When Was The Last Time You Blogged About Your Armpits?

Have you ever thrown out your favorite razor because even though you can just buy replacement blades you realize you have been using the same handle for so long that you can't remember how long but are sure that if you did you'd be totally grossed out because things shouldn't ever live in a shower that long? And then you forget and get into a nice, hot, relaxing shower and are completely wet and soaped up and conditioner-ed before you realize CRAP, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BUY A NEW RAZOR and then wondered what the hell you were going to do and maybe even envisioned running out of the shower to get your husband's electric razor? But then you thought about how you'd just drip all over the place and get cold (and you remember the last time you tried to shave your legs when you had goosebumps and how you still maybe have scars) and not only that, but you have actually no idea where your husband even keeps his electric razor OR how it works and if it's safe to use in the shower? And then you think about what it would look like if you just thought it was safe to use in the shower but then you electrocuted yourself? And you were found dead in that position? Like, hunched over and wet and only a quarter shaven? And then that becomes such a plausible scenario in your head that you start to fear other ways you might accidentally keel over in the shower? Because this isn't the first time you've had shower issues? Or even the second? Nor is it the first time you've almost keeled over in a bathroom? That wasn't even yours? And then you look down and remember why you were thinking about this all in the first place and figure "You know what? A little shampoo under the arms isn't gonna hurt anything"?

Oh. Me, neither.