Fool Me Once

Hooooooo no.

Melissa, who I'm sure was just being sweet and helpful, commented the following:
Don't let any of it fool you. amazon says:

(direct quote) "want it by dec. 22? 17 days left for free super saver shipping
21 days left for two-day shipping"

17 days! and they will still send you stuff for free. and the amazon is the big gorilla that has everything. williams sonoma, go pound sand!

Now, some of you faithful readers may recall that I discovered Amazon saying the same thing last year. And even if you don't, you should really go read the archives because they can save you from being the dot-cocky shopper I was right up until I had a good old-fashioned holiday freakout.

The brief freak-out is summarized here where I use the word FUCK a lot.

The ways in which Amazon reached in and stole my super-saver shipping dreams from me and nearly left all of my family devoid of any christmas presents is discussed here. BE WARNED.

But even funnier?

I was perusing my archives and read the part about how I decided for some mystery reason to make meatballs for a holiday party despite that I don't really cook. The results were um, funny. But here's my favorite part about this archive:
i made enough for a group of 8 to 10 people to have as a side dish (as meatballs are generally intended) and have enough meat leftover to make about 842 more. or so.

on the other hand, this has allowed me the rare opportunity to announce that as of this moment, i have actual LEFTOVERS in my fridge. like, something i could make an actual MEAL out of.

Do you know why this is so funny?

Because a few weeks ago, when I went through my major apartment overhaul and got rid of lots of things (and Ish hid in the kitchen and decided to clean my fridge) do you know what he found in the freezer?

Yes, of course. So despite that I hand made something from scratch and had leftovers and even went so far as to pack and freeze them, I still never managed to eat them.

I fear for my someday children.


  1. hmm... perhaps i'll get the shopping done this week (ha- yeah right!)... trusting the big gorilla does seem sort of ill-advised.

  2. I ordered some books from Amazon 5 days ago for Christmas gifts (so, November 25th, so ONE MONTH prior to Christmas Day), and was alerted yesterday that THREE BOOKS MAY NOT ARRIVE UNTIL DECEMBER 27TH.

    Right. Pissed.

  3. I never trust Amazon. If at all possible I shop from other websites as early as possible. I'm ordering my gifts this weekend. All from Barnes &

    I'm having a money-crunched Christmas this year so most people are getting home-baked brownies. That makes this much easier, at least with the shipping-induced stress. Now I just have to make sure I don't burn any of the batches of brownies.

  4. Oh kiki, your someday children will be just fine.

    (At least this is what I tell myself about my own someday children. I'm choosing to believe that I will become a preparer of delicious and nutritious meals when I HAVE to.)

    Also, hi Beth!


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