I get it now.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy. My body, for whatever reasons, adapted to it quite well. I eased into it and never got that sudden kind of "what on EARTH is happening to my body???" feeling that so many women do, especially when they're spending the first three months puking their brains out.
Here I am after. And now I'm feeling the effects. Now I'm going through some slow, torturous hormonal adjustment period that I'm not entirely sure will ever end.
I was THRILLED when, 10 weeks after giving birth, I was feeling (reasonably) rested and energized and could not WAIT to get into the gym. ME! Excited about the gym! And I started eating better and even lost my taste for bad foods (the kinds that were absolutely required in my third trimester).
Apparently that was a phase, too. One I'm trying to reclaim, yes, but still.
I can't even begin to describe the hormonal imbalances I'm feeling now. Way worse than wondering why I'm crying at the sad mop in the commercial. No. I FEEL my moods shift. One day I am happy to eat a balanced meal, the next day I am so ravenously hungry that I become a bottomless pit and want to eat for days and days. My hair has started that awesome stage of postpartum fall-out (sexy!). One week my skin will look as blemished as it's looked since I was a teenager, the next week it's as clean and smooth and fresh-looking as it's ever looked ever in my life. I am gung-ho about the gym one day, and the next it's all I can do to get dressed. I'm not depressed (there is no sadness, no dread)...it's just...my moods, energy levels, appetite, concentration are alllllll over the map.
Four months after giving birth. WAHOO.
I know I need to just rein it in. I need to take control, keep my diet balanced now more than ever (yay, protein!) and force myself to go to the gym.
The problem is that those swim classes I relished at first now seem like giant hurdles. I like the classes (obviously, I need my regular dose of Doris), but what was at first the best way for me to get out of the house -- having a scheduled class that required planning to get to, and allowed me a full 1.15 hrs away from the baby -- now just takes too much energy. Even if I drive instead of choosing to walk and push the stroller, the whole expedition is going to take at least two full hours. Which isn't the end of the world, but two hours is a lot when everything else takes ten times as long to do.
So, I'm working on figuring something else out, and trying not to eat my weight in sugar in the meantime.
At least I got Ish to bring the last of the Halloween candy into work with him.