as i've mentioned before, i could totally get fired for blogging about work because that's just the sort of company i work for.
uh, sort of.
see, i maybe work for a "branch" of a muuuuuuuuuch larger organization. and while our branch is totally cool, our main organization? not so much. so hi. i hope i don't get dooced for writing this.
but man, it's been a hell of a day. week. month.
ONE OF THE THINGS i do for work is produce our company meetings. once a month, we have informal meetings. these take place in three different sessions in our on-site auditorium that seats 125 people. those are stressful, but kind of fun and everyone takes them just seriously enough.
but because there are over 500 employees in our "branch" office, the informal meetings aren't enough. once a quarter, i produce a more formal, offsite meeting for the whole of us, so that we can all be together under one roof. and so that we can all feel inspired and tuned-in and part of this great entity.
it's kind of cool.
and in many ways, this is an AWESOME thing for me to do as my job. i LOVE planning events. i LOVE juggling many things at once, with lots of moving pieces. i LOVE the human side of it, too -- trying to make a business meeting be fun and enjoyable while informative and (sorry) on-brand.
but. but, but.
while it's pretty cool, event planning is one of THE MOST STRESSFUL things i can think of to do. seriously. being responsible for making an event go smoothly is utterly nerve-wracking.
and once a quarter, it really takes it out of me.
for weeks leading up to the event, i have growing worry. and then the night before i never sleep. my mind is on overdrive, coming up with every possible way in which something might go wrong (and then trying to pre-correct for it) because god knows something will.
like when, for example, i'm sitting at the controls while 500 people are staring at the screen, and all of a sudden the presentation JUST STOPS WORKING for reasons such as IT JUST STOPPED WORKING? that's a whole lot of stress.
anyway, our 2nd quarter meeting was this morning and it went just fine.
and only now, on my second beer, do i realize, hmmmm...
the extent to which mental energy going to being sad +
mental energy going to the meeting =
no mental energy for anything else
it explains a lot.
and i think it'll be a good weekend.