To Tell The Truth

el_gallo: oh, man. that is PRIME fodder for your blog!

DG: are you going to post about that?

me: um, no. i can't.

DG: why? did you tell him about your blog?!?!

me: um, yeah. i always tell them about my blog.

DG: but your dating stories are so good*! maybe you should start a secret blog just to talk about your dates. well, from now on there has to be a rule: you can't tell any of your dates about your blog until you think you're going to enter into a relationship with them.

me: that's probably a good idea.

so yeah. on our way to yesterday's pool party, i regaled my friends with stories of my dating trials and tribulations. because in the last month, i have probably been on no fewer than 25 dates. i'm not kidding.

and usually prior to going on a date with a guy, i tend to share my blog URL with him, because i feel it's only fair. i mean, this blog is me -- if a guy doesn't like it or find it entertaining, the chances that he'll like me or find me entertaining are slim-to-none.

also, i really don't like blogging about people without their consent or knowledge. i write about me and my friends, but if i'm going to write about someone i don't know well, i either get their permission or make their description so vague as to be undetectable.

i can't tell you the number of times men have looked at me on a first date, suddenly horror-stricken. "you're not going to BLOG about this, are you?"

(in fact, one guy i was corresponding with actually told me he couldn't date me because he'd "dated a blogger" and "needed to take a break from that." whateverthefuck THAT means.)

so on the one hand, i'm trying to be tactful and gracious and not hurt anyone's feelings.

on the other hand, you're missing out on some prime stories.

thoughts? suggestions?

*good = horrifying


  1. Okay, this is just mean of you. I HATE when people do the "I have something juicy and I just can't tell you" thing.

    Who cares about the ramifications to your dating life! Entertain us dammit!


    Okay well are there at least some guys that you don't particularly want to see again? Could you at least tell us those?

    what about hints? Could you just like say you had a date involving margaritas, a sombero and a condom ribbed for your pleasure?

    Come on, you got to give us SOMETHING.

  2. Secret blog. I have one. I use it. Not only so I can write about people and not have them read about it, but also so I can write about my dating/sex life and not have my brother read it. Because that's just being a good sister.

  3. Fuck 'em! Spill it all!

    Oh, and I have no idea why I have such a reputation as an instigator.

  4. If they can't stand the heat, they should stay out of your "kitchen".

  5. I'm with el_g.


    It's your duty as a "blogger" (whateverthefuck THAT means, indeed!).

  6. Statute of limitations on blogging? Maybe have a two-week wait period, and if you haven't talked to the guy since, you can blog about it. He's probably bitter, anyway. ;-)

  7. you know they secretly want to read about themselves anyway. i say do it. and do it with gusto and pinash! by the way, you are ever-so-charming and witty...a pleasure to read, indeed!

  8. you know, a guy i once went out with blogged about our first date. although it wasnt creepy or offensive, the only thing i didnt appreciate is that he wrote my first and last name. you dont do that, so that has to count for something! tell us your stories!

  9. 25 Dates in MONTH?!?!

    wow. Couldn't you do some sort of dating montage, briefly skimming the high points, being vague enough to tease your audience into wanting yet more?

    25 dates? Different guys all 'round?

    Oh to be 30 again.


  10. if they're that insecure, then they deserve whatever gets written about them.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell us your stories. we love you and they are just first dates :)

  11. I'm with Digger: *25* DATES?!?!. Please tell me that's an exaggeration.

    I mean are you saying you DID NOT DATE only 6 days all month??? Or are you doubling up? Like a lunch date AND a dinner date on the same day?

    Either ways, impressive and scary.

    I mean I assume these are all with different guys. Where the hell do you find all them all?? I recognize the screening process is difficult, but shouldn't you have an assistant that can read resumes and look at photos. Pare that list down to 15 or 10 at least.

    You're like a serial dater.

    Me, I don't have the strength. There was a stretch last year when I went on like 5 dates in two weeks and I literally was ready to die alone. It was so much work.

    Of course, there is one thing working for you: you're a girl. If I went on 25 dates in a month, I'd be $200,000 in debt.

    As for the blog, just blog it. If they suck, it's not your fault. I would be offended if you didn't blog about our date.

  12. If you dont blog about your dates for us I'm teelin your mom and Dad so you better spill it......where can I get a hold of your parents.....Or I'm comming down there and whoopin it outa your ass not the bruised side either......

    cute ass bruise and all

    Brian Hurley

  13. I agree with 'nilla, you can't tell us that you have all this juicy stuff and not share. That's like telling me you got me this really cool Christmas present and then you decide to not give me the gift. So please share with us, come on PRETTY PLEASE!

  14. i don't think you should give them your blog url before the first date.

    you can give them sufficient info about you in an email to help them decide whether they are interested in meeting you.

    most first dates do not result in second dates, so a) those people do not need to know as much about you as your blog conveys and b) you deserve to have those bad first (and last) dates redeemed by turning them into entertainment for the masses!

    i respect your policy about whom you will write in here about, but i do think that someone you spend a few hours with on a first/last date is acceptable fodder -- as long as you write it in such a way that hardly anyone would ever guess it's them.

    if giving them your blog address means you cannot write about 25 different events in the past month that you otherwise would, it's not worth giving it to them!

    save the blog address at least for the 2nd date. :)

    i don't know what to do about the dates you've already had with people who know about your blog... personally, i couldn't do that to them -- write something that will inevitably be funny at their expense. you could make a special secret blog 'o dates and only give the address out to people who email you...

  15. As someone who previously lived in Ess Eff, but probably didn't have the strength to do that much dating in a month (Yikes! I guess I spent too much time in the Occidental Bar and Grill...mmmnnn whiskey)).

    Bring it on...The blog is part of you ...(and this is just filler between the exercise updates...right?)

    Go for it!

  16. 1)Wait a week
    2)Change the names of the guy, resturant and hotel (to protect the guilty)


  17. It's not like you're mentioning names. It's your right to blog! (and our right to want more)

  18. Yeah, your blog *is* you, but so are your baby pix and medical files and high school sports/math/drama trophies, and you wouldn't feel obligated to share those before a first date -- and they're probably not being that up-front!

    But then, what do I know? I haven't had 25 dates in the last 3 years.

  19. you should start another blog about your dating and just not put their names on it.

  20. Ideas:

    Use a fake name. If he's a good guy, you'll write good things, no one will know who it is but him, and he'll be happy to read about it. If he sucks, no one will know who it is, and it's his fault he sucked, so it doesn't matter if he reads it.

    Or, create a livejournal (in addition to this). Then, you can allow your friends and your IIFs to read it, but not let the boys read it. that would be excellent.

  21. Post it...use first someone else said, if they can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen...just beware...because, he too, might be a blogger and you know some people are just plain mean!

  22. I'm totally with Sweetone. Don't tell him about the blog. Frankly, that's a little TMI before the first date. Don't you want him to figure out things on his own? You are ruining the mystery. Especially since there is a picture of your ass on your blog.

    And boys, they are dumb. They need mystery to be interested. Sad but true.

  23. My latest date complained when I didn't blog about our date. And then when I mentioned him kind of offhandedly in a couple entries, he complained that I took the two rudest things he said to inspire me. Eh whatever. I blogged about the last date and he shut up about it. He especially shut up when he read the part about where I saw a guy I, um, "dated" coming out of a club and didn't mention it. Oops.

  24. Sometimes its a passive aggressive way to talk about relationship troubles you might have lol! If they read it in your blog they seem to care more, cus 'others' read it. That has been my experience at least!

  25. Change the names and other identifying details and write about everything else as is. None of us will know the person if we pass them on the street.

  26. Keep doing what you're doing. If the date turns out to be a good one, the only schlump you'll be blogging about is you. You could, if you wanted, take a short cut. Have the prospective date call me first. The downside, of course, is that you'd never date again. Love, Dad.

  27. I think you should go out with Jake, 'cause he spends, like, $8000 on EACH date!

  28. pop's is reading the blog now.. I hope he's cool with everything.

    I was once accused of breaking up with someone on my blog. All I said was that we 'probably' weren't going to be dating any more, I just wasn't sure. I don't think she found that amuzing.

  29. Put the world on notice....Show up to the date in this t-shirt.

  30. First, I agree with a lot of the previous commentators - I don’t think you're obligated to share your URL before even one date. There are lots of things I wouldn’t share about myself in that initial email exchange, just because this random guy really hasn't earned the right to know my entire life story, especially when I don’t know his. For instance, what I look like naked is part of who I am. While I may not have the perfect body, I'm not ashamed of it, and I hope the guys I date will like it. And it's true if we start dating and keep dating, he'll certainly get to see me naked at some point. But that doesn’t mean I would send out naked photos of myself along with my response to a guy's ad! I guess there's some argument in favor of it, since there's no point in dating a guy can't appreciate the way I look naked and I might as well not waste my time... But just the same, I prefer to keep a little mystery by sending only clothed pictures of myself and letting them earn the naked part at my discretion after we've actually met.
    So by the same logic, I think it would be fine to include in your email correspondence some funny examples of the way you write about your life taken from your blog, but not give up the URL till you're sure this guy is worth losing the right to tell us your funny stories. Plus, in terms of respecting his privacy, why is it more of a violation to post your stories in your blog than to tell them to your (non-imaginary) friends in person? (provided of course that you don’t give his name or other identifying details that have the potential to publicly embarrass him).
    Of course, I’m biased - I want the stories. ;)

  31. I think you should just tell us now... You'll probably just tell us eventually anyways, I mean you already posted the contents of my PRIVATE email to you...

    King Od

  32. Would you really want to date someone that didn't have a sense of humor about themself?

    but i would be worried that the story you might tell would be as revealing of you as it would be of the person you are writing about...

  33. I was one of those "25" -- and thankfully was spared the URL for the blog -- although she did blather on about it incessantly during our one and only (thankfully!) date... I checked it out afterwards -- pretty much captures her life in writing... to say not all that interesting..

  34. Sour grapes, Mr. One of the 25?

  35. LOL!

    "Mr. One of the 25" must either be a troll... or, despite not getting the URL from K, was obsessed enough to stalk her online!

  36. hi anonymous,

    oh were you? one of the 25 i mean? care to share with anyone where we went or what i wore? or who we met or what was ordered?

    because i can't imagine you're for real.

    though if you are, i might have to wonder why you seem so bitter...


  37. Mr. One of the 25's response:

    "You wore that thing, and your hair was that way, and we went to that place and had that drink, then we went to that other place and oh, that's right ... I'm making this up because lying about going on a date w/ K makes me feel better that I've not been on 25 dates my whole life, let alone in the last month."

  38. K- do what feels right to you.

    Oh, but if you do start an anon blog-- make sure to tell ME the address so I can keep up with the storyline (I SWEAR I won't tell anyone!!) :)

  39. If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen as far as I'm concerned. Tell us your stories! Who cares about the men!

  40. keep sharing the blog before the date. the stuff you put on here is - after all for the entire world to see - so it can't be THAT personal.

    rather, i think it's a good screening process for the guy - if he likes it, he'll like you. if he doesn't he'll tell you he has to wash his hair that night.

    and - i think of it as your own personal glossy brochure. c'mon, you even managed to make your bruised behind look glam. (btw, go girl.)

  41. Dear K,

    I think you are not obliged to share directly your personal URL to someone specially when it's just your first date. Each of us has our own secrets. Anyways I think you don't have to do some stupid thing like you will stop telling us your dating experiences. Lots of us K loves to drop by in your blog and read your inspiring posts. If you really love blogging well let it be. Don't think of those stupid men!


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