Ever After


My life in those first couple weeks after I left the house was as crazy and as surreal as everything that had led up to them.

I picked Saturday, October 13 as the date I would leave for San Francisco. I had decided not to fly but to drive across country, and we'd worked it so that ElG would come with me. He would go visit his family in the Midwest, and I'd pick him up and we'd take a week to drive from Indiana to San Francisco.

Between when I left Connecticut (Sept. 25) and October 13, I stayed in Boston, New Hampshire, and New York. I dropped my cats off at my parents' house and Healy would ship them to me as soon as I had a place for her to ship them to.

(Oh, yes, that would be expensive, but I would have my Hush Money check by then.)

* * * * * *

At one point while I was in Boston, David called me to tell me I had fucked up royally. I had been in charge of canceling all our services and closing out all our bills. (Right, because NOW it was my turn to pay all the bills. Another form of punishment, I'm sure.) I was unintentionally and unknowingly less than thorough, in part because I didn't have all the information I needed. And the only way I could get the information was to get it out of David, who was clearly at pains to have any sort of conversation with me, ever, at all. As such, I had totally let a bill go that I didn't even know we had. In turn, they – the landscaping company, it was – had put a LEIN on the house. We had to delay our closing by an entire day because of it, and almost didn't close at all.

You can imagine how pleased David was to call me about that.

But a day later, when the closing had gone through, he called me to let me know. And to say I could pick up The Check at his dad's law firm in Connecticut. I asked him if he would be there, or if we could have some sort of good-bye lunch. He said no. I asked him if we could at least have some sort of official good-bye conversation or something. He said no. He actually said, "It's not like this is the last time we'll talk."

Of course, it was.

* * * * * *

I picked up the check at David's father's law firm in Connecticut on the way to New York for Emily and Nick's wedding. I drove the check from the law firm directly to the bank and shook the whole way there.

After the money was deposited, I would live in a constant state of irrational paranoia, convinced that at any minute, I would check my bank statement and all the money would be gone.

* * * * * *

The wedding was perfect. Not in a cookie-cutter perfect way, but in a real, true, this-is-why-we-survive-the-bad kind of joyously perfect way.

* * * * * *

I spent the next week at Healy and Brian's, tying up the occasional loose end. I bought myself my first digital camera. I settled things with work, saying I'd be MIA for the next week and a half. I made cross-country CD mixes.

ElG and I picked hotels and made reservations and plotted our course. We thought we'd take Route 66 as much as possible. And see Vegas.

* * * * * *

On the morning of October 13, I awoke very early, hungover and with a cold. But it didn't matter. I cried a little as Healy hugged me goodbye, but not too much. (I simply couldn't let myself acknowledge how much I'd miss my family, or I probably never would have had the strength to go.)

I drove to the Dunkin' Donuts and filled up my car with gas.

And then, with my CD changer full of music, my mug full of coffee, my tank full of gas, my bank account full of funds, and my heart broken but full of hope, I left.

I was finally on my way to the other side.

It was going to be amazing.

* * * * * *

The End


  1. K - not really 'the end', I hope. Will you continue about what did or almost did happen with EG? These posts have been so great.

  2. A wonderful ending to the story- Thank you for sharing.

    Oh, and for the record? I am wearing pointy shoes today and my toes positively *itch* to kick 5-years-ago-Dave. Silly asshat.

  3. The end? What happened to all the drama with your mom? You seem to have just dropped that. I find it really hard to believe that she stopped factoring in with all this. Did she die before you moved away?

  4. Where in Indiana is ElG from? I ask because I was raised there.

  5. NO "The End"! What is this "The End"? You were just getting to the part I've been really waiting for! Now I will never know if my inane guesses about the life of a stranger that are none of my business are actually true! DAMN YOU *shakes fist*

    Thank you for sharing what you have. It must have been difficult to relive all of this.

  6. Of course curious minds want to know more. I want more!--like some details about the trip and getting to San Fran and what happened? What about your mom? Or while you have no contact with David, do you hear about him? What happened to him? That kind of stuff. I'm itching to know. That said, if THIS is the end, then, thank you for sharing this story. It's been amazing to read.

  7. Ericha@comcast.net9:54 AM, May 17, 2006

    Echoing the sentiments above, if this is the end, thank you so much for sharing. Of course, we'd all be so happy if this is just the end of part one and there will be a part two and three and...well, you get the picture. I'm a sucker for sequels and if you're willing to share, I'm waiting to soak it all up.

    Thanks again for your strength and passionate writing and for sharing your talent with us.

    Warm wishes,

  8. i've really enjoyed quietly lurking on your blog for a while now. i just have to say, though... oct 13?!? yay! my birthday!

  9. K- thanks for sharing one of your stories with us!

  10. Come ON! I just started reading last week, and now you're cutting me off?!?!? Say it isn't so! :(

  11. What beautiful writing. Love this part: And then, with my CD changer full of music, my mug full of coffee, my tank full of gas, my bank account full of funds, and my heart broken but full of hope, I left.

  12. ditto to what mshag said.

    i wish i could do that, right now. just up and leave. but it is a process, and i just don't have the energy or the money.

  13. I have been reading this on & off for days.....Don't know how I found your blog, but absolutely love your writings....

    Michele Coomer


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