There are few things in this entire world I could use LESS than a $260 Phoenix 75w Laser Pen, but I can't even think of what they are. Mostly because I don't really know what a $260 Phoenix 75w Laser Pen is, or if it's like, WAY better than a 74w Laser Pen, or what I would ever need to laser with a pen anyway.
But if you see the image -- here, let me go steal it, hang on --
-- you will realize that by voting for me, you will be giving me the greatest gift of all. And that is the POWER TO BURN.
In military grade!
And in green no less! It will match my eyes!
In truth, I cannot imagine a worse person to give the "power of burning" to. But then, you can feel safe that I will use that power for good. Or at least for accident. In which case I will have much to blog about ("What do you mean, do I know how the fire started, Officer? I just-- hey, do you happen to know what a blog is?")
Oh, my. Just think of the photos of the pen! And the lasering! What could be more amazing!?!?
(Um, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can always see this post.)