Monday, July 04, 2005

Women Should Have More Men Like This On Their List

birthday stories are coming.

in fact, i'm on my way out the door to go do more to write about.

in the meantime, i thought i'd link to this. because that's what friends are for. certainly you may disagree; it's not my intention to be controversial. but since the can of worms was opened, i think this sums up my take on the matter.

El_G just says it better than i ever could.

47 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

    from a new IIF :)

    (found you through craigslist and have been reading ever since)

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  2. since el gallo starts off with a quantitative analysis - I'll pose this to you all - is there any # (of either partners or one night stands) that is TOO much?

    Given his (and all your uproar) I expect the answer to be 'no'. Assuming the person (be it male or female)is being safe and happy with all decisions...REALLY? Someone with 50.. 100..169 partners and 15.. 27.. 33 one nighters - no prob for you girlz?

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  3. no, there is no number that is too much. the term "too much" simply does not work in reference to sex.

    too much food = feel sick, gain weight
    too much alcohol = hangover, possible addiction
    too much exercise = injury

    too much sex = ????

    a person can have sex ONCE and get an STD. or she can have sex 1,000 times and not get one.

    she can have sex ONCE and get pregnant. she can have sex 1,000 times and not get pregnant.

    quantity of sexual encounters or sex partners is meaningless. literally.

    the only instance i can think of where "too much" works with sex is if a person has so much sex in a short period of time (like hours) that she gets a little raw.

    how sex affects a person's self-esteem depends on the person and her perspective, her religious beliefs, the attitudes her friends and family have toward sex, her emotional makeup, AND whatever her self-esteem was BEFORE the sexual encounter.

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  4. Happy Birthday Kristy!!!
    -Hugs from DC

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  5. and i forgot to add:

    no, there is no number that i would consider "too much" when it comes to sex partners.

    sex should always be safe and consensual. beyond that, it does not matter to me how many partners a person chooses to have.

    i think it's fine for someone to have one or two partners in her whole life. i think it's fine for someone to have hundreds of partners in her life. whatever works for each individual.

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  6. thanks for a good honest answer

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  7. since el gallo starts off with a quantitative analysis - I'll pose this to you all - is there any # (of either partners or one night stands) that is TOO much?

    Kirin, I don't understand your question. Too much for what? For me, you could just as well be asking "Is there any such thing as too many golf balls?"

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  8. e-g,

    I am asking this:

    if you met a woman/man and liked her/him and then learned that they had previously slept with a HUGE number of people and had many, many one night stands..would that matter to you at all on any level? Is there some number that might make you wonder about their choices?

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  9. d.oh!!!! I don't even want to TRY counting. I'm sure it's somewhere around where you are. :) Rock on K. Happy birthday sister!!!! Get a birthday lay!!!! =)

    It's Valerie. I just don't want to log into this computer. HE might find MY blog. YIKES!!!!

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  10. Hope you have a great birthday, K (I'm sure it's still the 4th of July over there) With fireworks.

    And I shall mope for the rest of the year that I didn't make it to your list. Well, a week, at least ...

    Birthday stories awaited.

    J.A.P.

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  11. happy birthday, kristy! :)

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  12. WHAT PEOPLE DO IN THIER BEDROOM IS THIER OWN BUSINESS. AND UNLESS YOU ARE IN THERE....BUTT OUT!!!

    JEEZ PEOPLE GROW UP!! AND MOVE ON!!!

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  13. FWIW, Kristy, I had sex with 42 men before I got married at 36.

    I always liked that scene in Four Weddings and A Funeral where Andie McDowell listed all her lovers.

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  14. Kirin, I think if I met a person who made too many wrong decisions in life regarding who they voted for, are they working in a job that they hate just for the money, have they taken stands just to go along with the status quo, have they stood back and watched an injustice and not stepped up, vs. have they had numerous safe sexual encounters with consenting adults because they chose to and felt comfortable with what they were doing...well, you figure it out.

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  15. Hey Girlie Girl Happy big 29 again

    wish I could say iy in person but I cant
    I lost my arms in a work accident and my nose gets tired from typing....

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  16. Kirin,

    No, I would not think less of, nor be less likely to date someone who had had a "huge" number of sexual partners. I think sex is a good thing.

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  17. Happy Birthday!

    I was a little weirded out about my 30th birthday but an older friend had the BEST advice for me:
    get dressed up, go out for a fab dinner with your best girlfriends, get blindingly drunk on premium martinis....and the next day you'll wake up and you'll be 30! And being 30 will not even come close to being as painful as your nasty hangover ;-)

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  18. That's a lengthy legacy of lusty listy love.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Anyone want a martini?

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  19. Happy belated 30th! 30 was my most liberating birthday and I hope yours is/was too!

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  20. sex is a good thing. is there something wrong with having lots of it with one person?

    Of course there is a number that is too many. Who wants to be just a stat or be constantly compared to the entire USO when they're making love to someone? That being said, Kristy's numbers are totally fine and normal.

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  21. Gee, last anon, I'll bet she's glad she got your approval. I guess you decide what number is "fine and normal". Usually one-night stands don't care if they are a stat or not, that's what nsa is all about. Maybe many of us don't compare our partners to others when making love or just having sex. You're probably projecting your own insecurities. THAT being said, can the anon's, whom I suspect are men, and possibly the same one, get over Kristy's sex life and her choices? You're starting to sound creepy, scary, obsessive and stalkerish. Maybe if you had a "fine and normal" sex life, you wouldn't be so concerned about someone elses.

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  22. Who wants to be just a stat or be constantly compared to the entire USO when they're making love to someone?

    Do you often tune completely-out during sex, and think of something other than what you and your partner are doing?

    If so, maybe one of you would benefit from having sex with the entire USO. Someone might learn something that would keep your mind on the task at hand.

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  23. Anonymous said...
    sex is a good thing. is there something wrong with having lots of it with one person?


    Nope, nothing wrong with that at all. It's your body and your life, so you should do what you're comfortable with and what makes you happy

    Of course there is a number that is too many. Who wants to be just a stat or be constantly compared to the entire USO when they're making love to someone? That being said, Kristy's numbers are totally fine and normal.

    Hmmm...I just don't feel that way (like a stat or constantly compared). *shrug*

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  24. I'm a day late, but I hope you had a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    I turned 31 this year and I don't mind getting older. Sex just gets better and better every year. You can never have to much of a good thing!

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  25. I think there needs to be distinction made here regarding "too much"... I think we are looking at two different things.

    There is no way to say that there is a number of sexual partners too high for individual. As long as that person is happy and content with their number, no one else's can say that the number is too high.

    It seems that what might be better discussed is what happens when one person's sexual partners exceeds what another person's comfort level is... i.e., What happens when Person A has more sex partners than Person B would feel comfortable having? Person A still has no problem with their number, but now Person B is having problems relating to Person A because they cannot understand how that number, a number they would not be uncomfortable with, poses no moral problems for Person A.

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  26. I'm 40 & my number is 13. I wish I were 30 and my number were 20!

    One of my 13 lovers said to me, "When I'm in a rocking chair at the old folks home, I would rather look back with a smile remembering the things I have done, rather than regret the things I haven't."

    Of course, he probably said this because he was married.

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  27. I was the last anon. I am not a man. and i don't mean that there's a number by which people should be judged, but also those of you who say you can't judge someone on their numbers should not be so unsympathetic to those who do have a problem with high numbers. I do not want to sleep with someone who has slept with 500 women. I just don't. i don't think itmakes someone a bad person, it's just my preference. the kind of person i am does not mesh with that kind of person. and if that makes me an ahole or an anti-feminist well then so be it.

    Oh and it seems to me that most of the blogging going on seems to be to garner some kind of approval for one's lifestyle. Posting your sex life on the internet is not exactly discreet so I don't need sass about making a judgement on a public declaration.

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  28. Happy Birthday, Kristy. Am sad that my roomie and I missed your birthday party but maybe if one of my friends wasn't an idiot and didn't leave her tab open/her credit card in the bar all Friday night, forcing us to wait until the bar reopened on Saturday morning before making the six hour drive to San Francisco from LA rather than starting on the bright as originally planned, we would've made it. I'm sure your party was a blast and you'll be happy to know that the box o' wine we bought you as a present was sucked down by five exhausted girls at the hotel.

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  29. the kind of person i am does not mesh with that kind of person.

    I don't know about everyone else, but this is basically what I was getting at. What is good for someone else, doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for everyone.

    I think you can be accepting of something in theory(like large number of sexual partners) and also realize that for some reason it doesn't match your own personal idea of what an ideal partner would be like. That alone doesn't make you a bad person or an "ahole or an anti-feminist". The problem, in my opinion, arises when you decide that everyone should think the way you do and then you attempt to shame those who prefer a different approach to their personal life.

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  30. This blog is starting to sound like Craigslist Rant & Rave. Just like on CL RR, as the thread goes on and on and on, people lose sight of the initial issue. This started because someone made a negative judgment about Kristy and called into question her self-esteem because she had a certain number of sexual encounters that THEY felt was too much. Somehow, this has now gotten turned around to where people are on the defensive about being more conservative in their sex lives. It was the original anonymous poster who attempted "to shame those who prefer a different approach to their personal life." Not the other way around. As for posting one's sex life on the internet. As Kristy pointed out, she did not post it on this blog. It was brought over here by that same judgmental, oppressive poster. Personally, I'm ready to move on from this tired discussion. I personally don't give a s**t what anyone thinks of me, my lifestyle, or my choices and I certainly don't spend my time concerned about anyone else's. Ciao

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  31. more funny stories!

    less boring bickering!

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  32. Kristy,
    First, happy, happy birthday! I'm so sorry I didn’t make your party Saturday. I even had it in my PDA, but I was fighting a cold all weekend and I didn’t want that to be my gift to you ;) Second, I agree with everything Shull O'Fit says, so I won't waste space echoing it. Except to say that there really is something deeply, deeply creepy about someone who is stalking you from blog to blog to get as many details about your life as possible (obsess much?) and then preach at you about it. Of course I’m sure it has nothing to do with a void in Anonymous's own sex life -- everyone likes to sleep with a potential stalker, all wracked with pent up sexual guilt and frustration. What's hotter than that?

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  33. Kiki - That was a really nice post by El G, but don't you think you owe it to him to let him know that you were making it all up? Dad

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  34. Dad of Kiki,

    You are the greatest.

    Sincerely,
    Anonymous Admirer

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  35. Kristy, from one Kristy in the Bay Area to another, Happy Birthday! Turning 30 is fantastic and liberating. It feels so much like a fresh start, free from all the garbage (your 20's) that went before. Congratulations!

    As for the "list" -- good for you. The world would be a better place if we all lived with less shame. You make me proud, and you've taught me a lesson. And when all else fails, just BRAZEN YOUR WAY THROUGH IT.

    Love,
    The Other Kristy

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  36. K-

    Happy 2nd annual 29th birthday. There were fireworks here for you in NY. Everyone should shut up and mind their own business with this sex stuff. There isn't a person living inside or outside of my computer that doesn't have some type of skeletons in their closet. Kristy chose to air her "dirty laundry," and if anything its a testament to her character that she is confident enough to put something like that on the internet for all to see. My biggest question though is of all the possible lists in the world to put on the internet, why that? As far as everyone's opinion on here, the bottom line is that some people care how many partners that their partner has slept with and some don't. Personally, I wouldn't want to sleep with a girl that has been with 50 guys mainly for fear of catching something. Yes I know that I can sleep with one person and catch something just as easily, but when you buy 50 tickets for the $150 million lottery as opposed to 1, you have better odds of winning....

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  37. Grandma you start out by saying everyone should shut up and mind their own business and then you go on to question K about her post and then go on to make demeaning comments about women. Who cares what you think? For all we know, you not only have a desease, you probably got it from some anonymous sex you paid $30 for!

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  38. Alexis said...
    "Grandma you start out by saying everyone should shut up and mind their own business and then you go on to question K about her post and then go on to make demeaning comments about women. Who cares what you think? For all we know, you not only have a desease, you probably got it from some anonymous sex you paid $30 for!"

    Did you even read my comment? How you could interpret it that way is well, um, scary. Is English like a second laguage to you or something? Yes, I said people should shut up and mind their own business, but that was in Kristy's defense, so people would drop it and leave her alone. Did you skip over the Happy Birthday line? Because, you know, Happy Birthday is pretty demeaning. In my language: "and if anything its a testament to her character that she is confident enough to put something like that on the internet for all to see", is a compliment and should not and could not be taken any other way. That brings us to my "Demeaning comments about women." Which line was that anyway? Are you eluding to:"I wouldn't want to sleep with a girl that has been with 50 guys mainly for fear of catching something"? Because maybe its just me but I don't perceive that to be an attack on women, just my personal preference. **note, I said 50 not 20 (50 is two and a half more people than 20)** So again, I ask how that was demeaning towards women? You obviously are not that bright Alexis. (Demeaning towards you) Oh yeah, I don't have to pay for sex because I have a wife for that. And thanks for saying that I probably have a disease because that's not, well, demeaning.

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  39. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  40. Happy Birthday K,
    Thanks for sharing with us! I hope your 30th was more than you wanted. Turning 30 was the best day of my life and started me on the path that has led to many of the most joyous moments I have had. I'm 37 now and wouldn't be 27 again for all the tea in china! (or all the beer in Munich!)..

    As for the partners... did we time-warp back to 1905 and I missed it?
    geez..
    hugs to you!

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  41. Grandma, it appears that you are the one with the reading comprehension problem. I suggest you spend more time with your wife and stop surfing the net to comment on other peoples' sex lives. Oh, and by the way, most people who do pay for sex have wives at home.

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  42. Um, am I missing something here? At what point was I commenting on anyone else's sex life????? Oh and by the way, "most people" that have good marriages don't go paying for sex while their wives are at home. This is amazing, I try to come to Kristy's defense by saying that it takes character to put that type of stuff on the internet and I am getting killed. You people are unreal.

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  43. If you don't get it, you never will and it's not worth the effort to explain other than your original post reaks of passive aggressive insults while trying to sound like you're coming to Kristy's defense.

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