Monday, December 04, 2006

Winter Wonderland

As Ish was getting dressed at 6-something on Sunday morning to go back to his place to inject his diabetic cat --

I haven't even gotten into this story yet. But not only has Ish acquired his two cats, one is -- yes -- diabetic and needs a shot of insulin every 12 hours or he'll die.

I know.

At this point I fear you might think I'm just making all these family and pet illnesses up, but I am not. And what makes this even crazier is that Ish ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST shaven-headed, goatee-sporting man I've dated who, following the dissolution of a relationship, has gotten custody of more than one cat, INCLUDING A CAT WHO REQUIRES INJECTIONS. Let me say that again. NOT THE FIRST ONE. ElG had (well, still has) a cat who requires a saline drip, every day, drip drip, or he will die.

IIFs, I could not make this up if I tried.
--I looked up and saw him standing before my veritable winter wonderland. You know, the half-lit, fake, misshapen, ghetto Walgreens tree atop my bedroom desk next to the plastic container of other holiday accoutrements that also probably don't work.

I couldn't help but laugh at my pathetic excuse for Christmas decor. (Also? It was 6 on a Sunday morning and at that time pretty much you have to laugh or else you will cry.)

I asked him (from bed, because even though HE has to get up and go at 6 in the morning doesn't mean I have to) to please bust out with his camera phone and take a picture of my collection in all its glory. So he plugged the tree in and took this picture and now here it is for you.
Winter Wonderland
Not so much celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ

who I just typed as "Jess" Christ (because I am exhausted because I got up THIS morning at 4 a.m. to get to Chicago and do busy, important things, which is why my last post consisted entirely of my teeth chattering). You know, Jess? Jess Christ? Jesus' little sister? Dude, you totally had a crush on her, don't lie to me.

Ohmygodsotired.

--as it is an illustration in My Domestic Failures, File #2509.

Fa la la la laaaaaaa.

13 comments:

  1. It should make you feel better to know that your Christmas tree and decor is 100% more Christmas tree and decor than I have. Your bedroom is the Santa Claus Lane Parade compared to my house, so I applaud your efforts.

    Also, I had a diabetic cat who required an insulin shot every day. Imagine my thoughts when my husband called me while I was on vacation in Hawaii to tell me that he had stuck the cat with the needle and the cat took off and was hiding somewhere in the house with a hypodermic needle sticking out of her shoulder. Is it any wonder we are divorced?

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  2. I have a newly diagnosed diabetic cat too. Lantus every 12 hours (at $90 a pop every 2 months) and special cat food. Major pain in the ass but I love my booboo!

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  3. I have a diabetic dog that needs shots twice a day. It is amazing how your life starts to revolve a little around the shot times. It gets to be second nature, though.

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  4. it's like a charlie brown christmas tree!

    all it needs is a little love...

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  5. Well... Jess Christ is sort of like Jesse... david's dad... And it is Advent (deliberate reference to isaiah?!)... and you do like old carols Like Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming.... seems you are pretty Christmasy Kristy! Tree, Jess, tomorrow, and all. Birthdays are always fun to celebrate... After Christ's party, we celebrate Rabbie Burns with a fun supper! (jan 25th!) and july is right around the corner too... thinking of you :)

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  6. Hey, I'm Jess.

    Thanks for the shout out.

    My birthday is in October thought.

    ;-)

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  7. That is a phenomenal coincidence about the cats. I'm sorry to hear it, because, awwwww, poor kitty! And also, what a pain in the ass. Geez.

    I like your Christmas decorations. I do. We're moving, I don't want to, so I am definitely not in the celebrating/decorating mood. But, I have a child, so I'll have to do it anyway.

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  8. I did have a crush on Jess in high school, but so did everyone. I mean, she was so cute and so sweet that no one could resist her. But the greatest thing about JC2 (as we all called her) was that not only could she do that water-into-wine thing that her brother liked to do, she could also do punch-into-vodka which made her a big hit at the senior prom. It was so much easier than trying to spike the punch with flasks hidden in our cummerbunds.

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  9. at least your tree is half-lit... mine's just sitting in the corner, all dark and un-decorated.

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  10. damn terry stole what I was going to say!
    I can't believe someone would have the patience to take care of a diabetic cat. OH MAN.
    oh and hi, I am a friend of Terry. I have read your blog for awhile and have never commented.
    Until now that is
    so, hello!

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  11. Ha, and my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for spending $40 a bag on prescription cat food for Mr. Riley Face, because he's not allowed to eat anything else otherwise his wang will get all clogged up again.

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  12. P.S. - I pimped you out to another (awesome) blogger who is moving to San Francisco soon. Her name is Holly and she writes at Nothing But Bonfires.

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  13. And what makes this even crazier is that Ish ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST shaven-headed, goatee-sporting man I've dated who, following the dissolution of a relationship, has gotten custody of more than one cat, INCLUDING A CAT WHO REQUIRES INJECTIONS.

    I guess your "type" isn't what you thought it was.

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