authors in order to appreciate their writing? or is that just in the blogosphere?"

    No, normal people do not feel that need.

    "*why would a guy feel the compulsion to email me to tell me he doesn't find me attractive, but that i'm a good writer anyway? why would someone do that? i am seriously curious. does he feel better for rejecting me? does he think i can learn something?"

    It's just his opinion.. Get over it.

    "*how is his emailing me/this being through the internet different from how he might behave in real life?"

    I doubt many people would express their opinions so boldly in person.

  77. It's so odd to me that people will make the effort to comment to or email blog writers just to say mean or ignorant things to them. Just to start a fight or make the writer feel badly about him or herself. Why bother? If you don't like a blog, or its author, then go click on something else, and leave the real discussion to the rest of us.

    But I have to admit, the idea of printed matter losing its appeal because the reader isn't attracted to/wouldn't sleep with the writer is fascinating. Do you think this was M's excuse for doing poorly in English class (as is evidenced by the spelling and grammar mistakes)? "Oh, I'd be doing better in class and have more interest in the subject if I could imagine fucking Strunk & White."

  78. Beth, I mean pooh, said...

    Dan, it would seem the root of blogging at length about your personal life stems from narcissim and/or a need for validation. Neither of those are necessarily a bad thing. Every single person on this planet seems to have moments of one or the other.

    I don't think it was all that much of a stretch in thinking that Kristy wrote it. The whole thing sounded contrived to me and I said so.

    If I may ask, what the fuck does that say about YOU, the woman who not only takes her time in reading about other people's lives (clearly you don't know K in real life....or DO YOU!) - but actually takes time to post spitefull comments on her personal life?

    Tell you what, puss...
    you run along back to Psych 101 and try doin' that midterm over again, ok sweetie?

    In other words, fuck off. This blog is here for people's enjoyment not for your ridicule.

    Don't like it? Move on.


    ps- to k's dad: sorry, sir. i tried sticking to the clean language but the idiot got to me :) and, good job on raising your daughter.

  79. Isn't it funny how the longer you know and love someone for who they are, the prettier they seem? (yeah, ok- i stole that from The Truth About Cats and Dogs- sue me) I think anyone who reads your blog faithfully cannot deny how increasingly beautiful you've become, K, and you were beautiful to start with. Even without pictures. It's all in the words.

    And it works both ways. To Beth and M, you've gotten uglier and uglier as this has gone on. You don't piss me off, you make me feel sorry for you.

    And hey, thanks for showing us who you two really are- I like knowing who I'll have to avoid in the future.

  80. I haven't had 81 comments in the 4 months I've been blogging. Oops. 82 now!

    That must say something about the quality of writer, and person, K is.

    Ok. I'll stop commenting now. (this is addictive!!)

  81. I read this originally yesterday afternoon and thought I’d leave commenting till I was bored at my desk today…but it looks like it’s all been said! The staggering number of comments here proves K’s vast popularity. I’m guessing that popularity is precisely what spurred M’s e-mail and the subsequent comments by Beth. For a nobody (by that I mean a socially inept mean-spirited low-life with no real friends) the best way to get some desperately needed attention is to take a cheap shot at the popular girl. You really do get the best trolls, I’m jealous too ;)

  82. another fun sociological examination - why does everyone assume "m" is a man?

    keep up the great stuff, K. I love reading your musings and misadventures, if only because the same shit happens to me.

  83. hmmm... don't we all prefer to read others' blogs that we connect with in some way?

    I tend to prefer blogs whose authors appear to be similar to me in some way. have some similar interests or experiences. perhaps I'm shallow, but blogs that I can't relate to at all don't get a second glance.

    just a little more food for thought.

  84. Its not about the fat girl and her blog.

    Its about her self-appointed internet support group.


  85. Whatever - m obviously isn't a very interesting or good person. And Beth, WHATEVER....she couldn't be more wrong. Apparently she is the one who needs attention. I don't like her.

  86. I can see the humor in M's email, although offensive and harsh.

    But, it's not like he goes around telling every woman he finds unattractive what he thinks, so the email was inappriate.

    And what's up with the word validation stuff being 50 letters long??

  87. Uh, Twatmaster, dude?

    That chick you're fucking in your blog? No offense to her, I'm sure she's nice and all, and she looks cute enough. But Kristy is WAY hotter, confirming my suspicions: you couldn't get a Kristy if you paid her. And that's really what this is all about, isn't it?

  88. Ah, Serrephim my dear. It's not me hosing that cumbucket on my blog. Its my little brother getting stuck into his 21st birthday present. Trying her out first for myself would have cost extra.

    I'm thinking of printing it, and making it into a card for him.

    They say when you make something with your own hands, it means so much more. You know what I mean princess?

  89. Masher,

    Um, Just Ew.

    If you are the M who emailed Kristy in the first place, things are much clearer to me now.

    That men like you exist, and ever get any booty, makes me ashamed to be a woman.

  90. I'm sure there are many reasons for you to be ashamed of being a woman.

    Shall we chalk that up as just one of many?

  91. I'm sure there are many reasons

    No, it's just the one.

  92. Kristy, dude, your comments are completely out-of-control.

  93. yes, jake, but there are almost 100 of them. i think at 100, this entry becomes like a phoenix and goes up in smoke.

    or something.

  94. You could just change the "allow new comments" option to no rather than get rid of the entire entry...

    Some of the comments were out of line but others were entertaining, as was the original post.

  95. A fat ass is always preferable to shit fer brains.


  96. Twatmasher wins the Norman Bates Memorial Misogyny Award™.

  97. Eeek! Twatmasher's blog is NSFW. (also NSFHumans...)

  98. Um...a friend just told me to come back to this string...that I wouldn't believe how it degenerated. Twatmasher...whoa, you are just a disgusting pig. I think if you are M then I was right in saying your spelling errors are due to you only having one hand free. I think you're probably 35 and still live in your mommy's basement and about all the "twat" you "mash" is in your fist! You'd better go wash your hands now, I think she's calling you for dinner.

  99. Jebus! I read M's email and the first thing I thought was my suspicion of his penis, which I guess is really really small.

  100. el gallo-- norman bates wasn't a mysogynist. you must be thinking of his mother.

  101. I can't belive someone would right that to anyone. Everyone has flaws, but only your family or close friends should bring them up and not like that.

  102. I have it on good authority that Twatmasher smells like pretzels.

  103. or at least his teetiny lil cock does!!

  104. Hi K, this is my first time visiting your blog. I found you through whinger.

    I can't resist commenting on this post. My god, does the guy think that just by the act of blogging, you (or me, or anyone else) is inviting people to consider sleeping with them?

    Clearly, this is someone you don't want hanging around.


  105. What about a suspicion of stupid-ness?? Ugh. People make me sick. Like Stacy says, I'll take a fat ass over shit fer brains. Dick.

  106. Amazingly, I have a brother-in-law who is startlingly similar to m, only in real life, and verbally, not blogging-ly.

    He seriously would say something like this--only not to the person's face. He would say it to others, though.

    For example, he once was talking about a woman he saw doing her fitness walk in the park, and he said, "And she had NO BUSINESS wearing what she was wearing." To which I replied, "Um, no business? She's supposed to check with you now before she leaves the house? Because women are supposed to dress for your approval anyway?"

    And he replied, "No, I said that because she was fat, and the clothes were not attractive."

    ....(wait for it).......

    Then I said, "Um, how is it that you are the person who now decides if a woman is 'fat'? How do you know that woman wasn't the smallest she's ever been in her life? She was on a fitness walk. Furthermore, why does it matter to you? Do women exist to sexually stimulate you, and no other reason?"

    At which point, he got all twitchy and walked away from me.

    So, just so you know, there are some people who might say something like this, in real life.

    Which is very scary.

  107. p.s. (I don't know why that "anyway" is in there. It should probably say "at all times." That makes more sense. My fingers got away from me on the keyboard.)


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