Angry Yaks & Analrapists

So a few entries ago, I did the 8 Random Things meme, wherein I mentioned my childhood fear of yaks.

And then there was this terror-inducing comment:

Biff Spiffy said...
I'm only on nummer 3 or 4. I looked at your Yak video, and the original (on the sidebar) brought back the same vivid horrifically scary memories.

What were those crackheads thinking??

The original yak bit:

OF COURSE I had to go look and see what the original looked like and it turns out? YAK ANIMATION STILL SCARES ME.

Why create a yak in cartoon form only to make it mean and gruff? And that end part? When the yak comes CHARGING at your screen?

That is one totally indefensibly angry yak, if you ask me.


So the way these things work, I now tag 8 more people to do the same thing. And I will. Except first, I need to introduce you to someone in particular.

Ages ago, my friend Lisa alerted me to this funny blogger, named Dan.

She'd told me all about this one post of his where he discusses his adventures of wearing a Tobias Funke "analrapist" shirt and how it turns out that most of the country never watched Arrested Development.

Now, if you're any kind of fan of Arrested Development, you know exactly what this is and you're going to read the post and laugh until you cry.

But if you are like most everyone else and you never watched or paid attention to the show, you're probably thinking I'm sending you to the site of an anal rapist.

That's funny, Kristy has never asked us to go look at an anal raping blog before...

But back to Dan.

Shortly after Lisa announced to our singing group that Dan has the funniest blog on the internet, and then suddenly looked horrified and added, to me, "I mean, aside from yours!" I discovered him, Dan stopped blogging. So there was no point in bringing him up here and encouraging you all to read him.

But then he created the Redacted Blog and returned to regularly posting.

And I have to tell you. He really is hilarious.

So then, right. I was GOING to mention him here ages ago, but didn't. And you're perhaps wondering why. (Or not, whatever.)

But I have two very good reasons.

1. I am petty and jealous and afraid that if I told you about Dan's blog you would never ever come back here. Especially because he's so goshdarn cute.
Losing my entire readership = Strike One

2. I decided I would get over myself and link to him, but I wanted to introduce myself first. I thought perhaps we could become blog buddies. Right? Makes sense? So I wrote him and expressed how much I enjoyed his blog (and sure, maybe I also proposed marriage, but who's to say exactly?) and that I thought we should connect. And then he never replied.
Not thinking an uninvited email proposal is cute = Strike Two

Oh well, I thought.

But then several weeks later I got a mass email from him! And was like, HOLD THE PHONE. If he managed to get my name onto his mailing list, he at least got my email and knows I'm a reader.

So I wrote him. Again.

And he did not reply. Again.

I wasn't really taking it personally, but I also couldn't figure it out. I mean, if I were him, I would want to connect with me. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn't I interesting enough?

Why wouldn't he pay attention to me?

(I will NOT be ignored!)

So I kept reading his blog. And waiting.

And then one day, I saw my chance. A golden opportunity to write Dan about something sort of kind of useful. Dan had made a very common grammatical error, and I decided I would call him* on it.

And that time he replied. A-ha!

I was thrilled.

Except my excitement was short-lived. Because rather than his response being the beginning of a long-running email exchange between us, an Internet friendship, a meaningful relationship...well. To him it was just a one-time thing. Casual. Forgettable.

Which made me a little bit, you know, cranky.

However, I am pleased to say that this story has a happy ending. No dead rabbit boiling on the stove. No police report filed. No me pretend-innocuously finding a way to show up in "Brooke's" living room, only to have Dan come home and be all, "What is SHE doing here" and me being all, "I'm sorry; Dan was it?" complete with blank stare and eyelash batting and then me with the whole, "Brooke was just telling me that you're a 'bloggist,' I believe it was?"

Yeah, no.

Instead, we have agreed to acknowledge each other's online presence. And I think that is swell.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

Remember about how it's my duty to tag more bloggers to write 8 Random Things about themselves? Well, here's who I'm tagging:

**Oh, and while I encourage you to follow the basic rules of this game, I am also asking that, if possible, you please include at least one tidbit about some form of livestock.**

1. Dan, who you might recall from 7 lines ago.

2. Sam, darling IIF.

3. Michele, despite her praising anything in the state of Delaware.

4. Shannon, who is in the throes of weddingmania as well.

5. Dizzy Ms. Lizzy, who is in need of a few blog posts! (ahem)

6. Leila, because she complimented me and I am SO EASY like that. (Also she's cute and asked.)

7. Elle, because she complimented me and I wasn't lying in #6.

8. Tami, who blogger hates, apparently.

And there it is. Good luck!

*By which I mean I basically sent him a bitchy email alerting him to the fact that it's "champing" at the bit and not "chomping" at the bit.


  1. I always thought it was "chomping" too. Please enlighten.

  2. that frikken post was a riot. loved it.
    great job.

    off to check out dan's blog...

  3. P.S. Your *admiration* must have worked. You are on his "Blogs I Call The Next Day" list. You are right. He is funny.

  4. I don't usually click on links within posts because I have a very short attention span and God Knows where I will end up.

    So I did not go to the youtube link. I didn't go to the original one, either. But I read "when the yak comes CHARGING at your screen" and suddenly there it was in full life-threatening color. The whole animation played, and is still playing, in my memory.

    Finally, I have been to enough County Fairs to know that some yaks have curly blond hair - just like Glen Close. So there you go.

  5. Oh my god, Kristy. I just wasted half an hour at work on Dan's blog, doing the silent nose laughing, shoulders shaking thing.

    He IS funny. But I'll always come back to you, sweetheart.

  6. Thanks for the tag. I still say you are wrong about Delaware. C'mon, how can you not love a state who has an Annual Apple and Scrapple Festival?

    I did mine. Consider llama my livestock.

  7. Actually, Kristy, I HAVE started posting again, after a long dry spell. AND, I even mentioned YOU in one of my more recent posts . . .:-)

    I am thinking of 8 random things and will get right on the post - - thanks for the tag! :-)

  8. Chomping at the bit is also good. Here is some history: Chomp vs Champ
    Good thing language is a living, breathing thing, or we'd all be talking like Shapespeare, or, ...

    Funny post regardless of the linguistics. It must have been a wedding weekend, see these lovely shoes.

  9. Jesus H. Christ! That Disney store picture has to be burned.
    yes, I lurk...

  10. Yay! Thanks for the tag, Kristy! I've posted my 8 randoms.

    Ps. I mean "neurotic" in the most complimentary way. :)

  11. Hey Kristy,

    I have now posted my 8 Random Things at:

    Hope you enjoy them! :-)

  12. Thanks so much for the tag Kristy! You made my day. (Is that too sad and pathetic to admit. Oh well.) My 8 things post is now up at

  13. HA! Your blog is FABULOUS!!! Mind if I add you to my blogroll???


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