looks like i've lost about 8 lbs. in 15 days...maybe closer to 9 or 10. pretty darn good. i showed up at work on tuesday morning thinking "yay!"
but that didn't last. i got ahead of myself and forgot about the evil flip side. i forgot what it's like at the beginning.
the beginning is a bitch. it's all i can do to get motivated, to accept that this is a looooong process that requires changes in diet but also in habits, mindsets, attitude. but i DO accept these things. i start thinking of all the benefits. i start remembering what it's like to be thin. and then, i do the worst thing of all. i start envisioning myself as thin.
i get so excited about the first hints of weight dropping, i accidentally start thinking that i look totally different. i start thinking that 10 pounds is enough to make everyone on the planet notice how different i look. i expect the "ooohs" and "ahhhs" that come, eventually, with significant weight loss.
and then i show up at work, and no one says anything. and i go to the ladies' room and look in the mirror, and i am shocked, baffled, and disappointed.
i look the same.
and that is when i get discouraged. sure, it's great that i've made the first dent, but shouldn't 10 (#$#*(&%#) pounds look...umm...more something? garner at least a "you look different, did you do something to your hair" statement?
"aw, man." i know that i'm off to a good start, but it's hard to battle the reality that i've still got so far to go.
i just have to look forward to the day when 10 pounds is all i have left to lose. and, of course, the oohs and ahhs along the way.