Working It Out

i guess here's as good a place as any to start:

ketchit said...
So let's see, you finally went to the gym and worked out after how many times NOT going? I guess the slippery slope to NJ06 has commenced, yes? Like RiseyP said, you should change your motto at the top of the website because frankly, you really aren't losing weight or rather, focused on losing weight...

Why don't you make this a habit, perhaps? Posting your blog while you're exercising. In fact, make it a mandate: no blog posts unless it's done at the gym while working out. That way it's a done deal, or not. Your choice.

okay.

first of all, it's true. last week i only went to the gym once. BUT. this week (i'm happy to report), i have gone three times. yay!

a second point worth noting is that i AM losing weight. i AM focused on it, i've been really good about it, and i AM seeing results. slowly but surely.

but these points bring me to um, a somewhat perplexing matter: i'm not sure why anyone would feel compelled to come here and tell me i'm gaining weight (since i'm not). still, that alone is not really an eyebrow-raiser. what IS slightly more concerning is that someone would come here and tell me i'm gaining weight AND scold me for it while using the name of one of my friends. (i am referring to the quoted "riseyp" who did not actually leave said comment.) really, what's the deal there?

anyway. let's address the final point above. the one about how i should only blog if i'm at the gym.

everyone, i have to tell you that blogging from the stairmaster is definitely cool but it is also not a good idea.

see, when the brains behind the "let's attach a tv screen to the stairmaster machines" decided they would also add internet access, i do not think they had me in mind. i think the internet-attaching stairmaster inventors thought, "hey, maybe these stairclimbers would like to read Yahoo news while they work out. that might be a cool feature." i do NOT think they thought, "hey! you know what's missing from the average person's workout? the ability to WRITE BLOG ENTRIES! how could we have overlooked something so critical? we need to fix this right away!"

thus, the machines are set up to view websites, but not so much to interact with them.

and you want to know how i figured this out? shutup. i will tell you anyway because, as per usual, i figured it out the hard way.

here is a hint that you should not be blogging on the stairmaster: there is a screen but there is no mouse and also NO KEYBOARD.

so instead of being able to type like a normal person, you have to play a fun game of "touch-screen typing." or, as i more accurately call it, "try not to fall off the stairmaster."

(where's your lesson plan for THAT one, mavis beacon?)

here's how it works: you pick "choose website" from the touch screen, and then a keyboard magically appears. then you poke at the keyboard until you have your word typed out and then poke the "okay" button. then you are taken to your website but the keyboard disappears.

at first, i didn't know how to get it back.

then i poked at the screen a lot and discovered that if you poke on the screen in the place where you need to type something (like your login name), the keyboard reappears. unfortunately, you have to do this for every field you want to type in (meaning you hit "okay," keyboard disappears. you hit the next empty space on the screen and the keyboard reappears).

now.

you know how touch screens can be a little tempermental and hard to work when you're NOT aiming at tiny little boxes and when you're also NOT BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON A STAIRMASTER? right. you see where i'm going with this.

but say you DO get the keyboard to appear and you ARE actually, miraculously, after much frantic screen-jabbing, typing out the body of a blog entry. hurrah! you might think. until you try to actually "type" whereupon you enter a whole new world of ergonomic acrobatics.

do me a favor? picture a keyboard on the bottom half of your computer screen. see it? now put your hands on it, in a position like you would for typing on a flat (not vertical) keyboard.

are you doing it?*

is any part of that comfortable?

right. of course not. it hurts your fingers, wrists, and shoulders. and i'm not going to ask you to stand up and pretend you're climbing stairs and THEN try and type vertically, but um. it certainly is one way to forget about your workout.

know what makes it even MORE fun? you know how when you work out, you get warm? like, not only do you sweat, but your body temperature actually rises? well, right. and now consider that touch jab-at screens are heat-sensitive. so the more i worked out, the warmer my fingers got, the more precise i had to be at aiming. EXCEPT the more i worked out, the more winded i got, the harder finger control (obviously) became.

all in all, i am not entirely sure how it was that i managed to get a whole entry out and also not sprain anything or, when i really think about it, fall off the stairmaster and die. but i didn't.

and thus, as much as i would love to limit my blog postings to only those written from inside the gym,** probably i should not tempt fate.



*don't lie to me.

**when a stranger blogs: we were able to trace the entry! it was coming from inside the gym!!!