Is It Okay...

...if I feel worn out from Christmas shopping and I haven't even left my house to do it?

In the last, say, two days, I have spoken to my sisters about a hundred million times, been to quite possibly hundreds of online stores, and sent no fewer than 15 emails all in the name of finding the perfect gifts.

It's a new kind of holiday shopping stress, I guess. Now that we have all the resources in the universe at our fingertips, what is our excuse for spending $45 on something when you might possibly maybe could be able to get it for $41.50 with free shipping? And once you have found yourself thinking this way, the madness begins.

I can get this Widget at Store X for $45. Shipping isn't really very good, though. Still, I can also get that Hoo-Ha and Whatsit here, too. That is a pretty good collection of things. But man. Store Y has the Widget for $41.50 and with free shipping. Yay! Oh, but they don't have the Hoo-Ha, they only have the Hoo-Hee. Is that good enough? The prices are comparable. Would my sister mind getting the Hoo-Hee? Fucking Store Y doesn't carry anything like the Whatsit though. Maybe I should forget the Whatsit altogether. I really love my free shipping. Maybe Store Y has other cooler things I haven't even thought of...

:: call from sister interrupting shopping trauma::

What? What do you mean you got her the Hoo-Hey? I was just going to get her the Hoo-Hee., no, fine. You get it for, I have to re-think my Whatsit strategy anyway, since I really want to get the Widget with free shipping....It does???Store Z has $1.00 shipping till WHEN?...

And then suddenly it's 10:30 p.m. and your eyes are crossed and you're not sure you're making the right decisions and you're weighing shipping costs versus delivery times and realize you literally have 28 shopping carts open at different online stores and have, in the end, when all is said and done, purchased exactly one bottle of hand lotion.

* * * *

I am back from Chicago. I left at 6 a.m. on Monday and returned at 9 p.m. on Tuesday, so it was a quick trip. I didn't get to see a lot of the city, and was mostly running around, but what I did see, I liked. I think the conference in July will be amazing. Updates to come.

And for any of you IIFs who live in the area and might want to help me out in an informal ("that place? that place sucks!") kind of way, please email me. Thanks!


  1. It sounds to me like somebody has yet to be introduced to the world of mr. rebates. That only compounds the christmas shopping confusion by bringing coupon codes and different cash back % from different online stores into play. So now. do you go with the free shipping, or with the 5% cash back? I've been doing my online christmas shopping with a calculator by my side.
    But hey, if you feel like putting yourself through that, let me know and ill send you a referral :)

  2. Also? If you shop through, you can go to all these stores sites AND get miles for every dollar you spend, except for the part where YOU have to keep track of it because actually? the miles never show up in your account and then you have to call the airline and tell them that you bought a Fry Baby at through the mileage website a month ago and it was $25.99 and at that time it was worth 4 miles per every dollar spent... this would be a super fun additive to your 28 open shopping carts, I think..just sayin'..

  3. You made me laugh so hard I almost peed. I was doing the same damn shopping thing last night & I actually only ended up with a skein of yarn .. for myself!

  4. Just think of all of the gas you've saved, the pollution, and the aggravation of actually going to the stores, and it will all be worth it.

    And, in other irrelevant news, you never did tell us where you used to work....or did I miss it???

  5. You were buying a hoo-ha online? I guess it's less embarrassing than going to a "tupperware" party.


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