The Crazy Is Loose In My Houses

i will admit to feeling ever-so-slightly glamorous when i blog while waiting for a facial mud mask to dry. like, as though i'm doing a very good job of being single and fabulous when i am sitting at my laptop, carrie bradshaw-like, tending to my beauty needs while relying on high-speed internet access.

i should probably fix myself a cosmo and write about boys.

instead, i will tell you some more random stuff.

thanksgiving was awesome. my friend did an amazing job of prepping her apartment (including rearranging her furniture) to accommodate the onslaught of about ten of us. and the food was scrumptious and the silly movies were fun to watch and i am, as always, grateful for my urban family.

of course, i miss my family back east as well. and didn't get to spend the day with Ish, either, who had his own family to tend to. holidays are always so tricky like that.

on saturday night, i participated in my second open mic (and for the second time, invited no one). it's still awfully terrifying, and i'm still not very good or comfortable. now, okay, sure. no one expects you to be good or comfortable when you start out...but that knowledge does NOT make it any easier to get up on stage. ("oh, it's okay that you're going to suck...")

and oh my goodness. can i just say, for the record, what an interesting bunch of people there are attempting stand-up with me?

watching other newbies can be surreal enough (especially as some of them don't seem to have any sense of why people aren't laughing with them). but getting feedback from them is a whole new dimension in social interaction.

for example.

[context: i ended my 7-minute set with explaining how i'm a mess and telling the mashed potato boob story. (oh yes, i will be using much blog fodder.)]
after the show, a woman i had never seen before came up to me and said, "sweetie, i wanted him to lick the mashed potatoes off you."

um. what?

"i'm sorry?" i asked.

"oh yes. i wanted to hear more. i think your date should try to lick them off you or something. right there in the restaurant. that'd be really funny."

"oh," i said. and then realized that this was to be considered feedback. ohhhh. feedback. ah, yes. duh.

"i'm um, still working this material out," i replied. because what else is there to say without inadvertently launching into a conversation about your breasts with a stranger?

"yeah, i can tell. you'll get there, though." she said. and then she moved in closer to me.

now, before she got to the next part, i was sort of on the fence about this whole feedback thing. i mean, it's nice to hear what people think, right? and also, it's kind of cool that she felt connected to me enough to feel like she knew me. and not only that, but knew me well enough to, i dunno, forgo an actual introduction in favor of telling me that my ex should have licked mashed potatoes off my breasts.

on the other hand, she -- a complete stranger -- thought it perfectly fine to introduce herself by telling me that my ex should have licked mashed potatoes off my breasts.

is that normal in this comedy world? or is that a little bit crazy? i wasn't sure, frankly.

and then there was the next part. wherein she explained with great insistance that astrology explains everything in life. it does! down to the last detail! and you know, it has helped her to understand herself completely. and also the reason i am a mess because neptune is probably running around loose in one of my houses.

fucking neptune.

it is my goal to blog every day this week. and to book my plane tickets for christmas. and to order most of my christmas gifts. and to work out three times. and to get my rainforest heater fixed because it is freezing. and order christmas cards. and not fall behind at work.



  1. neptune is a bastard.

    take him off your list.

  2. Good luck with your list. Sounds like mine, the one I already know there's no humanly way to get even half of done.
    Glad you had a good Thanksgiving!

  3. k, I don't see the stranger giving you feedback any different than your iif's doing the same in here, on here.

    'course, you had that lady right in front of ya right under yer nose while we're right in front of ya at yer convenience.


    i'm not so sure what to think about neptune loose in a house...makes me think of a mouse and lord knows where that'll take my thoughts.

  4. on the other hand, she -- a complete stranger -- thought it perfectly fine to introduce herself by telling me that my ex should have licked mashed potatoes off my breasts.

    Sounds about right to me, Peachpaw.

  5. Neptune is not known for his...politesse. Pee'd in my fireplace one time.
    Found him in the basement reading your 'blog another time. That was
    the last straw.

    Never had him back, always wondered where he got to. I suppose it's my fault
    for leaving the computer on....

    Garlic mashed potatoes?

  6. I think the mashed potato feedback story should work it's way into your repetoire too. That's pretty funny in itself.

  7. i'm with lady cooper! astrology-crazed women requesting men lick mashed potatoes off your boobs = good stuff :-)

  8. wow, it sounds exactly like MY list of things to do!

  9. At least it isn't Uranus.


  10. When will you be taking your stand-up act to the east coast? New York City always needs more funny women. Best wishes!

  11. "Feedback" sure is interesting. In MY day, we called it "constructive criticism." I find it strange when people give it when they have not been asked.

    This usually happens to me on the bus.

  12. i am fond of mashed potatoes. my name is david eckstein.

  13. I think that if you invite Venus and over for wine, she will definately chase away Neptune because of the nagging about the rings causing mayhem and knocking over the wine glasses.

    Good luck with the list!

  14. good goal!! can't wait to read you everyday. i haven't kept up on my blog that much, but want to. i seem to be whining about relationships instead of enlightening the world to the very interesting world of serving people (ridiculous sarcasm is applicable.) i have had strangers say totally whacky things like that to me at work too. soo fun!! not. good luck with your list.

  15.'re in SAN FRANCISCO...CALIFORNIA...weird people are par for the course. At least she didn't recommend that SHE lick it off...(after pouring gravy on them...)

    BLOG is good place for fodder. You've already done the homework. I'll buy the CD with FIREMAN bit on it...

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the new format.

  16. watching my then-roommate start up his comedy career in sf, and attending many, many open mic nights, i can attest to the interesting gathering of folks and feedback that arrive. he had, and i witnessed, many similar stories. but the feedback and workshopping aspect of it was critical in him moving from his own personal stories to a more stylized "comedic performance." if that makes sense. not saying, or knowing, if it works that way for everyone. i'm just sort of saying. i don't know a damn thing about it, other than watching jeff go from starting point to a moderate level of success (in that he supports himself with comedy work).

    missed you at thanksgiving. charlie is adorable.

    - cuznate

  17. Way to go! I'm very pleased you're contiuning your efforts and we all support you. Go out there and be your funny-as-hell self. About the feedback: it only has value if the person giving it to you A) did their own stand up routine, and B) was funnier than you in your opinion. Else a chilly "Thanks for your input." is all they deserve. If they push it just explain the above criteria. "For me to consider your opinion at all you have to go up onstage and make me think you're funnier than me. OKThanksbye!"

    In other news, speaking of goals, I finished my novel! It's pretty good I think! I'm shopping for l;iterary agents as I type. Wish me luck!

  18. good luck with your goals!
    You're still funny as heck in writing so I'm sure the stand up will be a big success too.

  19. "Weird people are par for the course in San Francisco, California"... like this statement carries any weight coming from a loser who couldn't make it in the military and was thrown out, and now makes a living murdering people for nothing more than money!


Post a Comment

Popular Posts