Tuesday, November 22, 2005

My New Favorite Chore

okay. so i have about nine bazillion things to write about and no time and no idea how to get all the thoughts out there without writing 300 pages at a time.

i do like the way Whinger writes her stuff. so taking a page from her book blog, maybe i'll just start throwing things out there till i can spend more time writing things that are um, you know, in some way "constructed."

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i have new favorite domestic chore. are you so proud? of course you aren't because you don't know what i'm going to write but you have some idea that whatever it is, it's not going to be a real chore.

and of course, you're right.

because my new favorite "chore" is called "doing laundry." and the way that works is, you gather up all the clothes you've been meaning to wash for five-and-a-half weeks, and then you stuff them in a bag. and then you haul the bag down your three storey walk-up, and then to the corner. and then you cross the street.

now. if you knew where exactly i lived, you'd maybe say here, "but kristy, the laundromat is up the street on the same side as you. where are you going with your laundry bag? are you really THAT directionally impaired?" to which i'd reply, "yes, but that is not why i am crossing the street."

and i would go on to tell you that the dry cleaners across the street has this thing called "wash and fold." and it's really maybe the greatest thing that has ever existed.

because, see, where laundry used to involve spending the better half of a weekend day or an entire week night sorting and lugging and separating and machine-wrangling and quarter-hording and diligent load-watching (to ensure that no one would move your stuff or take your stuff while you're holed up in the world's most depressing building ever constructed), it now involves:
  • shoving your clothes into a bag
  • walking said bag across the street
  • saying to the lovely chinese lady, "wash and fold, please." and also, "sure, wednesday is fine."
and then you hand her your bag and a few days later you return and everything is clean and folded and wrapped in paper and it's completely miraculous.

seriously, i would bring my dishes to a wash and fold if i could.

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the girl who doesn't own a grocery volunteered to make the sweet potatoes, the broccoli casserole, the cranberry sauce, a flaky pastry and cheese h'ors d'oeuvre, and a dessert. for 12 people.

this is what the holidays do to me.

actually, i live sort of a double life. mostly the other, darker half stays hidden...but occassionally the other half rears her head, often around this time of year.

someday, when we are ready, i will tell you about her. but in the meantime, just know that the other half is rather frightening. she's the type who doesn't just own one glue gun, but several, in varying sizes. and also maybe a creme brulee torch and a set of ramekins. and an embosser, for making professional stamps. and possibly is also the kind of girl who'd MAKE HER OWN CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER. or buy furniture at flea markets for the purpose of antique-ing them. she may also be the kind of girl who'd have a subscription to martha stewart living and wait with bated breath for it to be delivered each month.

she's the half who hand makes all her own christmas cards.

unfortunately, there's that other half of me -- the one who runs the show. the one who orders take-out instead of buying groceries and who will acknowledge that there ARE hand-made cards, but will not manage to find a way to actually mail them. and so the darker half mostly remains overshadowed, and only pokes through every so often.

like now. to go tend to sweet potatoes.

24 comments:

  1. whinger is soooo wise! i am glad you followed her lead. your cute ramblngs are very very good to read! i love the line "the girl who does not own a grocery" ;-)

    hi, btw!!!

    love, riseyp - who has still not seen you despite being back home for 4 days now and is just starting to come out of jetlag coma..

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  2. I discovered the wash and fold laundry while living in NYC. And utilized it, often. But something sorta creeps me out about the nice chinese woman washing and folding my underwear.

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  3. Maybe you can hire the half that makes the cards to mail them as well. That way you'll make a lot of money :).

    I love your blog.

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  4. That's a lot of cookin' for a non-grocery type person! You better get busy! :-)

    I sort of have a wash-and-fold deal.... its my kids. ;-)

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  5. Ah, I discovered the wash and fold when my washing machine broke. It is a sweet bit of loveliness - but too expensive to keep up!

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  6. The laundromat brings out my inner snob. One day, when Partner and I were killing an entire Saturday laden with quarters, I declared, "I wasn't BORN to this! I wasn't MEANT to spend Saturdays at the laundromat."
    Y'know, because I come from the old money of teachers and farmers, I am ABOVE the laundromat.

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  7. So good to have a new post from you! I’m lucky that one of our building’s washer/dryer sets is literally about 5 steps from my front door, but yesterday I discovered they upped the price to wash by a whole quarter, damn them! I am not good at quarter hoarding. I like being crafty around the holidays too, but only own one glue gun ;) Good luck with all that cooking. Happy Thanksgiving!

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  8. i have the half who likes to do all of those things... but my other half does not have the patience to wait for them to finish and so is always rushing rushing rushing and thus ruining ruining ruining.


    happy thanksgiving

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  9. Welcome back, have a great T-day and hope to see you Saturday. I used to use the wash and fold directly across from my corner bar, which is also directly across from a laundry mat. Then I started feeling weird everytime I stepped out to smoke and thought about the Chinese man washing my underwear and thinking, how lazy, she could be doing her laundry across the street while sitting on that bar stool for hours on end. (what does that mean anyway...hours on end?...sitting on my end all day.

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  10. Oh my God too funny.. you just reminded me of my best friend I had about 10 years ago.. she had young kids.. so whenever we wanted to go "smoke" we'd say we were going to "do laundry"

    hahahahaha, you had to be there, but thanks for the memories and the laugh!

    Mia

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  11. Hey - can I get the recipe for that "flaky pastry and cheese h'ors d'oeuvre". Sounds yummy! :)

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  12. Ericha2@comcast.net3:41 PM, November 23, 2005

    In San Francisco there is actually something even BETTER than the Wash & Fold around the corner. It's called Alabaster Cleaners

    This is for the true lazy or incredibly busy ones among us. They will come to your house, pick up the laundry, take it away, wash and fold it and return it to you, normally within 24 hours. When I lived in South San Francisco I used them all the time because my work schedule (with 3 jobs) made it difficult for me to find time to do laundry.

    Check them out!

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  13. happy thanksgiving everybody.

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  14. ericha2...thanks!! That's great news. Now it's almost anonymous. No additional guilt tripping while sipping Chocolate Vodka tini's and ignoring the Crackberry emails from work with the wash 'n fold person staring at you. The only complaint I have about these services is, your jeans come back with creases down the middle from the folding and packing in the blue paper...you know? When I'm at the local lesberism bar, tryin' to look all "not quite put together", I can't have creases in my faded Levis. Knowwhatimean? Happy T-day everyone...and good tidings to all...oops, ...oh what the hell, they were already playing Deck the Halls at the Embarcadero today anyway so I guess it's all just blended into one big shopping holiday anyway. Cheers! That covers it all.

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  16. Ok, just one more thing...promise. "Warrior Knitter". I can see a reality show based on your name and pic alone! Survivor knitting with one needle, locked up in a yarn store with other knitters and competing for the "other" needle and varieties of yarn and with little "snags" along the way and having to macrame your way out of places. (I hope macrame isn't some sort of insult to knitters...I claim complete ignorance on the subject). Of course, I have to say, Kristy, I have a hunch that you could win this hands down! (not referring to breezy elegance type hands down). Ok, knit, pearl, drop 2..or whatever. Peace out! (hey, if we post something, realize we made a bunch of typos and delete and then repost right away...do you see the original post too?

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  17. Speaking of "the dark side" from a self proclaimed mercenary and ex-pat in Afghanistan and me being an instructor at Ft. Benning, Georgia to Airborne(legitimate) soldiers, here's an interesting site www.globalpolicy.org/security/docs/minindx.htm Just exactly which corporation are you killing for Haji?

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  18. I always love your posts k, regardless of the format.
    Oh god, I'd love to have a wash and fold laundry. Maybe I'll put that on my xmas list. Or maybe I can just ask dh to get me a little laundry elf to live in the basement. There'd be enough laundry for her to have a full time job.

    Good luck with your multiple personalities!
    Oh, and have a great thanksgiving!

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  19. i know about the double life too, kristy. i know i won't mail the cards, i know i won't remember to get everyone presents, and i know i'll probably not get to do anything for the holidays because i work twelve hours a day on thanksgiving and christmas. but, i still try it, every year. i still try to do the cards (meaning i spend the money and even put them in the envelopes, but don't send them cause i have a weird phobia about mail). i make no money in the three weeks before christmas, but buy presents and then don't send them (the mail phobia again.) then i try to see family on christmas, even though it's one of the hardest weeks in my work of the year. and also proclaim that week to be spring cleaning for some god awful reason. gotta love double personalities.

    hope you have a good thanksgiving, enjoy it for all of us who get to work.

    p.s. any of you going to restaurants for turkey dinner, please be kind to you server. it sucks to work holidays. thanks.

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  20. Wash and fold is the greatest thing ever invented. Unfortunately, around here it's cheaper just to buy a new wardrobe.
    The double life? I have one too. Unfortunately, my darker half only gets around to the spending money part...the actual work has never even begun.

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  21. No Wash and Fold for me. It, umm ..

    Costs more money than is sensible
    Uses cheap industrial detergent, so your clothes smell funny.
    Washes everything in hot, so can ruin delicate clothes.

    Instead, I use the wonders of the laundromat on Folsom and 19th, which is an OK laundromat, but right next door to "The Homestead" (the new name for Dylans).

    So a laundry night involves beer during the wash, then beer during the dry, then a quick fold and maybe a last beer before hawling it home.

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  22. so, HAVE you been doing comedy stand up? I'm really thinking about trying it out. I want to hear what you thought about it!

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