Behind

I'd like to point out that it isn't even December yet. That I still have turkey leftovers in my fridge and they are in good shape. That even though Williams-Sonoma wants to give me a heart attack, it is still November and I really don't accept the fact that I am behind.

Except I know I am.

How does everyone do it? How do you flick the Holiday Switch on? I feel like it was only days ago that I was traipsing around the city as one-fourth ABBA, and the next thing I know my a cappella group is standing in front of a Christmas tree in a mall singing Do You Hear What I Hear? for bored and hungry people waiting for their tables at the TGIRubyChiliBees next door.

I mean, as fun as the mall-singing was (and it actually was, I felt like I was in grade school again!), I do not feel the Holiday Spirit yet.

Instead, I hear the music at the grocery store (Is there anything more cliched and pathetic than buying frozen Lean Cuisine pizzas at a discount grocery store while Feliz Navidad plays in the background? No. No, there is not.) and see the lights on the streets and jingling commercials on television and know there are eggnog lattes out there waiting for me, but I'm just not ready. I refuse to believe that there are only like, 20-some shopping days left until Christmas. That just can't be right, can it?

Over the weekend I begrudgingly pulled my Christmas Decorations Box out of my closet and re-assembled my fake tree from last year and got as far as sitting both of them on my desk in my bedroom. They remain there, laughing at me.

The tree, I should note, came with pre-strung lights, and even though it took me the better part of a half-hour to get it standing upright despite that it's only 3 feet tall and I HAD A FRIEND HELPING ME, for some reason only the bottom half of the tree will light. Ish tried to fix the problem last night and nearly electrocuted himself. I figure at this point I have two options -- un-pre-string the tree of its lights and use my own (which will, I'm certain, take a good two hours at the least), or go buy another altogether. It was only $20.

I suppose option three would be to put all the Christmas stuff back in the closet and pretend it doesn't exist, which is really what I'm leaning towards.

It's not that I don't like the holiday season. I do. I like singing and mingling and festiv-ing and eating and drinking and making merry. I love shopping for my family and -- well, I don't like the traveling part -- then seeing my family and being back east where there is real winter weather.

I just wish that would all start in about another month.