Fear Your Holiday Inbox

Dear Knitting World At Large,

Please explain.


Thank you,

p.s. I received the above photo in my email inbox this afternoon. Don't believe me? Go see for yourself - the hat comes with a shawl. Well, and a prostitute from the looks of it.


  1. Oh mi god! Will you please learn how to knit me one?!

  2. This is the problem with knitting. At some point, you get bored with scarves, so you move on to hats, and purses, and if you're super motivated, sweaters. Then, the knitting cultists get you sucked into knitting socks. SOCKS! Once they have you knitting socks, you can move onto garish things like christmas tree hats and shawls, and knitted vegetables for your thanksgiving cornucopia. It's a sickness how they have you convinced that the retro crap your Great Aunt knitted is somehow cool and funky now. It isn't. It's just not. SO STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO KNIT SOCKS ALREADY DAMMIT! It's just one step away from the christmas tree hat!!!!

  3. i need that had. i'll give you a puppy if you make one for me for christmas! you don't even have to make me the shawl. please???

    -el snarkster

  4. hmm. first, i have to say, that i went to the site, and was quite tempted by the prospect of knitting a turkey (here). but it comes with a tea cozy AND the pattern costs 10.99. i'm afraid of this knitting. and anonymous, i knit socks. warm wonderful socks that fit... but for 10.99, i'm willing to bet i can make up the pattern for a freaky turkey cozy. ha- amazon had no idea that the christmas chapeau is REALLY the perfect gift....

  5. Wait, I have to PAY for the pattern??
    ohhh the temptation......
    I seriously want to know how many people have bought this pattern

  6. look! if you buy both, you'll save!

    how can you resist such a bargain?

    and if anything could carry off this look, it's you, k.

  7. And if you buy two, you can wear it as a bra!

  8. That entire website is insane. And there's no explanation as to why the two models are so hookerish. The eyemakeup is positively drag queen.

  9. I agree, it's a crazy website...I'm torn between "oh how wildly funky and fun" and "YEESH!"

  10. i'm in love with the idea of christmas tree bras. can we make turkey bras? oh wait, that's just weird.

  11. you see? that's exactly my point melissa. you probably started out as a nice normal knitter, then you got sucked into the sock knitting cult, and now you're all about knitting christmas tree hat-bras and turkey cozies. and that, my fellow imaginary internet friend, is just wrong. it starts with the socks. --J

  12. I continue to shudder involuntarily.

    I wonder how long it will last...

  13. em and snarkster - how much do i love you for wanting one of these, in all earnestness? a lot.

    april - it kind of is.

    anon 6:24 & 3:07 - you make an *amazing* point. i have never even thought about attempting to knit socks, because...well, because they're SOCKS. and so hard! and crazy! and walgreens with the pair-for-a-dollar offers! and dirty feet! so yes, once you think knitting socks makes perfect sense, i think you are lost to the knitting world forever.

    melissa - the turkey! omg the turkey! it is also amazing. truly.

    sitcomgirl - i'm actually tempted. i wonder if i have the skills to make it. although on second thought, how could anyone POSSILBY know if i fuck it up?

    terry - that might well be the best compliment i've ever received. i think. i would have to have a glass of red wine in one hand, though, just to complement the green.

    sarah - ROFL! how ingenius!!!

    laustin - nothing about the site makes sense. i sort of wonder if it's one big joke just to see how crazy knitters actually are.

    samd - i KNOW! what is up with that "modern" coat/sweater/horrifying thing?

    re-melissa - i love that christmas tree bras are fine, but turkey hat bras are not. we must draw the line somewhere.

    shari - until you buy the pattern. now THAT is marketing genius!

  14. Oh noooo they did not!!! **shudders**


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