Tonight's a cappella rehearsal began with a discussion of skinny jeans. The conversation was led by the Loosie who works at GAP. (Not in the stores, mind you; at their corporate offices.)
For the record, skinny jeans is a trend that I have ignored and will continue to ignore until probably forever. LA LA LA JINGLE BELLS I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY BOOT-CUTS, SKINNY JEANS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY.
It's not because I don't have skinny legs. All things considered, I DO have skinny legs. Well, I mean, relatively speaking.
Note: despite that my legs have like, ZERO flab below the thigh, my calves are still somehow giant and I cannot wear 90% boots and it makes me sad. Apparently, ~16" is GIANT.
Remember in the 80s when everyone wore giant tops and leggings and big socks? That worked for me then because I was young and skinny and I could have worn anything anyway.
But today's skinny jeans look is NOT the look of the 80s. Today's tops aren't boxy and 17 sizes too big. (Also, you do not pair them with crimped hair and frosted pink Wet 'n' Wild lipstick.) They are curve-hugging and, well.
The effect of me -- with my excessive top-heavy-ness -- in skinny jeans and an on-trend top would be like...well...picture a bowling ball balancing on a golf tee.
Worse yet if paired with heels.