Dear Williams-Sonoma:


How dare you "last-minute shopping" me ALREADY. It is still NOVEMBER. See? Up there? Where it says NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET on the calendar? Bitches.

What? What's that? Oh, ho. I DO NOT CARE if your special, we're-a-cooking-y-store-so-we-have-different-rules "last-minute shopping" refers to Thanksgiving. Some of us don't need added stress right now, you hear me?

In fact, SOME of us might enjoy this time of the holiday season THE MOST because it is the ONLY time during the whole damn season that even if we haven't bought a single thing we are STILL NOT BEHIND.

Do you understand?

Save your panic-inducing emails for NEXT MONTH, please. Or else the terrorists win.


  1. Some of us went to Target today and found that the Christmas cards they wanted were already sold out. NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING, WE SAY!

    Which also means that Bruce Springsteen singing Santa Claus is coming to town should be NOWHERE on the airwaves. NOWHERE.

  2. Maybe someone at Williams Sonoma read your anti Amazon (I *think* it was Amazon) blog entry from last year when you listened to them about the last minute date to order your items, and everything was late?

    to quote DL Huggley from Comic Relief

    "sometimes a sign from god IS the weather man on tv telling you to get your ass on the bus"


  3. So sad all this shopping frenzy- I went the mall and Nordstrom didn't have Xmas decorations up but had a disclaimer in their windows: "We like to let our employees celebrate one holiday at a time." That makes me so mad that they feel they have to do that!

  4. Not only did Thanksgiving come early this year, so are the panic emails?! Sigh, I think the terrorists have already gotten their hands on our capitolist hearts.


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