Was That A Compliment?

for discussion and/or feedback:

a few years ago i went on a date with a guy who told me i was beautiful. i was probably the weight i am right now. he said to me, "you know, if you gained a little weight, you could be a plus-size model."

hmm. on the one hand, that's a nice thing to say. no matter how we might feel about them, i think most women wouldn't mind being told they could be models.

on the other hand, my problem then/now is that i don't think i want to be a plus-size anything. there was something about what he said...something that suggested i should be okay with being my size.

am i being too sensitive? is "you could be a plus-size model" a compliment?


  1. It was a compliment. You said yourself that he thought you were beautiful. The "plus-size model" part does not sound insulting, it sounds realistic. For the most part, only very tall, underweight women can become non-plus-size models. And many plus-size models are not particularly big. In answer to your question, I do think that you are perhaps overly sensitive to still be thinking about this comment from a few years ago. Giving any part of your self-esteem to someone you once dated seems unhealthy. Just 2 cents from someone who happened upon your blog.

  2. I can totally relate to this post, and while the person who commented above had some very good points, it's never easy to be referred to as plus-size. Especially given that a very high percentage of adult American women are size 14+!

    What if we changed the sizing category names to:

    0-4 Anorexic
    6-8 Underfed
    10-12 Proportionate
    14-16 Average
    18-20 Above Average
    22+ Average Plus

    Oh, and the above sizing chart would be appropriate for *my* frame (5'8", healthy-boned)

    Each woman would have their own version of this chart ;-)

  3. As someone who is a size 2 and is not anorexic, I find riseyp's scale incredibly insulting. I eat well and exercise, but am not fanatical about either.

    It would be REALLY nice if women could feel good about themselves without denigrating other women.

    It is just as unfair for you to deem women my size as "anorexic" or "underfed" as it is for me to deem women who are larger than me one of the many insulting terms out there.

  4. There’s definitely something to be said for being okay with yourself, whatever size you may be. That said, the guy who told you that sounds like a troll!

    Years ago my sister tried to get into modeling. One day I was with her on an appointment and her agent told me I would make a great plus size model (I was a size 10!). I nearly jumped over the desk to smack him.

  5. In regards to the above anonymous post, by Ms. size 2, I think she needs to relax. I'm a size 8 now, 6 when I'm trying, and I don't feel the least bit offended by the chart or being "underfed". It's a cute little joke. It's sort of funny how I see myself now as waaaay too big and out of shape, and someone else calls it "underfed". Anyway, I think Ms. size 2 missed the point and should relax.


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