Friday, December 15, 2006

Yo Yo'self.

I am writing this from a cafe where my lunch consisted of a poppy-seed bagel and coffee (because it was also my breakfast even though it's well after noon because this is what happens when you work from home and sit down at your computer sometime before 8 a.m. to "check email" and then it's four hours later and you haven't had caffeine yet and that explains why the soulful look from your cat made you a little weepy).

Yes, the caffeine should restore my chemical equilibrium.

In the meantime, I feel like I should point out that um. I'm not sure what it is about this particular cafe, but I am entirely surrounded by men on laptops and I swear that every one of them is gay. How does that happen? Did they all call each other this morning?

And also it is totally destroying my Gay Man Ideals because none of them are on Macs. Witnessing a gay man using a clunky, old-edition Dell laptop in the high-tech Bay Area is kind of like witnessing a gay man wearing acid washed jeans.

On the plus side, I guess I don't have to worry if I have poppy seeds nestled between my teeth or stuck to my chin the way I would if I thought the men would be checking me out.

Whew.

I have no explanation for the man directly next to me, either. He is an older Asian gentleman in a baseball cap with gray Fu Manchu facial hair who, as far as I can tell, has come to this internet cafe with his laptop to play the online slot machines.

* * * *

Last night was the BlogHer Holiday Meet-Up and I think it was an overall success. I didn't know how stressed I was about it until last night, post-party, when I felt a tremendous release.

Now I just have 729 things to do before I leave for Massachusetts. In five days.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

* * * * *

TheBoy (I think I should just call him "T" from now on, seeing as he was TheBoy when we were dating and that ship's sailed and we're friends and whatever) T sent me this link today about all the blog cliches currently suffering from tremendous overuse.

I have been thinking about this for a long time myself, because the more blogs I read (and write), the more I realize we're many of us starting to sound alike.

I am not posting the link because I'm cranky about it because I use EVERY ONE OF THEM.

Fine. Here it is. Read it and weep. (And not from caffeine deprivation in this case.)

In my defense, I've been writing like this (this = cliched vernacular circa Clueless) in my emails and casual correspondence since long before I knew what a blog was.

But okay. Point taken. Yo.

12 comments:

  1. You know what I'd like to see?

    How about a moratorium on bloggers complaining about the vernacular other bloggers use?

    This guy wants to be an elitist? He should write the next great American novel. Otherwise, he's just a blogger like everyone else and in no way superior.

    I still find ZOMG and STFU hysterical. I use the word Oy almost everyday, and I mean in person, in my speech, not just my writing.

    Language is fluid and ever changing with each use. This post you link to seems to me the equivalent of the cranky old man next door yelling at the kids to get off his lawn.

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  2. I know why the guy was playing slots in the internet cafe.

    Many guys do what they call "gnoming" which means to gamble online under several different names. The casinos track the IP addresses to prevent this so sometimes you need a fresh IP address to play from.

    I hang around weird boys too much.

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  3. Ooh.

    That hurt a little bit. I DID agree with him on a few points, though.

    But I also think it's just shitty to pick on other people's writing. Most likely if your chosen medium is blogging, you aren't even trying to adhere to anybody's high falutin writing standards.

    He can suck it.

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  4. Gay guys check out how a girl is dressed and groomed more than the straight ones (they are brutal sometimes to girls!)... just food (poppy seeds?) for thought and insult to injury on a tough day... nothing more insecurity inspiring than getting the gasp and recoil from the gay onlooker... (vs not getting the eye of being checked out... ) oh well.

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  5. (and come to think of it, nothing is more rock solid confirming and shoulders back hair flipping affirming when a gay guy says you look fabulous!)

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  6. That list is snottily written and sounds like not really blogging discourse so much, but the entire writing and even speaking discourse of our time period. Picking at that is just dumb. It's omnipresent because it's just the discourse of our culture. Get used to it. Should we start blogging in another time period's discourse, like Middle English? (I'm also a little grumpy and exhausted...every time I try to sleep I have dreams that I'm taking exams, or dreams about the evolution of plants.)
    Anyway, I like your writing style. Otherwise I would not have been reading your blog for over a year and sending the address to my friends.

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  7. Hey, acid-wash jeans are kinda-sorta coming back!

    Then again, I live in IOWA, where they never left.

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  8. first, i vouch for k on her use of "cliched vernacular" writing style way before gore gave us the internet.

    second, (and i realize this isn't really the point or intention of k's post, there's nothing wrong with, or particularly gay or not gay, about non-Mac laptops. having lived and worked in the tech industry in said bay area, for the most part i found the split of mac users and pc users to be about the same as anywhere - artists/designers, students and those in the various publishing professions usually use macs and then most everyone else uses pcs. the only difference i've noted is that mac users in the bay area seem to hold a much more altruistic, missionary zeal about using macs, somehow attributing their usage to superior sensibilities, and not thinking for a second that they were gulping down apple's brand marketing campaigns by the gallon. to be clear, i like macs, have used them plenty and have no problem with them. i just fine it ammusing that people buy into the "mac = free thinking techie rebel" tripe (again, not saying k was buying into that, just commenting about an issue near and dear). i realize no one else other than me cares about this, but i don't hold my tongue all that well.

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  9. april - that's *fascinating*. thanks for the info. i have no doubt that the man has a gambling problem, based on the couple hours i spent next to him.

    jester, jenny, sarah - you know, the more i thought about the gawker post yesterday, the angrier and angrier i got. rather than be SNARKY and formulate the list in terms of what "shouldn't" be used anymore, why not compile a list of common turns of phrase, expressions, and modern writing devices that people use and why they're relatable.

    if i had the energy, i'd write a satire of that post. it would be from a newspaper to authors-at-large, about 100 years ago, asking that they please stop using such "devices" as main male characters with hubris; women who need rescuing; dramatic irony; references to the past (e.g., flashbacks); allegory; or falling action after the climax because *yawn* those are REALLY getting old.


    nate - i get what you're saying, but i think that the overall mac love and perspective has shifted. it's no longer about being "different" or a rebel. mac's far too ubiquitous now for that.

    instead, i think it's very simply about elegance of design and, yes, brand. i think all mac lovers buy into the brand strategy knowingly.

    the ceo of target said (with an eye toward wal-mart, to be sure): "there can only be one low-cost leader. after that, everything else is design."

    and of course my gay-man point was intended as tongue-in-cheek, in the mass over-generalization of macs = pretty, gay men like pretty things, gay men = macs.

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  10. I don't see how the cliche-vity is even a big deal. I like your blog. We like your blog. We continue to read, so who gives a donkey's behind, right?

    AM I RIGHT PEOPLE???

    Keep blogging, screw "the man" and his odd ways of making you feel like less of a blogger than you really are!

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  11. Interesting list he has. ;)

    Yesterday, I proudly coined a not often used phrase (at least in my book), "headupyourassland", in my blog. Then I promptly hid it from readers so my exhusband's girlfriend wouldn't find it then scream and yell and rant to said exhusband about how terrible I am and what a victim she is, which would then cause him to get all uppity and behave in a headupyourasslandish sort of way towards me.

    If it fits, wear it. :)

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  12. what a douchebag gawker must be to write that post.

    k, keep on being you, keep on writing exactly how you want to write, when you want to write it.

    and if gawker wants cliche, here's one for him: bite me.

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