Tuesday, May 02, 2006

oh, and it's may 2

i do not have the capacity to understand, but for my own sake, i feel a sense of...duty to...? fulfillment from...? (normalcy in...?) telling you --

--you, this invisible world of strangers and friends who have listened and read and made me feel like my story is worth telling.

god.

my father died this morning.

i don't have many details -- he was ill with cancer, but still up and about and receiving treatment and living and hoping. this was, is, a terrible shock.

i mean, for fuck's sake, i'm in the middle of telling that story, i can't believe i (and my sisters and my family and my friends) have yet another story to tell. already.

thank you all for being my audience and for grounding me. i'll be back soon. when i have words.

* * * * * *
update: if not words, i can at least offer a couple pictures


Dad playing NTN. Sort of his natural habitat...



I love this picture of my dad and sister (Sam) dancing at my wedding. It was a lovely wedding. It was a lovely dance.




160 comments:

  1. i don't know you and never will, but i'm crying with you. my condolences (and thank you for posting-it's very kind of you to share your grief with us.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been reading your blog for a while and I think you are an amazing and funny writer. I have been opening your blog at least a few times a day to check to see if you had updated because your story is so touching.
    I'm so sorry to hear about your father. We'll be thinking about you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

    I only just found your site yesterday, and I want to tell everyone in the world to read it.

    I hope that things go as smmothly as they can for you during this hard time.

    Hang in there, I know that I am not the only one who is sending well wishes your way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My god - that's terrible. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kristy, I'm so sorry. I really enjoyed your Father's contributions to this blog. I'm shocked. I don't really know what to say right now except my thoughts go out to you and yours and if you need anything, you know how to reach me. I'll be thinking of you N~

    ReplyDelete
  6. K-

    I can't help but think there is a beautiful aspect to this irony. you have been taking us on an incredible journey of emotional growth and empowerment these past couple of weeks, including resolving some issues with your father. Something you might not have otherwise have done if not for sharing your story with us.

    You have my deepest sympathies on your loss. I'm sure your father was as proud of your as your IIFs are.

    Be strong.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been reading along with your story and it's touched me in so many ways and made me re-examine so many things in my life. You'll never know what it's meant to me. I know it doesn't make up for your loss, but I hope it helps a tiny bit.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Deepest, deepest condolences, sweetheart. Feel our love from miles away, ok?

    ReplyDelete
  9. your stories have always captivated me. this one devastates me. i'm so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  10. K,

    I am so sorry. It came through in his comments how proud he was of you.

    Please know that many of us out here in IIF land (and your West Coast community) are sending you love and support. You and your family are definitely in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have been following your story, along with so many others, and living it along with you. I've seen many comments from readers that explain how your memories bring back so many of their own from similiar circumstances. Yet, at this point in my life, I have not lost a parent, nor have I been divorced (or married yet, for that matter). Instead, what your story brings to me is this reminder of what we have when we have it...how precious life is and how much it needs to be cherished.

    At this point of my life, I can not imagine losing a parent. That is a pain I don't quite know how I will endure. The candid sharing of your story makes me realize that we find strength in ourselves when we might possibly think there is nothing left...a strength that allows us to get through those things that we never thought we could.

    Sounds like once again, you will have to dig deep inside and find it...we'll be here when you come back.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am so sorry. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Kristy, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  14. amberance read my mind, and said exactly what i thought when i read your post...

    if there's anything you would happen to need from/in north carolina, please let me know. otherwise, you are on the mind of this loyal iif.

    ReplyDelete
  15. None of us have the words, but our hearts, prayers, and minds are with you...we love you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My condolences to you and your family. I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry to hear that K.

    Your IIF,
    DA

    ReplyDelete
  18. so sorry kristi..

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kristi - I am so sorry to hear of this loss. I can only echo what else has written here regarding your story, your bravery in telling it and your ability to make me cry without knowing me.

    Sending much love and support your way.

    ReplyDelete
  20. So very sorry. My thoughts are with you. There are not words, but we're all here to support you and listen/read. Take your time. We'll wait until you're ready.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I can not tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My condolences to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  24. It's my sincere hope that imaginary friends can bring real comfort at such a difficult time.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Ian

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh my God, K. I am so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I, too, hope that your IIFs--emphasis on the Friend rather than on the Imaginary--can bring real comfort at a time like this. As an IIF who feels blessed to "know" you, I can stress that our feelings of love and support are very, very real. We love you, kristy. Our condolences to you. And your family.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    God Bless You.

    ReplyDelete
  28. K -

    I'm so sorry. Reading your last set of entries has had me emotionally whacked out myself, reminding me of my father's death..3 years ago on Monday. It's hard, but you know that. Just know that you really aren't alone, and let yourself feel what you need to feel.

    Again, I'm just so very sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm absolutely stricken by your loss. It seems like such a cruel blow, especially coming on the heels of your recent blog stories about painful and confusing parts of your life story. I'm so very sorry. Just from the glimpses I've seen of your dad's personality via your blog, I enjoyed getting to know him.

    Best wishes to you and your family as you grieve -- from one of thousands of IIFs.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh, K, I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sending love to you and your sisters. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  33. kiki,
    I don't know what to say!! I'm so sorry! I'll pray for all of you! Let someone in the family know the details when you get them!

    Your dad was indeed an interesting, extrodinary and amazing person. Everytime I hear the Jepoardy theme song or see a trivia game, your dad's face is the first thing I see. We'll miss him!
    Love you, Calla

    ReplyDelete
  34. So sorry to hear about your loss, you and your fam be in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  35. You, your family, and your friends are in my thoughts and prayers during this time...

    At the risk of sounding too religous (i'm not really) or clique... I'm sure he's sad to leave you and your sisters behind... but overjoyed to see your mom again.

    May the throughts of your friends keep you warm inside during this trying time.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Long time reader, first time commenting, but your news compelled me to say something. My thoughts are with you during this time - I'm so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  37. God, K, I don't know what to say. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  38. oh no.

    i'm so sorry, i wish there was something more to do or say.

    if it offers any comfort, his support and love of you lives forever here, as a character and as a reader.

    ReplyDelete
  39. All along I had a lot of words... of agreement, of encouragment, and I had a lot of laughter. Cause I'm there (with the rocky marriage stuff now) and I know laughing at ourselves is a secret strength.

    Now, I have no words, but I have tears. I haven't had tears yet. I was too numb. You know the numb, its coming back for a visit. Hopefully a short one.

    Hugs and love and thoughts and more hugs..

    Lucky

    ReplyDelete
  40. K -

    my thoughts and prayers are with you in this terrible time. Know that you are loved -

    ReplyDelete
  41. Kristy, I'm so sorry. I wish I was better at knowing what to say, but I'm not, so please just know that my thoughts are with you and your family right now. You are very much beloved by your IIF's, and I know many of us are crying with you today.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Kristy,
    I am so sorry. I know that there are no words. My thoughts are with you, toots.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I am SOVERY sorry. Be strong.

    ReplyDelete
  46. kristy! no!

    oh my god.

    i am so sorry.

    will email you.

    fuck.

    i am so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  47. i'm so sorry for your loss. what a heartbreak. i'm a very quiet iif, but i'll be thinking of you and holding your family in my practice.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Oh Kristy:

    You have my love and support. Thinking about you and your family.
    Love you,
    Norma.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Oh for fuck's sake! I have no words...except I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  50. i am so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ericha2@comcast.net2:28 PM, May 02, 2006

    K,

    Saying sorry is not nearly enough to relay my condolences on your loss.

    Please take care of yourself during this terrible time and remember that we all are here if you need to vent frustrations, anger and emotions.

    Although we can't take you into our arms physically I know we are all holding you in our hearts and wishing we could be there to console you.

    With deepest sympathy,
    Erica

    ReplyDelete
  52. Thinking of you today.

    :( So sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Sending my deepest and heartfelt condolences. Take care and we'll all be here when you get back.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Kristy, you have my deepest sympathy- I am so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I am so sorry. My condolences to you and your family. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  56. You have my deepest sympathy. You will be in my prayers along with your whole family.

    Cindi

    ReplyDelete
  57. Thank you K, for sharing your story. I've read intently and enjoyed (for want of a better word) reading your honest and heartfelt memories. I'm sorry to hear that you have now lost both of your parents and I wish I had the words to help lessen the pain. Be strong, chin up. We're here for you.

    battybaby.com

    ReplyDelete
  58. Oh, Kristy. I just...I don't have any more words than anyone else, more than just to say that we love you. Take as long as you need; we'll be here.

    You and your whole family are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Kristy, I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    I am at a loss for words. I am just so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  60. K - I just lost my dad two weeks ago. It was a funny thing - he had been ill for awhile, but he was a tough bastard (I say that with pride) and we were all just so sure he would beat it. And he seemed like he *was* beating it - and then he just died, very suddenly. And even though I knew this could happen, I could never have imagined how much it would tear me up and just make me question every part of my life. I'm so, so sorry for you. I hope you are getting the support you need to make it through this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Kristy, my condolences. As a regular reader and infrequent poster, I've been following your story over the past couple of weeks and as you so rightly say, you now have another one to tell sometime.

    I'm very sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Oh Kristy. I am so sad for you and your family. I will be thinking about you frequently. My deepest sympathy.

    *hug* *hug* *hug*

    ReplyDelete
  63. Kristy, I am so so sorry to hear this news. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe there is a reason you were in the middle of telling that story at this time. Saying a prayer for you and your family...

    ReplyDelete
  64. K, you and your family are in my warmest thoughts.

    And please keep writing this story and your other stories. Even if you don't share them with us, your legion of IIFs, please keep writing your way through this. It will save you. Hell, it will save all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  65. k, I am so sorry for your loss. Just when you've opened up so much to all of us, I can't believe that you have this added to your plate now. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  66. OH MY GOODNESS!! I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts are with you and your family. **hugs**

    ReplyDelete
  67. 10,000x crap
    I would have liked to have met him.
    Let yourself get mad.
    I"ve loved you forever.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I am also a frequent reader and seldom responder, and like most people here can't offer right words to express how sorry we all are, but I'm posting, because I want you to know exactly how many people are reading this and caring.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Kristy,

    There isn't really anything I can say but I'm sorry. You are in my thoughts in prayers. Take your time, but we'll all be here when you get back.

    ReplyDelete
  70. k,

    i'm SO glad your friends (imaginary and real - here in SF at least) got to meet your Dad.

    and I'm so glad I got to have you, Ish, Dad & Jane over for a visit -- and, best of all, a round of jeopardy!!

    love to you, your sisters, Jane & Kathy.

    ReplyDelete
  71. K,

    I cannot fathom what this must be like for you - know that my thoughts, support, and sympathy are finding their way to you.

    ReplyDelete
  72. God bless you, Kristy. You are in my prayers.

    {{HUGS}} from an IIF in Central Illinois.

    ReplyDelete
  73. San Francisco Knitter6:12 PM, May 02, 2006

    I'm so sorry.
    My dad died in January. It's hard.
    Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  74. K - my thoughts are with you. Your stories have clearly shown how close your family is, and I am terribly sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed your father's comments and I think your readers have seen the love he felt for you in every word - whether teasing, understanding, apologetic, commiserating, playful or otherwise. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that you and your family have touched so many of us.

    ReplyDelete
  75. omigod.

    k, i'm so, so sorry.
    i loved seeing your dad's comments here. as one of your other many IIFs said, it was clear he was so proud of you.

    so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I'm just Another Imaginary Internet Friend, but you and your sisters and the rest of your family are truly in my thoughts. This is just awful. I'm so so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I am another unknown friend on the other side of the country who has read and been moved. I am so incredibly sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I can only add to the many comments of condolence and sorrow.

    A toast to a wonderful father who contributed some pretty funny things to your blog and who helped to create such a strong, creative, intelligent and beautiful woman.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  79. I orginally found your blog through the blog of a friend and ever since, I have been hooked and would check it out maybe weekly. But since you started to tell your story with your mom and David, I was here everyday. I wanted to read more.
    The story sounded oh so like one I know.
    When you just posted about your dad, I remember the May 2 date sticking out in your enteries earlier and I had to go find it.
    I am so, so sorry for your loss.
    My hugs and prayers are being sent your way.
    Keep up your wonderful work. You know your dad was so very proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  80. My deepest condolences to you and your family for this terrible loss.

    ReplyDelete
  81. K, I'm so so sorry. I'm just beyond sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must feel.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Adding my condolences to the list....I wish I had words of comfort for you. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

    'nilla

    ReplyDelete
  83. I am so very sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  84. When you get to the other side of your pain, and you will, you will be left with all of the memories your father gave you over the years. Write them down. Pass them along. Keep him alive in your heart, and in your stories. Take comfort in knowing that there will always be a part of him in you.

    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Kristy,
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in all of our thoughts during this time.

    ReplyDelete
  86. There aren't any words or gestures that will help you make sense of this or come out of it sooner, but know that you will come through it. Almost 12 years later, I still cry sometimes for my father, who also died from cancer. But when you get to the other side of the pain, you can start to remember without all the tears. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  87. 92 comments, and mine makes 93. I guess if you didn't already know how much many of us are rivetted by your words, now you do. I hope that in some way, that gives you strength.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I just keep sitting here saying "No...No...No" to my computer screen.
    I'm so very sorry this has happened to you.
    We'll be here when you get back, and we'll take care of you.
    Hold on tight.

    ReplyDelete
  89. My condolences for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Kristy-
    Thank you for your honesty, your courage and your willingness to share all of this with us.

    Peace and comfort to you and your family.
    -Lorri

    ReplyDelete
  91. Damn it. I have nothing to say that hasn't been said.
    Please take care of yourself and remember that your friends and family are there for you to lean on and mourn with you.
    You are a strong woman, K. Remember that.
    Hugs from Portland, Oregon

    ReplyDelete
  92. K, I am so sorry.
    Love to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  93. oh man. this just sucks. i am so sorry kristi. just so incredibly sorry. when all of this is over, just let me know if you need a weekend away in monterey at a beautiful and relaxing hotel and spa. i'll get you in in a minute and feed you wonderful food. i am just so incredibly sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I am one of no doubt hundreds of your (usually) silent IIFs, and a great fan of your writing. As others have said before me, it was obvious from his warm and funny comments that your father loved you and was so proud of you. Be strong, and know we're out here thinking of you.
    Prudence in Paris

    ReplyDelete
  95. :::big hug:::

    Kristi, you and your family are in my prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  96. Im so sorry! I have not yet commented because...well...you are such an amazing writer that I fear that my grammer, spelling and lack of imagination are laughable.

    I had to today, though, to tell you that I am sending cyber-support your way.

    ReplyDelete
  97. I cried when I read that post. So sorry for your loss.

    Avg.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I don't know what's left to say. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    *HUGS*

    ReplyDelete
  99. Kiki,

    I'm so sorry to read about your loss. I found your website recently and have really admired your strength.

    My thoughts are with you.

    A fellow escapee of Fairfield County

    ReplyDelete
  100. I'm so, so sorry, Kristy. You have my deepest sympathy.

    {{{Imaginary Internet Hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  101. My heart goes out to you. I too am crying at this post as I have at many of your recent posts. There are no words, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  102. You know you always have lots of love coming from Seattle from this IIF, and and extra special amount now.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Add me to the list of imaginary internet friends sending imaginary internet hugs and joining you in your sorrow. Deepest, deepest sympathies to you, K. You're in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Don't know what else to say- just another IIF who's so sorry for your loss...

    ReplyDelete
  105. i am so so sorry.
    it's weird to feel such a sense of sorrow and sadness for your loss, you being a complete stranger. it's just that i've always (since i found you off of CL) connected to your writing and i've been completely riveted by the story you have been telling for the past week or so. i just feel so sad for what you and your family must be going through right now. i wish you strength in getting through everything to come.
    i'm so so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  106. I lost my Dad a few years ago.

    It takes the breath right out of you.

    ReplyDelete
  107. K - I don't know you and I didn't know your dad. But considering the person you turned into and the loving way you have described him with his humor and support, I keenly feel your loss.

    I know you have lots of real, physical people there to help you. Lean on them, that's what they're there for.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I am so so so sorry for your loss.

    I've been trying to get the words together to express how I feel reading your story and they still haven't come.

    But now I cry for you, with you and your family and send goodwill your way.

    ReplyDelete
  109. K:

    I'm so sorry for your loss. You have a tremendous number of people sending you good thoughts. My condolences to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  110. My deepest sympathy. Sending a hug from Boston MA

    ReplyDelete
  111. ditto on the longtime reader, infrequent poster. so sorry for your loss. i can't wait to read the rest of your story, and i know from what i have read that you have the strength and humor to get through these difficult times. best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
  112. Always loved that photo.

    Have one similar with him dancing wtih YOU that night. He looks just as proud and just as happy.

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  113. I am deeply sorry for your sweet little heart. My heart is breaking for you. Please let us know where to send flowers or donations in memory of your father.
    ~Tonya from Oakland

    ReplyDelete
  114. K,
    i am so sorry for your loss. my heart sunk when i read this post. you and your family will be in my thoughts.
    ((((((hugs))))))

    ReplyDelete
  115. I could say all of the things we normally say in a moment like this, but in all honesty your Mom and Dad are together now... not today or even tomorrow, but soon you'll realize it's our own selfishness to keep them here with us that makes us sad...

    I'm sorry if I made you mad with my comment.. God ease your pain...

    ReplyDelete
  116. kristy, thinking of you ...

    ReplyDelete
  117. I read this post yesterday, just minutes after you posted it, but like others, do not have the words to express my sorrow.

    I can tell you that I have shed some tears for you and your family....

    I can tell you that although my friends and family have never heard of you, nor read your blog, I told just a fraction of your story to them to explain my sorrowful mood....

    I can tell you all these things and more, but know that it will not bring him back...

    if only.

    Just know you are loved.

    ReplyDelete
  118. TO ALL THE IIF's:

    On Kiki's behalf I want to express my sincerest thanks- the outpouring of love and support here has been truly remarkable. Humbling.

    It's been a rough couple of days obviously. Hearing from her IIF's has meant so much to her.

    She's very grateful, as am I.

    - ISH

    ReplyDelete
  119. (thank you Ish for being there too.) Kristy oooo

    ReplyDelete
  120. My deepest sympathies and greatest hopes that your family is a source of support and solace at this time...

    ReplyDelete
  121. wow. bummer. words are inadequate to express my sympathy, but i wish you luck in healing your heart and soul. peace.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I'm another long term reader of your blog, and I'm moved to give my deepest sympathies. All the best, Bex.

    ReplyDelete
  123. My condolences on your loss. It's tough to lose a parent.

    ReplyDelete
  124. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  125. I am so sorry to learn about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Kristy,

    I send my heartfelt condolences to you, your family and friends. Use your time to recollect the memories; grieve & celebrate the life which gave you one.

    Kristy, be strong and know that the many, many supporters you have here will always be here for you. The world takes, but the world also gives. When you find your words, we will be here to listen.

    Truly yours,

    Juliana

    ReplyDelete
  127. thinking of you, even though i don't really know you. thank you for sharing your dad with us, in his comments, and in your stories. i'm glad i got to "meet" him that way, and everyone who reads here will continue to know him through your words, and more subtly through the parts of you he helped form. heal well.

    ReplyDelete
  128. K,

    I'm so sorry you've lost your Dad. I wish there was something I could do for you...I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

    Of course, I never knew your Dad, but I always loved reading his comments here. He seemed like such a funny and thoughtful man, and he clearly loved you very much.

    Take care,
    T.

    ReplyDelete
  129. I am truly sorry... God bless you and your family.
    Ran

    ReplyDelete
  130. K -
    The loss of a parent is so, so difficult. No matter the relationship, no matter the age, no matter the past, the now. I'm thinking of you in imaginary internet land and wishing you peace. Take care of yourself, and allow grief to come in whatever strange form it takes, whenever it feels like coming. Good thoughts from so many people.

    ReplyDelete
  131. K-

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I've been enjoying your writing for about a year and I have loved hearing your stories. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I’ve enjoyed reading and growing with you for some time. I’m an infrequent poster but I’m always here. This morning my heart stopped ever briefly for you. I can’t even imagine. I’m moved beyond words. I’m so very sorry. Hugs from Colorado.

    ReplyDelete
  133. As over 140 people before me have said, I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing can take away the pain, but it's times like these that show you how many people care about you.

    ReplyDelete
  134. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know that there are no words, especially from strangers, that can make it any better for you, but know that we're here, okay?

    ReplyDelete
  135. I am so sorry. My dad died in December, and even though we were more or less waiting for it, it still ripped me apart. I am sending love from Massachusetts.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Kristy,

    Your story of your divorce and losing your mom was so accurate and so hard to read. It was, as they say "pitch perfect." It made me realize how even in this virtual world of blogs and all things binary, what makes it special is the human factor. What makes YOU special is your willingness to let us all into your life. We have all been enriched by it. And, I know I'm not alone when I say that even though we've never met, you feel like a friend to me.

    So, upon reading of your incomprehensible loss . . . my heart is truly breaking for you. I know there are no words to really comfort you, nothing that will sound like anything other than a partonizing cliche, maybe . . . please just know that so many people are thinking of you and your family. You shared your father with us, and he shared you with us. We are all richer for it, and all the poorer for his loss. Thank you for sharing him though. As someone above said, he will always live on in a way here.

    Peace and love to you and your family. Love,

    Another SF Kristy

    ReplyDelete
  137. Heartfelt Condolences, and blog-love.

    ReplyDelete
  138. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Yet another blog fan who has no words but the traditional ones. Those will have to do.
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your sisters can find a bit of solace in each other.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Sometimes there are no words and it's okay that there isn't... My deepest condolences to you and your family k. May you find comfort in the love and memories of your father.

    In my thoughts and prayers..

    -B-

    ReplyDelete
  141. I was shocked when I read the email at work of your loss. There's not much more that I can say that already hasn't been said but that I will be here for you when you return to CA.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I am so sorry......
    As a Cancer Survivor, I know how ugly The disease can be. I will be thinking of your family and praying for you all. That is a beautiful pic of your dad and sister....I have only visited this site once before, but your story was just so touching that I will be back...I also have to catch up on the past.....
    HUGS TO YOU

    ReplyDelete
  143. He looks happy and fun in those pictures, and I am so so so so so so sorry for your loss.

    And of course for the loss of your mother as well. The irony that you were in the midst off that live event re-telling.

    ReplyDelete
  144. I'm so sorry Kiki. I wish there was some way to take some of your pain away.
    warm hugs,
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  145. believe it or not, this is my first time on this page. My deepest condolences to you and your family in this (what I can only begin to imagine and the most minute levels) very tough time. I hope that you are able to remember the good times and keep him close to your heart.

    I wish you nothing but the best.
    --Damien

    ReplyDelete
  146. Brie in Santa Cruz11:15 AM, May 09, 2006

    Just found your blog today, through lurking (at work oops)... my computer was taking days to load the content and I was interested enough to wait (unusual for me)... Just read your post from May 2...and figured out why I had waited...
    August 6th 2003, I lost my Daddy suddenly, and I miss him absolutely every day. I hurt for you, knowing the pain I went through, and that you are feeling the same.
    Please know that he was proud of you (as all Daddies are), even if you can't recall the sound of his voice saying so.
    You are very lucky he was able to be at your wedding, that's one of my biggest issues yet to overcome.
    My eyes are still welling for you and your family. Empathy for a stranger is awkward, but real.
    Be good to yourself, Brianne

    ReplyDelete
  147. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad...
    This soon shall pass.

    ReplyDelete
  148. My thoughts are with you K. I am very sorry to read of your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  149. I came across your story tonight, and just wanted to tell you it was very touching. As the years go by I hope you are healed in away that you now look at those years as a learning experience for your early adulthood. You are very strong, and an amazing woman. xoxo

    ReplyDelete