Carb Stupid

i bought dinner tonight for me and the comic. and while i was selecting the various dinner components, i decided that a home cooked* meal perhaps requires dessert.

now, a couple years ago this would have been an impossibility, seeing as the world was still pro-low-fat, high-sugar dessert options that were loaded with calories and all sorts of unnatural badness.

whereas this evening, i was able to stroll the aisles and look for carb-friendly foods. and i selected Carb Smart rocky road ice cream. and of course i realize that this is ridiculous because:
  1. i am supposed to be eating healthy foods, i.e., non-processed stuff. and for some reason, i think maybe Carb Smart ice cream is not so much "unprocessed" as it is loaded with things i can't pronounce (and don't want to).
  2. my tummy does not respond well to milky products, ESPECIALLY not products that started out naturally "dairy" but have since been processed (see #1) to some other form of Sort Of Dairy.
  3. there is a very low likelihood that i will eat the recommended portion size (because no one who goes through the trouble of eating ice cream (or whatever, you know, a substance that is a reasonable facsimilie thereof) eats less than a cup).

but all this is not the point. the point is that i continue to eat consciously, and um. something else. actually, i can't remember what my point was because it's almost 8 and i haven't eaten yet.

*to wit: neither am i referring to my home nor am i the one cooking it. fear not, i have not gone all domestic on you.


  1. I hope this means you left the Carb Smart in the freezer and got some fresh fruit instead.

    Besides, you've made a good first step. Which is something I've finally recognized...I continue to eat consciously. WE'RE GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME!!!

    And, don't worry, I wasn't afraid you started cooking in your home. I figured if you did, we'd have another great entry to look forward to :)

  2. mmm processed dairy food.... i always love how they can't call it "cheese."

  3. Maybe you could try soy “ice cream”? Low sugar soy ice cream isn't quite the same as ice cream but I'm willing to bet it tastes as good if not better than "Carb Smart ice cream" and you can probably find a brand of it that's healthier, more pronounceable, and won't give your tummy the dairy distress.

  4. hey... since you're both doing comedy... can you really refer to yourself AND the comic??

  5. oh hey. look at that. mean anonymous comment? *poof* gone like that.

    and yet i get to reply anyway! (muahahahaha! i am drunk i tell you! drunk with power!!)

    so here's what i have to say, because it feels good to say it: i have not always been this size, and i know how not to be this size. so when i am stupid and do stupid things, i feel okay pointing them out. but you know, thanks for the help!

  6. hey- at least leave the mean comments up long enough for me to read them!! :(

    -el snarkster

    p.s. ordered the dress!

  7. shananigans is right, Tofutti actually isn't that bad :)

  8. oh look, another one gone! *poof, poofity, poof, poof, poof*

    and if you're too dim to understand this, i will spell it out for you. i do not like deleting comments. i feel uncomfortable doing so because i feel it hinges on censorship. but i am trying to get over feeling guilty for my deletions (thus all the "lighthearted" poofing) because sometimes i feel it's necessary.

    "necessary" = when a comment is nothing but mean-spirited. when a comment is intended to hurt my feelings (and does) and also doesn't raise a discussable point. why allow such negativity to fester? what purpose does it serve here? it just riles everyone up.

    so if you're not interested in playing nice, perhaps this isn't the best playground for you.

    p.s. if you're going to get all uppity with me and use my full name for emphasis, at least spell it correctly.

  9. Delete away! This is not Craigslist Rant and Rave. You never delete dissenting opinions...that would be censorship. You delete hurtful, mean comments from a-holes who come to your personal blog, and say things to purposely try to be hurtful. The majority of us do realize that these, always anonymous posts, are just miserable people who can only feel better about themselves but putting other's down. We know that. You don't have to explain why you delete them, and you have every right to.

  10. This is my official policy on comments, as stated in my profile at LJ:

    My life is an open book. Yes, feel free to leave a comment. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. That said, if you leave a nasty, negative comment, or something that is critical but in no way constructive, please know that I have zero time or tolerance for online pissing contests. Seriously, grow the fuck up. I'll just delete it. Let's save us both the trouble, 'mkay?

    Does it stop people from leaving them? Um, no. It's just a blanket statement that absolves me of my guilt complex when I click that little "X" to delete it.

  11. Since your post had no real point (as you point out), then neither does my comment, other than this: give us more info on the open mic stuff - how you feel about, how it has gone. And more about your family...

  12. Ha, I never thought about dairy being processed into some other form of Sort of Dairy. That's kind of gross.

    Thanks for helping me out on my diet with this revelation.

    What is yummy is non-fat, sugar free pudding (because we all know that pudding is a natural occuring vegetable).


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