i do not have the capacity to understand, but for my own sake, i feel a sense of...duty to...? fulfillment from...? (normalcy in...?) telling you --
--you, this invisible world of strangers and friends who have listened and read and made me feel like my story is worth telling.
my father died this morning.
i don't have many details -- he was ill with cancer, but still up and about and receiving treatment and living and hoping. this was, is, a terrible shock.
i mean, for fuck's sake, i'm in the middle of telling that story, i can't believe i (and my sisters and my family and my friends) have yet another story to tell. already.
thank you all for being my audience and for grounding me. i'll be back soon. when i have words.
* * * * * *
update: if not words, i can at least offer a couple pictures
Dad playing NTN. Sort of his natural habitat...
I love this picture of my dad and sister (Sam) dancing at my wedding. It was a lovely wedding. It was a lovely dance.