Hi. I'm Kristy.

And this is my personal blog.

Now, before we get too far into the "personal" aspect here, I should state for the record: I am actually a professional. I am a founder and partner of a successful social media network and agency, and come from a sort-of intense -- albeit rather diverse at times -- business background. I held my first agency marketing position at age 19 and have been online since 1993. I state this because NONE of that will seem obvious by reading anything else here. Hi. 

I've been writing about my life here for over eight years. And if that seems all sorts of crazy to you, welcome aboard!

Prominently featured, recurring characters on this blog include (in order of appearance):

• My ass, for which this blog is mostly named

Here is a drawing of my ass with a pantyhose hole during a critical moment in my career. (You can read THAT post here.)

• Wine
• Oh, and Gin
• And Bourbon
• My boobs, which have their own gravitational force
• My sisters
• <s>My a cappella group</s> (this ended after kid #2)
• My husband, Peter, who goes by "Ish"
• My two young children, who are listed last because they came on the scene well after I'd started blogging

Supporting roles go to various friends, family, and my stupid cats (of which there were FOUR, don't even get me started). Plus the occasional craft and/or cooking project gone awry.

When I started this in January of 2005, I was 29. I was single, dating, and living in a one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco. I had a kind of ridiculous job that indirectly involved selling miniature donkeys (not kidding) and also allowed me to blog a lot (the market for miniature donkeys isn't really that demanding). I wrote mostly about trying to lose weight...

...going on bad dates following a bad break-up, drinking too much, and generally making a fool of myself. Especially at the gym (see: The Fireman and My Ass).

Prior to my San Francisco escapades, I'd lived in Connecticut. I grew up and stayed there until everything fell to pieces in 2001 when, two weeks after my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my husband left me. Over the phone. So, yeah. (I wrote a series of short but poignant-if-I-do-say-so posts about my divorce here.) Thus, with nothing to lose, I decided to move to SF -- sight unseen -- in October of 2001.

Both of my parents died of cancer by the time I was 30.

In August of 2005, I went on (yet another) date with (yet another) guy I met on Craigslist. It didn't start off well. But, thanks to an entirely inappropriate comment made by yours truly, the date got better. We got engaged a little over three years later, five days before we found out I was pregnant. We were married unceremoniously at SF City Hall on Obama's Inauguration Day, January 20, 2009.

Then we moved to Napa.

This means that yes, I live among the wine now. It's as if the mother ship has called me home.

Our daughter, Eve, was born in July of 2009. Our son, Townsend, was born in May of 2011.

* * * * * * * *

More about me! In bullet fashion! La la laaaaa!

• I started this blog under the guise that I would be using it to write about my weight loss efforts. And if you've been following along, you'll know that the only proper response to hearing that is HAHAHAHA.
  
  
• This is why I can't wear sundresses:

• I grew up in Connecticut in a big, falling-apart farmhouse that was not unlike a zoo. My parents raised me and my two younger sisters with lots of love and animals and games and fun, but only parts of my childhood were idyllic. Many pieces were broken, too. As a point of reference, we were not raised with any religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "bourbon" in which case I say hallelujah, amen.
  
  
• I fall a lot. And spill. And trip. I am always bruised. (True story: as I was driving to work this morning, I noticed that I had managed to get a glop of toothpaste on my pant leg, just under my knee. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? I don't know. It just does.) My friend refers to this as my "breezy elegance." I try to embrace it.
  
  
• I am liberal, in pretty much every way you can be liberal.
  
  
• Given how much I spill and trip and make a complete ass out of myself, it may be hard for you to believe that I have ever had an actual job. You are not wrong to be confused. But as I state above, before I left the workplace to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom, I actually had impressive-y type jobs at Important Organizations, including this company, which we liked to refer to as being in "The Fortune 1." (CORPORATE HUMOR, FOLKS.)
  
  More recently, I was the person who ran BlogHer's Conferences and Events and all related Marketing. That means that I was responsible for running the BlogHer Conferences when they were just getting off the ground. I take great pride in this, since our events seemed to set the bar for blogging conferences everywhere. It was a tough job, but I daresay I know as much as anyone about how sponsors and bloggers should work together.
  
  Anyway.
  
  A few twists and fortuitous turns later, I joined forces with the women who launched Clever Girls Collective. I'm now a full-fledged partner in our kickass social media agency, and find that running my own business while being a work-from-home mom is exactly what I want to be doing.  It allows me to be smart and productive despite having stains on my shirt.
  
  Also, I know a lot of stuff.

Hmm. There are also like, a million other things I should probably also mention, but I don't know how to prioritize them. So oh well. Maybe you will have to read the blog after all. 

Or you could just ask. I kind of suck at replying to email in a timely fashion, but I will write you back eventually.

But just because you read this much (wow!), I have posted some pictures below for your enjoyment.

Happy reading!

-k

Further synopsis via random snapshots!

I grew up in Norwalk, CT. In this house. It looks pretty but please note that absolutely nothing inside of it ever worked.

















I have two younger sisters (featured circa 1984):


Foreshadowing a life as a super-sexy knitter, in high school, I was a super-sexy member of the marching band. My senior year, I was even the drum major:


Then I thought I grew up, so I got married:


I was wrong about the grown-up thing, so I got divorced, drove across the country, and spent several years living in San Francisco as though I were 22. Disposable income FTW!

Sometimes people take pictures of me when I've been drinking:

(That's the cable car going by.)

I like gin martinis:


Now I live in Napa with these cute people (photo December, 2009):