Working It Out

i guess here's as good a place as any to start:

ketchit said...
So let's see, you finally went to the gym and worked out after how many times NOT going? I guess the slippery slope to NJ06 has commenced, yes? Like RiseyP said, you should change your motto at the top of the website because frankly, you really aren't losing weight or rather, focused on losing weight...

Why don't you make this a habit, perhaps? Posting your blog while you're exercising. In fact, make it a mandate: no blog posts unless it's done at the gym while working out. That way it's a done deal, or not. Your choice.


first of all, it's true. last week i only went to the gym once. BUT. this week (i'm happy to report), i have gone three times. yay!

a second point worth noting is that i AM losing weight. i AM focused on it, i've been really good about it, and i AM seeing results. slowly but surely.

but these points bring me to um, a somewhat perplexing matter: i'm not sure why anyone would feel compelled to come here and tell me i'm gaining weight (since i'm not). still, that alone is not really an eyebrow-raiser. what IS slightly more concerning is that someone would come here and tell me i'm gaining weight AND scold me for it while using the name of one of my friends. (i am referring to the quoted "riseyp" who did not actually leave said comment.) really, what's the deal there?

anyway. let's address the final point above. the one about how i should only blog if i'm at the gym.

everyone, i have to tell you that blogging from the stairmaster is definitely cool but it is also not a good idea.

see, when the brains behind the "let's attach a tv screen to the stairmaster machines" decided they would also add internet access, i do not think they had me in mind. i think the internet-attaching stairmaster inventors thought, "hey, maybe these stairclimbers would like to read Yahoo news while they work out. that might be a cool feature." i do NOT think they thought, "hey! you know what's missing from the average person's workout? the ability to WRITE BLOG ENTRIES! how could we have overlooked something so critical? we need to fix this right away!"

thus, the machines are set up to view websites, but not so much to interact with them.

and you want to know how i figured this out? shutup. i will tell you anyway because, as per usual, i figured it out the hard way.

here is a hint that you should not be blogging on the stairmaster: there is a screen but there is no mouse and also NO KEYBOARD.

so instead of being able to type like a normal person, you have to play a fun game of "touch-screen typing." or, as i more accurately call it, "try not to fall off the stairmaster."

(where's your lesson plan for THAT one, mavis beacon?)

here's how it works: you pick "choose website" from the touch screen, and then a keyboard magically appears. then you poke at the keyboard until you have your word typed out and then poke the "okay" button. then you are taken to your website but the keyboard disappears.

at first, i didn't know how to get it back.

then i poked at the screen a lot and discovered that if you poke on the screen in the place where you need to type something (like your login name), the keyboard reappears. unfortunately, you have to do this for every field you want to type in (meaning you hit "okay," keyboard disappears. you hit the next empty space on the screen and the keyboard reappears).


you know how touch screens can be a little tempermental and hard to work when you're NOT aiming at tiny little boxes and when you're also NOT BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON A STAIRMASTER? right. you see where i'm going with this.

but say you DO get the keyboard to appear and you ARE actually, miraculously, after much frantic screen-jabbing, typing out the body of a blog entry. hurrah! you might think. until you try to actually "type" whereupon you enter a whole new world of ergonomic acrobatics.

do me a favor? picture a keyboard on the bottom half of your computer screen. see it? now put your hands on it, in a position like you would for typing on a flat (not vertical) keyboard.

are you doing it?*

is any part of that comfortable?

right. of course not. it hurts your fingers, wrists, and shoulders. and i'm not going to ask you to stand up and pretend you're climbing stairs and THEN try and type vertically, but um. it certainly is one way to forget about your workout.

know what makes it even MORE fun? you know how when you work out, you get warm? like, not only do you sweat, but your body temperature actually rises? well, right. and now consider that touch jab-at screens are heat-sensitive. so the more i worked out, the warmer my fingers got, the more precise i had to be at aiming. EXCEPT the more i worked out, the more winded i got, the harder finger control (obviously) became.

all in all, i am not entirely sure how it was that i managed to get a whole entry out and also not sprain anything or, when i really think about it, fall off the stairmaster and die. but i didn't.

and thus, as much as i would love to limit my blog postings to only those written from inside the gym,** probably i should not tempt fate.

*don't lie to me.

**when a stranger blogs: we were able to trace the entry! it was coming from inside the gym!!!


  1. why are some people this way? in what way was any of those comments helpful? or necessary?

  2. You go girl!

    Going to the gym 3 times this week will be 2 more times than me (is that correct english?!).

    Seriously, you're doing a great job AND you're very funny.

  3. Why are some people so insistent upon being the biggest dick in town? Seriously, you're doing waaaaaaay better on the working out thing than I am AND even if you weren't, even if you suddenly gained a hundred pounds and did nothing but eat ding dongs and ho-hos all day, it certainly wouldn't be any of anyone else's business.

    Also, you're awesome. You're so funny and such a great writer and so REAL. I love reading your blog. Keep it up.

  4. Unbelievable.


    How some people can be so damn judgmental! What business is it of theirs if you are gaining or losing weight? And to attribute a quote to a friend of yours that is totally untrue really takes balls!

    You write to "vent" and in the process entertain all your "IIF's". Keep on writing, Kristy. Yours is a blog I check on a daily basis. You never fail to bring a smile to my face!


  5. Sometimes these comments make me hope no one is reading my blog, or cares enough to comment. People suck.

  6. I know just how you feel. My wife had some jerk off do the same thing to her but put a fake return email address. pretty damn pitiful huh? I don't always comment but I love your posts! They are very real and entertaining. You always paint a vivid mental picture of what you are talking about.

  7. Heather said "Why are some people so insistent upon being the biggest dick in town"...umm, my guess is it's because they're not!

  8. I was going to say just ignore the person that wrotebut then I realized they got what they wanted you to respond to their comment, you to get pissed enough to pot a whole blog entry on their comment but remember its your blog you can write what you want and when you want........

    just do it more

    just kidding i enjoy all your blog entries

    keep up the good work


  9. you know, i suppose you should take it as a compliment that so much of what you write seems to generate so much heat!

  10. My gym has both stairmasters and recumbent bikes with the screens for either internet or TV. I was on the recumbent bike one day and decided to catch up on my emails rather than watching TV. BIG. MISTAKE.
    I only sent one email off and it was the most effed up email I've ever tried to type/jab, and I even thought of how much easier it must have been compared to the ones on the stairmaster considering my upper body remained relatively still in compared to the stairmaster.

  11. i am 44 years old. at the age of 26, i was 70 lbs overweight. i then made it a lifetime plan to lose 1 lb a year for the rest of my life. well, i'm happy to report that as of feb 11 2006, i am now only 52 lbs overweight. i am doing well. the point is, don't set your expectations too high. slow and steady wins the weight loss race.

  12. Is it better to be heard and blasted, or to never be heard at all? The random acts of rudeness committed against you and your blog almost make me glad that no one comments on my blog. Almost.

    Keep up the good work!

  13. hi tyra, i wasn't trying to blast kiki at all...i was simply trying to show how weight loss can only be achieved over a can't be done in 6 months, 1 yr, etc...i've been losing 1 lb a yr for the past 18 years...anon

  14. I've learned not to comment too much as my words don't always seem to come across the way I mean them. I've been wanting to ask for an update on how the last open mike went, but then decided you would tell us if and when you decided to... I can't imagine leaving a comment regarding someone's weight. I mean wtf?

    But um, since I am here commenting... er... let me just say I hope open mike night went well for you and Ish...

  15. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  16. oops...again. Let me try one more time. Anon 9:44 a.m., I really have no right to speak for Tyra but I will...I get the feeling her post wasn't directed to yours. Also, I agree with it's better to heard and blasted... Also, K- once again, you've got some balls gurl. I'm too chicken shit to even have a blog that I let anyone know about

  17. Thank you, shull o' fit, for clarifying my point, which was more of a broad, sweeping generalization than focused on one comment on Friday's post. My grandmother always said, if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. (Of course, this rule did not apply to my grandmother, but that's fodder for a future blog.) That said, I have been surprised by the number of commenters who criticize, ridicule, and verbally assault K in this forum. What does not surprise me is that they generally do it anonymously.

  18. It annoys me to no end that people feel the need to give you "advice" on your blog! (I rarely comment but I read your blog pretty regularly.) Like I remember once you wrote about eating peanut butter and bread and someone commented on "what kind of diet is THAT part of?" Who cares? (Especially since they are part of many diets...but even if it was chips and melted cheese dip, WHO CARES?) I feel like I am adding to the cycle by commenting on their commenting but I just wanted to offer my support. You are definitely brave to blog despite the stupid commenters. If you click my name you will see my lametastic blog--and that I am not so brave. (Someday...)
    And it's cool that you were able to turn that into a comical entry about the Stairmaster. I forgot about Mavis Beacon.

  19. Stairmasters have internet now???? Where have I been? I have a hard enough time staying on a tredmill... if it had an internet connection they would need to put up a net to catch me when I would go flying off the damn thing!

    Seriously, don't let people bother you. Just be happy about your accomplishments and keep a slow steady pace. You'll do fine.

  20. wow, you are like a magnet for mean spirited advice K!

    Keep up the good blogging you do. we love ya'!

  21. Um, losing weight isn't nearly as entertaining as fighting to lose the weight and the daily drama involved with gym typing.

  22. About 5 yrs ago, my gym had these recumbent bikes that had internet/tv on them, and I always thought the same thing. Same touch screen - really hard to use while moving enough to get your heart rate up. So, I'd use it to check my email and that was about it - then I'd switch to the tv and watch re-runs of Friends and ER. The coolest part about those bikes though was that the minutes spent logged in and excersing translated into frequent flier miles. That was a brilliant idea.


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