Friday, January 28, 2005

"Fuck you, skinny bitch from hell!"

okay. so here's the other side of the muumuu situation:

just because i'm not actively covering myself up under a tent does not mean i am happy being overweight. in fact, please do not assume that i am even remotely resigned to being thought of as heavy.

for instance. generally when skinny girls are complaining about putting on a few pounds, i try to be encouraging or positive or accepting. i mean, obviously i understand body issues. but sometimes i can't help but point out the obvious--that while i DO understand, i'm probably not the best person for someone moving from size 4 to size 6 to complain to.

and sometimes i say so. and then i get the worst line of all:

"oh, but it looks okay on you!"

um, what? did you really just suggest that my fat looks okay on me? that it's okay for me to look this way? that i should think i look fine, when my weight is 150% of yours? would you even consider saying that to a skinny person?

another example: my friend m was enjoying a massage from her regular masseuse, who absent-mindedly mentioned that m reminded her of another client . . . a client who the masseuse had just discussed as being very out of shape. "you remind me of her," the masseuse said. m hoped she didn't mean body-wise, given how negatively the masseuse had described it. but the masseuse added, "especially your girth reminds me of her."


obviously, the masseuse did not mean to outrightly insult my friend, but how oblivious do you have to be to use the word "girth"!?!?

m's reaction was completely understandable. suddenly saddened, self-conscious, and a little shocked, m couldn't help but think "no more touching my body. fuck you, skinny bitch from hell!" and i can't blame her.

so i repeat: just because we're walking around with it doesn't mean we're resigned to it. if it's not okay for you, chances are it's not okay for us, either.

2 comments:

  1. Opinionated skinny bitch from hell here.

    Being a skinny bitch I have to first disqualify myself because I have topped out at a mere 155lbs (at the midget height of 5'2") with just lots of tits and ass. I slid back without any effort or intent to my usual cut yourself on my hip bone skinny. I do, however, know something about not fitting into the established visual norms for women and so I vaguely requalify myself. I know it is painful to not look how you "should" look, and I know it is hard to be overlooked as a sex symbol.

    So, now I am going to bring you some true wisdom from the fat dykes I have known in the queer universe:

    - Skinny models were introduced into clothing catalogs because the volumptuous full figured models were so sexy they were distracting people from buying clothes. Things got twisted around and soon protomarketers were applying sexy back on to the skinny models. That is how we got to our current societal obsession.

    - Surveys have shown that the one place where it is still completely ok to show prejudice is with fat people. It is even becoming unacceptable to bash queers, but the fat folks have a long row to hoe.

    - NPR just reported that while most fat people do have the same basal metabolism there is a hereditary disposition towards figiting and hyperness that keeps skinny people on this side of the fat line in the sand.

    OK I am done with the informational session. I am sure you were aware of some of that, and I apologize for going on.

    Here is my skinny bitch problem: I love you dearly and it breaks my heart that you don't see yourself as the stunning hottie that I see. I know you feel the need to skinny up for yourself. I support you in that. But keep in mind that there are still some of out there who get week in the knees and wet in the crouch at the sight of a woman with some meat on her bones.

    I bless you that you both loose the weight you want to loose, and that you gain the devil may care attitude required to live with looking different. It will come in hand later - when you are skinny, but old.

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