So What's The Point?

the story goes like this:

One day, my mom took her four-year-old niece, Lisa shopping. My mother decided to try on a pair of pants, so she brought Lori into the dressing room with her. As she looked in the mirror, it was evident that the pants were too small. My mom stared despondently at her rear-end.

"My god, my butt is huge," my mom said -- to herself and to the impressionable child. "What am I gonna do?"

Lisa answered immediately, casually, with a wave of her hand:
"Oh, my mom gots dat. She just walks around with it."

so really, the point is twofold. first and foremost, i'm sick and tired of walking around with it. i'm tired of being overweight. and even though i've been walking around with this torturous mass for several years now, i'm tired of not recognizing myself when i look in the mirror. and i'm tired of not doing enough about it.

now i'm going to do enough about it.

i'm going to lose the weight i want and gain control of my body and health. i'm going to diet and i'm going to exercise. and i'm going to whine and be a basketcase the whole time. and i'm going to track the entire mess of it here.

the second point, however, is about attitude. i know this is going to be hard and i know it's going to take me the better part of 2005 (the year i turn 30 thankyouverymuch) to get to my ideal size. which means that even though i'm expecting great things to happen, there will be many days when i feel defeated: gross, ugly, unattractive, and really really fat. on those days -- the days when i feel like i haven't made any progress, or when i feel like the progress will never be enough -- those are the days i will have to remind myself that sometimes the best we can do is try and stay positive, put on lipstick, grab a martini, and just walk around with it.